


We're taught to live and loathe, but when do we learn to love?

by NicePlaceToBe



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Sharing a Bed, Vanya Hargreeves Needs A Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:01:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 58,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23243686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicePlaceToBe/pseuds/NicePlaceToBe
Summary: If Five had jumped to the apocalypse in two jumps rather than three, would it have changed anything?(Maybe just about everything)Or:When Five fell into his bed later that night, he felt as if he had aged infinitely. He was not the same as he had been when he went down for breakfast.He had seen the end of the world, and now Five had a second chance.(Because if they did only have a few years left, Five thinks one of his greatest regrets might be not knowing his own sister).Before, he might have noticed but not asked. Now, Five wasn’t content to let sleeping dogs lie.Everything had changed.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Allison & Ben & Diego & Klaus & Luther & Vanya, Number Five | The Boy & Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy) & Everyone, Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves, Vanya Hargreeves & Everyone
Comments: 89
Kudos: 845
Collections: The umbrella academy





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So in this AU-because they all deserve better- rather than Five jumping to a summer day and then a winter one before he jumped to the apocalypse, he's a little more ambitious and jumps further sooner, meaning he still has enough energy to perform one jump back. 
> 
> Also, because my AU, my rules, I'm using this idea I had about Five's powers- since he can manipulate time and space with the right equations, imagine the possibilities when he can manipulate energy (not on as large of a scale as Vanya who actually creates it, but on a basic level where he can 'borrow' it if it's dispersed through the space). Just a heads up. 
> 
> This chapter is a little short but it's a starting point and was fun to write at least!

Five wishes he’d done a lot of things differently. 

First of all, he wishes he’d wasted less time trying to battle Reginald- especially when he knew the he would never budge (but Five never has prided himself on his ability to know when to stop pushing, that’s how he knows he’s getting somewhere, when people start getting angry) because he could have saved so much time if he just rolled his eyes and did it anyway rather than talking about it. 

Second, he wishes he had stolen more cash in general. The old man wasn’t missing it and Griddy’s sold a good cup of coffee for a reasonable price, which made any shitty training day mildly better. 

Third, he wonders if he shouldn’t have tried harder with his siblings. Not with Luther, Allison or Diego- all of them were content to have a distanced relationship with him and he couldn’t say he minded, they were too easily caught up in his father’s rivalries for Five to be properly close to any of them. But Ben liked reading and Five thinks maybe he should have tried to find more than quiet companionship in him, though he was often with Klaus. Who, speaking of, Five was fond of as well, but Number Four was spacey and while he had to work as hard as Five at controlling his powers, Klaus had grown to hate his while Five thrived under the pressure. 

Number Seven had always been a mystery to Five- she was always watching everything. Sometimes he felt her eyes on him and his own gaze was often drawn to her.

Vanya didn’t say much, but when he had overspent himself in training, he would always come back to consciousness in his bed with a peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich next to him. When he asked Grace, she had simply looked perplexed until he asked her about what Reginald had competed in the Olympics for (a gold medalist in fencing and received a Nobel Prize for _whatever-)-_ and none of his other siblings would have been thoughtful enough to do that.

In turn, when Five goes on expeditions outside (that he can get away with because a few missing minutes can’t always be tracked, even by Reginald Hargreeves) he finds violin music to bring back to her or borrows books that he slips into her room and he’ll try to catch her eye when they were at meals or in the hallways. It seemed to be an unspoken agreement that they had and now Five wishes he had talked to her more than _‘Pass the salt,_ ’ over the years because he had _so_ _many_ questions. 

_What do you do when we go to training? Do you like playing the violin? Does Dad annoy you as much as he does me? Do you like the music and books? Why do you make me sandwiches? Why don’t we talk? Why don’t_ you _talk? What are you thinking when you have a blank face? Do you ever feel lonely even though we have five siblings?_

But he never asked them. Most of all though, he wishes he hadn’t been such a self-important asshole. 

It was the unfortunate truth that Reginald Hargreeves was not always 100% wrong. Even more unfortunate- and, while it pained Five to even think it- it was maybe even possible that Reignald could be less than 99% incorrect in this particular instance. Because while he was an asshole, he was generally a ruthless asshole, so if there was any chance of pushing his charges further, he would do it. 

Five assumed it was about control when he wouldn’t let him time-travel, which it probably was, but it was also because time was a crap shoot. 

If spatial-jumping was like stabbing sitting ducks, time-jumping was trying to grab killer geese with _teeth_ as they swarmed and tried to attack you like magpies. In short, time very much did not appreciate a 15 year old Five with huge amounts of unearned confidence effectively deciding to do the cha-cha slide through the space-time continuum. 

But when he stuck that knife in the table (and he could have sworn Vanya muttered something like ‘Oh, Five, _no_ _,_ ’ but he can’t be sure) and challenged his father he was certain he had the equations right. 

(To actually perform a spatial jump, Five has to have roughly the coordinates of the space he was jumping to in his mind and then apply the basic formula that balanced out the ultimate amount of matter between him and his destination so he could create the portal to jump through. 

After years of doing it, it was a little like writing- he still had to think about it initially but then he can easily slip into it. However, also like writing when you got a hand cramp, jumping sometimes gave him migraines and he couldn’t move without his head pounding and tasting blood. Though he could usually tell where his limits were in a fight scenario- in training… less so. He _thought_ time jumping would work off a similar basis and so he crunched the numbers.)

He did not have the equations right.

He was very much _wrong_ and he paid for it in the worst kind of way, in that when Five stormed out of that house (Vanya shaking her head when he stood up and Diego looking like he would rather be anywhere else, fuelling his desire to prove everyone wrong) he did what he knew best- Five jumped. 

  
  
  


He jumped what must have been at most a few years ahead- it was fine! 

Summer bloomed and Five laughed, thinking about how he would shove this in his father’s face when he came back ( _‘Not ready, my ass.’)_ \- and for the last time ever, he could finally disappear and Reginald Hargreeves would never find where he was, let alone _when_ he was. 

So Five was still laughing when he stepped through space and time, and into a wasteland. 

He stopped and spun around. Everything was decimated- dust and rubble could be seen for miles around, some fires still burning in the wreckage. Five sprinted back the way he came- _surely, surely not, Reginald Hargreeves would not let the Umbrella Academy be in ruins as long as he lived_ and yet there it was, the house he had just left; the cold home was now destroyed and barely a husk of its former foundations but it could not be mistaken, the gates he had just shoved open leant against the broken stone.

He felt panic rise in his chest and he yelled, “Vanya?”

There was no response and he felt the air in his lungs start to disappear.

“Ben? Dad?” A pause followed again. 

“Anyone?” Five screamed hopelessly, as ash rained down from the sky. 

His heart was pounding and his stomach was sick with regret and somehow he found himself sunk on his knees in front of the remnants of the Umbrella Academy- as if he were worshipping a broken altar, praying for peace, or maybe just atonement for his actions. 

And it was then that Five wished he had done things differently, because nothing quite puts your life in perspective like watching it burn around you. 

——————————————————————————

Vanya wasn't worried. She was sure she shouldn’t be. _Five was a big boy,_ she reminded herself, _he was the one who ran out of breakfast._ _(And hasn’t been seen_ since _-)._

Vanya wasn't worried. She _wasn't_. Even if Five had been talking about time travel and he had been badgering Father about it for a while...

He usually wouldn’t be so obviously rebellious unless he had a grand plan- one that included disappearing forever or certain death. And Vanya wasn't sure if the idiot would be able to tell the difference. 

  
  


So Vanya was worried. Sue her. 

After breakfast the Umbrella Academy was whisked off to wherever it was that they went after breakfast, while Vanya went to her lessons. She tried to ask Grace, but she merely smiled that cookie-cutter smile that was disturbing blank and told her Five was fine. At dinner, his absence was as glaringly obvious as Sir Reginald’s displeasure. Instead of lasting the length of a record, they were all permitted to leave earlier though, so she supposed small mercies should be appreciated. 

“Have you heard from Five?” Vanya asked Ben as they went back upstairs (who looked a bit shocked, as if he couldn’t recall the last time Vanya spoke, let alone to him) 

“Nothing all day,” Ben replied as soon as he recovered from the surprise. 

“Did he say anything to you, before he left?” Vanya hated to ask, she really did, but she knew Ben was the most likely to actually answer her questions. 

“Five is fine, he’s just making a point to Dad,” Allison interrupted. Suddenly, they were all standing in the hallway between their bedrooms and facing each other, and Vanya doesn’t want to, but she can’t stop wondering about Five- 

“He’ll come home,” Luther said decisively and though Diego rolled his eyes, he didn’t say anything; their impromptu meeting disbanded. 

  
  


Five had always struck Vanya as interesting- he was the only one openly defiant towards Reginald and he would smile at her if he caught her eye, which was more than what the rest of their siblings did. Vanya struggled to remember a time when her siblings hadn’t ignored her- but there was never a time when she wasn’t ordinary so she supposed that it couldn't come as a surprise.

Five watched her sometimes though- with a look in his eyes that made her feel as if she had something to prove, or maybe she already had- and she would admit he was probably her favourite, despite having never properly spoken to him, purely because of his wit. Sometimes his responses made her bite back surprised laughter and those were among the precious few moments she cared not to forget. 

So where was he? 

Vanya forced herself not to think over the possibilities- lost or scared or hungry, or maybe happy and well-fed and already sleeping and _free_. But she couldn’t help herself. And, if only to ease her own mind, she went into the kitchen and made a peanut-butter and marshmallow sandwich, because she knew they were his favourite. As she made her way back up to her room, she switched on the lights and left the sandwich waiting for him.

She hoped that if Five saw the lights, then he would know to come home. 

————————————————————————————

Five isn’t sure how long he sat there, but when he finally stood and took stock of his abilities, it wasn’t good. 

He was pretty sure he may have just about one jump left in him- and he didn't know how far he’d get, but he could only wish it was back far enough. A newspaper half burnt and dusty in a cracked stand reads the date ‘April 1st’ and he grimly hoped he could get the dates right (and pointedly didn't think about the bodies he was sure he saw because he's seen enough blood in his lifetime to know you never really forget what death looks like). 

He clenched his fists and clicked the numbers into place in his head, holding on tight to all the energy he had as he pushed through the gap he made in the fabric of time.

Five’s head was pounding and in the corner of his line of sight he could see rainbow shining streaks swimming at the edge of his vision, so he closed eyes. But now he knew there were people and buildings and Five thought that was almost cause for weeping.

(Silence and emptiness like that was oppressive and Five didn't want to think now about what could have caused such destruction). 

So the good news was he was out of there, bad news was he didn’t know when or where he was. He had been focusing so hard on simply _not there_ that he forgot to control where he would land, but he doesn’t suppose it matters now because when he tried to jump again, he knew he couldn’t. 

Mentally and physically drained, Five couldn’t even try to use his father’s recent lessons on pulling energy from his environment.

(Since Number Five could manipulate time and space, Reginald had been pressing him to try and take the energy from his surroundings. Though Five wasn't not even sure how that would work- he would need equations to even _attempt_ diverting and redirecting energy from its source to a new purpose, and to consider writing up new equations he'd have to find how energy dispersed itself through the atmosphere. And given his latest circumstances, Five wasn't sure that was the best idea.)

He was weak and he should've tried to recuperate but _he just_ _wanted to go home_. 

And so he was bracing for another attempt at jumping when he heard the music start- he didn't know exactly where he was, but it was fairly dark and Five’s eyes burned when he opened them, so he didn't. 

What he didn't realise was that in his equations, where usually he would apply the amount of energy he was committing to a jump, Five left it blank since he wasn't actually sure if he had anything left to give. Especially since time-jumping seemed to take more energy than he’d anticipated, and a lot more than spatial-jumping, Five couldn't even give a rough estimation like he might in the midst of a mission.

Never mind the reason, the point is that his equations were open and so when the raw _energy_ and _power_ that the music held reached Five's ears, unbridled and undirected as it was, he unconsciously absorbed it for his equations. 

As soon as he realised he was moving- it wasn't just nausea- his eyes snapped open and Five swore he saw a blinding white figure glowing in a ghostly light. The sound waves seemed to hit the windows as he left because he heard the glass shatter- and he was almost sure he saw the world around him burst into flames and tumble to wreckage, but then he was gone. 

So Five held onto the thought of the Umbrella Academy, exactly as he left it, and then he was gone in a flash of blue light. 

(Hoping, _wishing_ that he might find his way home.)

————————————————————————————

It had been three days and Vanya’s nerves were frayed.

At breakfast, she had just barely been able to keep her anger checked ( _she must need to up her dose of pills now, since she shouldn’t be feeling so much unless she wanted to have a fit_ ). Anger that everyone was acting like it was fine, like nothing had changed when Five’s chair had been removed from the table the day after his disappearance.

They sat in silence and Vanya’s blood boiled as she listened to a record detailing how to survive in the desert, and she tried very hard not to show just how close to snapping she was. All day it was a struggle to tamp down the inflammatory feelings, even once she took another pill after breakfast. So when they were walking up from dinner, Vanya was at her wit’s end to keep her emotions contained. 

“Is there _anywhere_ Five would have gone?”

“He didn’t tell me specifically if there was, but I think he thought that any place would be better than here,” Ben answered. He was less surprised at Vanya’s interrogations now, but he didn’t have anything new to tell her. 

“Don’t worry, he’ll be back- Five always comes back,” Luther asserted and this time, Diego didn’t keep his mouth shut. 

“Christ, Luther, this isn’t a mission where we all come home. Five probably isn’t even in the country anymore, let alone thinking of coming _back_.” When he got angry, it was easier to work though his stutter, and Diego could _always_ find reasons to be angry at Number One. 

“He’ll come back!" Allison said before turning to her, "Why do you care anyway Seven?” Vanya was 70% sure Allison doesn’t know her name and she has been itching for a fight since this morning. 

“Like _you_ care. Since when have you given a shit about what I cared about, Three? You probably didn’t even notice Five was gone because you’re too busy trying to kiss Luther!” 

It was playing dirty- everyone knew that Luther and Allison’s weak spots were each other- but Vanya had been stewing for the past three days (in her worry and fear about what happened to Five, mixed with her confusion about why she cared and the anxiety about feeling so much because her pills weren’t _working_ ) and was pissed enough to have the confidence to say it.

Allison looked like she had been slapped across the face and was gearing up to respond when Klaus broke the tension, probably still high off the joint she saw him rolling before they went down to eat. 

“Ooh, look at Vanya go, didn’t know she had it in her!”

Ben snorted and Diego cackled, Vanya felt a small smile tweak her lips as Klaus draped an arm over her shoulder- far more open than he would be sober. It was nice not to feel so alone, but Vanya knew she wasn’t really welcome here- and the fight left her just as quickly as it had flared. She gave a wan smile and slipped back downstairs. 

  
  
  


After making Five’s snack, she put down everything she was carrying to go and turn the outside light on. Poking her head out the door, Vanya meant to check the light was working- because she could have sworn she saw a light shining- but when she looked, it was dark. She was quickly distracted though, by the crumpled figure leaning heavily against the wall. 

“ _Shit_ ,” Vanya heard the figure say.

And he had such a distinctive way of speaking that she had to ask, “Five?”

“Vanya? Oh god please tell me that’s you. Where am I? _When_ am I?” He tried to move, but the exhaustion from the jumps left him with limbs like lead and pain still stabbing behind his eyelids. 

He felt someone pull his arm around them and lift him half up and Five leant heavily against them ( _Vanya_?) as she murmured, “You’re home, you’re ok.”

Five was a lot taller than Vanya, heavier too, and she could just barely keep upright as she struggled through the garden and back into the house.

“Are we- where-?” He slurred- he hadn’t had any food or water for hours and his tongue felt fat and lazy in his mouth. 

“Can you open your eyes?” Vanya asked, guiding him through the kitchen. 

“Hurts too much,” Five mumbled. 

“Ok, keep them closed. We’re going upstairs now, step up with me,” Vanya tried not to think about how this was the closest she had ever been to Five and this was probably their longest conversation in 15 years of living in the same house. 

“Could you go any slower?” Five snarked.

He could hear the worry in her voice, something he had never heard before, because when Vanya spoke she didn’t let anyone hear what she was really feeling- and hearing her talk like this was more unsettling than the usual blank tone she normally used. Five wasn’t emotionally smart- no one is at 15, especially not any of the Hargreeves- but he was sarcastic and a pain in the ass and maybe being himself would distract her, if not dispel her worries. 

“Well maybe if you ate some real food and drank something other than coffee you wouldn’t be difficult to lift,” Vanya shot back, hauling him bodily up the stairs.

Five laughed at that even though it hurt a little, and asked, “Did you guys miss me? I mean it’s probably only been a couple hours for you-” 

“You’ve been gone for three days Five.” 

“Fuck,” he groaned when his eyes snapped open in surprise. “I knew those equations were off. Is Dad pissed at least?” Five asked a touch hopefully-maybe it wasn't a total waste. 

“Mostly about the table I think. Did you really need to stab it?” Vanya asked, amusement leaking into her tone.

“It was an integral part of my plan,” he deadpanned. 

“And everyone thinks Allison and Klaus are the dramatic ones,” Vanya remarked. She was struggling to keep her voice even because stairs were cardio without heaving your heavier brother up with you, but she wasn’t sure Five was even conscious that they were having this conversation. 

“Speaking of dramatic, I saw something-” Five began as they started down the hallway.

He had never been so relieved to smell the characteristic smell of home- Klaus’ stash of weed or the stench of bleach Grace used to clean everything.

(He was here, he was now, he was safe- the Umbrella Academy still stood and he praised whatever it was that was holy for the fact that he had made it back). 

He wasn’t sure what he was going to say next- _hey yeah, I time-travelled to a post apocalyptic world where everything and everyone was dead, and then I think I went far back enough to see the apocalypse happening, but good news is I know when it’s going to happen so you might as well set your timer for how long you get to live._

(That was cynical, even for Five.) 

But before he could start piecing together his fuzzy and confused memories, they suddenly stopped walking.

Vanya’s grip tightened imperceptibly and Five wondered at why they had paused when Grace said, “Number Five, you’re back.” 

He fought the urge to say ‘ _Y_ _eah, no shit’-_ because it wasn't her fault but could she not say stupid things?- and Grace guided him away from Vanya.

"I’ll take you to the medical wing.”

“I don’t need a check-up-“ Five started, but Grace had mechanical strength and was far more awake than an exhausted and drained Five, and she easily led him away.

He couldn’t even gather the breath to say he’d rather stay with Vanya or at least thank her- because if it was night and only a few days after he disappeared, what was she doing downstairs so late?

When Five fell into his bed later that night, he felt as if he had aged infinitely. He was not the same as he had been when he went down for breakfast. 

He had seen the end of the world, and now Five had a second chance. 

(Because if they did only have a few years left, Five thinks one of his greatest regrets might be not knowing his own sister). 

Before, he might have noticed but not asked. Now, Five wasn’t content to let sleeping dogs lie. 

Everything had changed.

———————————————————————————

Vanya stood in the hallway alone.

She wondered if she should tell her siblings that Five was home- though she was sure they would want to hear it from her and doubtless they would all know by the morning anyway. 

She didn't know why she felt out-of-place now; maybe it had been nice to be needed, for however brief a period that she could help someone before she faded back into obscurity, because she was _ordinary_ in a family of extraordinary. Vanya ignored the laughter she can hear coming from the bedrooms (and the twinge that accompanied it knowing that she wasn't invited, wasn't _wanted_ ) and went back to her own darkened bedroom. 

There wasn't anything that had been altered- not now that she knew Five had returned and since there was no longer a crisis uniting them, her siblings would go back to ignoring her.

There wasn't any change now that she knew how heavy Five was or that he smells like coffee _always_ even after disappearing for three days.

Their relationship remained the same- tomorrow at breakfast, she would watch everything as she ate, unnoticed, while Five would doubtlessly smirk at Sir Reginald and Vanya would bite back a smile when he wished their benefactor a wonderful day and they wouldn't talk. 

( _Why did the thought leave a bitter taste in her mouth?_ Vanya pondered as she took her medication)

Because it would all be the same as usual. 

Nothing had changed. 


	2. Chapter 2

Coming down to breakfast the next morning, Vanya was accosted by her siblings in the hallway.

“Is Five really back?” Allison demanded, eager to know all the details. 

Diego retorted as he came down the corridor, “You saw him yourself, didn’t you?” 

“What I want to know is where he went. Does he know how angry Dad is?” Number One spoke over the light squabble that had broken out between Diego and Allison.

“Does he care?” Ben murmured aside to Klaus- who was still, at this point, sober enough that most things were comprehensible.

“What did he tell you, Seven?”

She wanted to snap that her name was not Seven, it was Vanya, but the irritation faded quickly ( _it looked like her medication was working again then)._

Instead, Vanya settled simply on saying, “He didn’t tell me anything.”

“You could just ask me you know? There’s not really a need to conduct an investigation in the hallway outside my bedroom when I’m behind the door and _can hear_ you." Five appeared in a flash of blue light beside Vanya- just a little too close, which told her he wasn’t fully recovered; Five jumped only to exactly where he meant to and not a millimetre off. 

_He really shouldn’t be doing that,_ Vanya thought. He looked remarkably normal for the state he arrived home in last night, but the bags under his eyes were obvious and the bite in his tone told her that he was exhausted and was craving caffeine.

Five had in fact had a rather busy night, finding that he couldn’t go to sleep despite his eyelids feeling as if they were glued together. Instead, he had done a little digging on what had happened while he was gone.

A quick trip to the room where Reginald kept his camera feeds ensured he was entirely up-to-date, including but not limited to the derision of his older siblings; even though they were all technically born on the same day, Allison and Luther radiated Older Sibling Energy, in thinking they knew just about everything all the time and were the favourites- and the rest of them were somewhat like forgotten middle or younger children.

Finding out that half of his siblings were virtually unworried about the fact that he had disappeared for three days was- honestly, expected. What Five did not expect, however, was Vanya being so curious and (dare he say) _bold_ in his absence; he had to play the footage of Allison and Luther’s faces when Vanya snapped back a good three times over to relish in it and regret that he hadn’t been there to witness it.

But after a night of fitful sleep, fragments of memories and half-made plans and equations drifting across his unquiet mind, Five was ready with a partially considered strategy for the day, the most important step of which was to jump to a coffee place before breakfast.

It was hazardous, but he was _not_ going to survive the day without it, so it was a calculated risk for the least amount of casualties.

Usually, Five would wait until after training or during a bathroom break if he was really desperate, because not only did Reginald Hargreeves have them under constant surveillance, but he hated coffee and didn’t stock it in the house, which was _infuriating._ But Five was adaptable and motivated enough to move a small mountain if it meant he could have just a cup of the drink Klaus had nicknamed ‘Five’s Temper Fixer Elixir’.

Unfortunately- for both Five and his siblings- he was diverted by their loud discussion about his activities. So now, they were all running late for breakfast, Five was grumpy and Vanya was all too ready to sink into the background again. 

Vanya had just wanted to go to breakfast, but Allison seemed to have decided there was no time like the present for a family heart-to-heart.

She rounded on Five. “Well? Where have you been?”

See, the thing about Five was, he was an asshole.

Perhaps this is best evidenced by when they were all hanging on his answer and he replied, “I can tell you where I _haven’t_ been, which is to get coffee. I’ll see you at breakfast.” And then, the bastard fucking jumped, leaving everyone waiting on him, with the biggest shit-eating grin.

“I hate it when he does that,” Ben commented and Klaus nodded.

“I can never tell whether it’s him or the weed.”

Ben looked in pain at that (they all knew how much he hated his brother’s addiction, but they were all entitled to their own coping mechanisms, never mind how unhealthy- and survival had to be more important than their wellbeing).

Vanya internally winced even as she smiled- because funny as Klaus was, each joke was tinted with sadness, as if to enjoy it, you had to accept that some things were unsalvageable at this point. She remembered reading once in a book that if you didn’t laugh then you were liable to cry and that it was better to be positive than negative- she never picked that book up again, she refused to believe the solution to all their problems was to simply smile because _fuck that._

Klaus was the most out-there of all her siblings- and accepting, sometimes when he walked past her room and she was practicing the violin he would dance along (and to watch him do the strangest mix of the Macarena and a waltz to Tchaikovsky was one of the funniest things she had ever seen).

Diego met Vanya’s eye and she could tell he felt similarly about Klaus. Allison and Luther looked uncomfortable, as they always did when someone (usually Klaus) drew attention to his drug habit. Vanya wondered at Five’s thoughts- he would probably try to convert him to caffeine rather than methamphetamine, but she knew he would try to support his brother best he could. 

It was unfortunate that none of the Hargreeves were truly sure what that meant, because they'd never been taught. 

Vanya started on her way downstairs, followed quickly by Ben and Klaus.

“So, Five’s back then,” Ben started.

“Yes, I suppose so,” Vanya answered vaguely.

“That’s good news. You seemed pretty worried,” Klaus said, surprisingly coherently.

Vanya hummed noncommittally- she couldn’t place why they were talking to her; it took 24 hours for her medication to fully stop taking affect, and the extra pill she’d had yesterday was making her a bit more disorientated and easily distracted today.

They reached the table, each standing behind their chairs as all the other Hargreeves children filed in, Five at the rear, with a satisfied smirk and claiming his seat that had reappeared overnight. Reginald marched in and gestured for them all to sit.

Vanya was nervous. Reginald hadn’t said anything to Five and there was absolutely no way there wouldn’t be punishment in store for his disobedience. She didn’t have long to wait. As her eyes fell on the crockery before her, she was almost physically repulsed by it.

Food at the Umbrella Academy wasn’t much to boast about- toast and porridge for breakfast, skinless chicken with peas and similarly adequate mediocre meals were served up on the regular.

But this, it- she wasn’t even sure what it was.

It was red, Vanya knew that much. Slippery too, with concerning lumps she couldn’t identify and a putrid stench that permeated the air rapidly, making her want to gag- it almost smelled like, well, _blood_. They all examined their food and then the grand Umbrella Academy seemed to play an intense round of mental scissor, paper, rock before Diego cleared his throat. 

“Mom, what is this?” he asked. 

“A healthy and nutritious breakfast dear,” she replied in a genial tone, and Diego gave her a tight-lipped smile as he directed his attention back to the bowl in front of him.

“This, children, is Vietnamese blood pudding", Reginald said, looking down his nose at them. "Since Number Five has shown such an interest in being well-travelled in time as well as places, Grace has changed your dining plan for the next few weeks.”

“Blood?” Allison mouthed, but didn’t dare say aloud.

Vanya thinks she felt her stomach heave slightly as Pogo appeared at their father’s right shoulder to seemingly answer Allison’s unspoken question.

“It’s raw blood, usually from a duck or a pig, mixed with fish sauce to keep it smooth and left to set with raw meat dispersed in it, then topped with onion and herbs. Quite the delicacy in Vietnam I believe, called in the common tongue tiết canh,” Pogo told them.

Everyone turned a baleful eye to Five, whose smirk had been wiped off his face briefly but now embraced more of a grimace as he started eating, keeping eye contact with his father as he forced down the first spoonful.

“Delicious. Thank you for the updated menu Father, we could all do with more variation in our diets.”

She really does wish sometimes that her family would keep their mouths shut.

_Why, oh why, would you do_ _that Five?_

Evidently, this enraged Reginald (which was probably-definitely- Five’s intention.

“Number Five, I expect you know you’ll be completing some extra training with me for the next two weeks. Do not think your intolerable behaviour has gone unnoticed, I expect a full report this afternoon of your activities.”

Five didn’t let his father see how this rattled him- he had expected the training of course, but the unusual punishment with food had thrown him off balance. He supposed Reginald struggled to find punishments since there was little Five actually showed he enjoyed and instead had settled for evoking general misery.

Vanya was a picky eater by nature, but had long ago learnt to keep down food she disliked and ignore her gag reflex. She hated porridge and yet every fortnight, without fail, there would be at least one day Reginald Hargreeves seemed to make a point of forcing everyone to eat it.

Vanya knew she couldn’t be the last to begin, lest she hear another comment about her ordinariness, so she was the next to pick up her spoon and start eating- or rather, letting it slide down her throat and tasting as little as humanly possible.

The others hesitated longer still and Reginald barked, “I thought you were the Umbrella Academy, but if an ordinary girl is braver than you- I must have been wrong about you Number One. Maybe Number Two or Three would like to be leader.”

It has been previously stated, and it will be again, that- in the politest of terms- Reginald Hargreeves is an unpleasant person.

In fact, he is the kind of individual you despise- the person who slimes all the way up the outside lane and then pushes in while everyone else waits in traffic, the person who puts a bag on the seat beside them during their transit to work on public transport in peak hour, the physical embodiment of when you stub your toe and it hurts and you know it's just your toe but it makes you disproportionately _pissed_. 

Usually, he would have been mildly more tactful, but he was losing patience and inciting Diego’s inferiority complex, Allison’s competitive streak and Luther’s protective stance of his position as Number One all in one go was an efficient way to speed up proceedings.

Five caught Vanya’s eye and smirked as the golden children scrambled to start eating. _She looked surprised,_ he noticed, _did she think I would just ignore her?_

Raising his eyebrow at her, Vanya looked down at her plate. ( _Nothing has changed,_ she reminded herself.)

Five knocked his leg with her own and she started slightly, glancing up quickly before realising the culprit and then averting her gaze.

(She didn’t look back up for the rest of breakfast).

————————————————————————————————

After Vanya disappeared after breakfast, the other six siblings began their studies. Each had a basic understanding of religion, various languages, science and history and were well-versed (to a certain degree) in geography, world politics and strategy, mathematics and English. Usually, Five found he could finish the work easily and then work on his own equations, or simply sit and soak in the feeling of not doing anything.

Hargreeves Senior, however, seemed to have decided that Five must have had too much time to himself if he had figured out a formula to time-travel, so his workload was tripled and he had not a second to spare with pondering anything other than his studies.

Lunch was not as formal as an affair as breakfast or dinner- the children were allowed to eat in the kitchen and to talk amongst themselves as they did so, before the Umbrella Academy went to training with Reginald and Vanya seemingly disappeared once more, assumedly to practice on her violin.

“Hi Vanya," Five said as he dumped himself on the chair next to hers.

Surprised, Vanya’s response came out more as a squeak than a sally. “Err, hi?”

It seemed her medication did not reduce her feeling socially awkward as self-awareness slammed into her at full force.

Five resisted smirking and tried the best form of small talk he knew.

“Enjoying your corned beef and liver pate?” Five asked sarcastically as he looked down at the offending food items.

“Well it’s your fault isn’t it?” Klaus chimed in as he sat down.

“How was I meant to know Dad would do this?”

“You have to admit, it’s a pretty creative punishment coming from Mr You Have Extra Trainings if You Put a Toe Over the Line,” Ben agreed. 

“I think Five did the hokey-pokey over that line, so I can’t say I’m surprised Dad’s trying to prove a point,” Vanya said absentmindedly. When she noticed the surprised looks from the three boys, she hid herself slightly behind the curtain of her hair.

Allison seemed similarly to have a bone to pick with Five as she sat down, stabbing her food with an unimpressed expression. “I can still taste breakfast you know.”

“You’ll be fine, it’s just a little bit of blood,” Diego dismissed as he ate his own lunch.

“I didn’t see you eating much at breakfast Diego,” Luther defended Allison quickly.

“Neither did you Luther-”

Their bickering split the table back into two groups and Ben remarked dryly, “There are worse places for blood to be than in your mouth- you could be covered in it for instance.”

Klaus laughed and Five tweaked his lips- coping in this house and with the knowledge of their missions was a never-ending battle to stop the barrage of memories.

Ben hated his monsters (maybe that’s why he and Klaus were so close, because they both loathed the powers they had and had to use them anyway. They never talked about their trainings or what it felt like to use them, but it was enough to know that someone else understood at least) but by nature and Klaus’ influence, he learned that it could be easier to put things in perspective rather than fixate on the experience- a lesson they had all learned, far too young.

Vanya felt only more out of place- she didn’t know how they could joke so easily about the missions they came home from bloodied (and maybe just a little bit broken). It was a good reminder though- _you don’t belong, they aren’t talking to you, you are not wanted._ It was enough to turn her insides cold and she ate quickly, not tasting the food or noticing the looks she garnered from Five, Ben and Klaus as she wolfed it down and stood as soon as she was finished.

Vanya kept her gaze down as she handed her plate off to Grace and vanished from sight once more. 

“Sometimes I think she wants to talk to us but then she just, closes herself off like that.” Ben said. 

“It isn’t like she doesn’t have a reason to,” Klaus mumbled, inclining his head to the other end of the table where Allison, Luther and Diego were comparing tattoos, arguing whose was bigger.

Five still remembers the day Reginald forced them to get those stupid tattoos- the pain of the needle was nothing compared to the way Vanya had looked; he’s pretty sure that incident had been the last straw for her, when she had completely withdrawn into herself.

There was a lot their father did to make her feel separate from them, but that had been permanent and irreversible ( _and_ _what a wonderful metaphor for their trauma at his hands, truly poetic in a prickish way)._

Five doubts he would ever forgive him for that, like how he would not forgive him on Diego’s behalf for fostering an inferiority complex merely to keep both Numbers Two and One on their toes; like how he would not forgive him for forcing Ben to release the monsters or Klaus to talk to dead people every mission; or even on his own part, for pushing him to unconsciousness.

Reginald Hargreeves has damaged each of them, and Five will not forget it.

——————————————————————

Five’s whole body ached.

Fitness and sparring were fine for the first two hours, as was advanced weapons training, but the last hour and a half of focusing and refining powers was hell. And then, he had an extra two hours lumped onto his session- which cut out any time for finishing off work or free time before dinner. He felt like his brain would bleed out his ears.

Again and again Reginald had made him jump further and further, reluctantly letting him go after he had given his account of his experience- mostly brushed off with a “Don’t be ridiculous, Number Five, there will be no apocalypse,” which caused Five to just about froth at the mouth before he was dismissed.

(Now he knew he would receive no aid from his father, who claimed the Umbrella Academy was the ultimate force for good, Five would have to work out how to stop the apocalypse on his own- off the minimal information he had gathered.

_Great_.)

All in all, he knew Reginald had gone easy on him, but that didn’t ease the burning in his eyes or the throbbing in his head. So, Five was weary as he trudged up the stairs, but upon hearing the notes coming from Vanya’s room, he didn’t think twice.

Vanya was playing her pieces now- she knew better than to stop once she had started practicing, because otherwise she would become aware of the aching in her muscles, the pain in her fingers. So she kept at it, gliding the bow across the strings- and so engaged she was that she didn’t hear the small _pop_ Five made as he appeared behind her, and sat on her bed to listen.

Five isn’t actually sure what makes a good musician, but he is certain that Vanya is one. As he watched her that afternoon, it was in the concentration she held, the obvious care she put into every movement. He leant his head against the wall and closed his eyes, letting the music wash over him and his muscles relaxed for the first time since he jumped out of his room this morning.

The music stilled however, when Vanya’s stomach grumbled loudly.

“What, stomach not happy with the new themed diet?”

Vanya swears she jumped a foot in the air and spinning around, she had her bow extended, as if to use it as a spear.

“What the fuck Five?” Vanya said, before she could catch the words, - and maybe turn them into something a little less directly from her stream of consciousness- relaxing from her fighting stance.

“Sorry, I always forget to knock,” he rapped his knuckles on the wall behind him, unperturbed. “What were you playing?”

“Just a sonata- why are you in my room? How did you get in here?” Vanya asked as she laid down her instrument carefully back into its case.

“How do you think I got in? I jumped.”

Vanya decided not to respond with something like ‘ _You shouldn’t be doing that; you’re going to push yourself too far’_ and instead asked, “Why?”

Five wondered at how to respond to that. ‘ _It was easy to get in’_ would be an omission, but ‘ _You’re fascinating’_ was just a little bit too truthful and ‘ _I was curious’_ was vague, and wouldn’t satisfy her once she noticed it wasn’t an isolated incident as he tried to become friends with her.

This was a problem Five hadn’t actually anticipated. He hadn’t considered that Vanya wouldn’t be receptive to his overtures of friendship or that she wouldn’t really understand or trust what he was doing. 

But Five was stubborn to a fault, so he opened his mouth to explain- when Grace called them all for dinner.

———————————————————————

Dinner followed in the theme of ‘Food Trends That Did Not Age Well’, this time drawing from the 1950’s.

Seafood aspic was a gelatinous mass, supposedly like a jellied meat broth with large lumps of the meat in question and a great source of amino acids.

It was also undoubtedly the weirdest thing Vanya had ever had served up to her for dinner. In fact, the entire scene was objectively hilarious- straight out of the magazines from the ’50’s as a mix of the nuclear family and an absurd boarding school, complete with a housewife and headmaster as well as children in full uniform and blazers poking the meal with their forks.

Weird as it was, she struggled to keep a straight face- despite all her assurances to the contrary, it seemed the day had been nothing short of unusual. Her siblings seeming not to look straight through her, Reginald making a jibe about Vanya being _better_ than them, Five trying to talk to her and the strange foods to boot.

On the matter of Five, Vanya was slightly bewildered.

If she didn’t know any better (which she did, she had to know better) she would almost think Five was attempting to talk to her directly. Which was unlikely for two reasons, a) Five never showed any interest in making connections with his siblings and even if he did, b) he wouldn’t pick Vanya to talk to.

And yet… he had jumped to _her_ room.

The greetings were out of character sure, though easily dismissed, but asking her about her music? Five didn’t go for light-hearted chit-chat. He didn’t actively seek anyone out- content in himself- and he didn’t mince words where a head nod in acknowledgement would suffice.

Vanya had been observing him for years (all of her siblings really) and everything he had done since returning had left her in a tailspin. At dinner though, he seemed to be back to normal, if a little withdrawn. He was quiet, ate quickly and waited to be dismissed.

While Vanya’s music may have soothed Five’s pain briefly, the evidence of his mortal toil re-emerged at dinner. The scraping of cutlery against plates against the droning of the record brought back the pounding in his temples in full-force.

Five struggled to keep the grimace off his face and once they were- _finally_ \- excused, he went straight up to his room and (though part of him protested) he worked on his equations. He couldn't rest now, not when he was the only one that knew and had to do something to stop the apocalypse. Five didn't have time for pain. So he squinted at his walls and ignored his headache until Grace came around to enforce lights out. 

And when he did fall asleep, it was with the knowledge that his headache would be gone by morning. 

————————————————————————

Five woke up to stabbing pain between his eyes.

(An important thing to note about going to sleep as a solution to a headache- rather than drinking water or eating actual food or taking pain medication to address the problem- is that if you wake up before it has time to go away, you’re kind of fucked.)

It was hot, far too hot, but once he stripped off his blankets the cold was biting. It felt as if there were now battering rams slamming continually against his skull and his head was so _heavy-_ when he lay down the weight dropped to the back of his head.

Usually when this happened- because Five couldn’t deny that it was an often enough occurrence that he would awake with a migraine or something similar- he would simply count until he lost consciousness once more and the pain would abate.

This time however, his mind was not so easily silenced.

Numbers from his equations swirled before his eyes- merging with those on the walls- and the need to check everything he had written screamed from within him ( _because it was his fault for time-jumping and now he needed to make sure everything he did was to stop the apocalypse_ ). It hurt to calculate the answers in this state and the questions kept changing, the pounding ache in his brain and the scrambled state of his mind combining to make a nightmare of an inner consciousness.

Five _knew_ it would do no good to think about it now. But he couldn’t make the thoughts disappear, they kept thundering around in his head and he wanted to go back to sleep (he got little enough as it was) but he _couldn’t._

He felt his stomach shift and bile rise in his throat. Cursing and praying no one else was already there, Five jumped straight to the bathroom.

Sitting cross-legged in the dark on the floor, Five lay his head against the cool tiles, trying to calm his unsettled stomach (because he _wasn’t_ throwing up this early in the morning, no matter the precaution he took just in case, having the toilet bowl ready) and the renewed agony in his head.

Jumping had been a bad idea, but it didn’t seem Five was in full control of his mental faculties as he tried to shut down the never-ending string of pronumerals, fractions, letters and signs that swam through his mind.

Unconsciously, he started to mutter, “Can’t make it _stop_ … negative two and take the quadratic but then the cube root means… hurts, stop- just make it stop- but if you add the reciprocal….”

Almost incoherent ramblings were drawn together with sighs or groans of pain- and _if only he could find a way to just stop thinking, just make it all go away._

Vanya was a light-sleeper by pure bad luck.

In a house where most of its occupants lived most truly at night- and very pointedly did so without inviting her to most sibling gatherings- it was unfortunate not to sleep like the living dead.

(She had heard enough from Allison and Luther’s rendezvous to last her a lifetime, Klaus snuck out to buy whatever he could get his hands on- often accompanied by Ben for protection- and Five was an insomniac at the best of times)

But for perhaps the first time, her tendency to be easily awoken came in handy. When her eyes blinked open, it was to the unmistakable realisation that something wasn’t right. Vanya zeroed in on the mumblings as she gently pushed open her door, following the noise to the ajar bathroom door.

Peering into the darkened room and struggling to see anything, Vanya switched on the light. The flood of stimulus was met with a groan from Five, still crumpled on the floor next to the toilet.

“Five? What are you doing?”

“Can’t make it be quiet. It won’t stop- I just want to sleep-“

His voice broke slightly on the last word- Five hadn’t slept for two days and he just wanted to fall asleep and wake up to find this day (this week, maybe even his whole existence at the Umbrella Academy) was just nightmare he was free from.

Vanya knew what that felt like. Some days, particularly after something bad had happened or she was stressed, she would struggle to contain her feelings, as her thoughts rebelled against the repression. Usually she just took another pill and waited for the numbness to sink in.

She flicked the light off- with a small sigh of relief from Five- and dropped to Five’s level. She didn’t ask if he was ok or if he needed help- she knew he wasn’t, and she knew he would say no- so Vanya didn’t ask if he wanted a friend.

She stooped as she slid an arm around his shoulder and pulled him up with her, getting deja vu to the previous night when they had been in a similar position. Once again, Five leant against her as she started towards the door.

“How did you make it here? You’re in a state,” she said under her breath, mostly to herself.

Five heard her and responded, “I jumped.”

Vanya just stopped herself from tutting but _really Five, you can barely walk why would you jump, you self-preservation-illiterate idiot._

“Not worried about catching Luther in the loo?” she joked as they hobbled into the corridor. 

“Thought I’d take my chances, best case either you or no one was in there,” Vanya wondered if that was meant to be a jibe at her being no one, but that wasn’t really Five’s style, so she was trying to puzzle out Five’s meaning when he continued. “Sorry, just a joke. Why are you awake though?”

He leaned back slightly (Vanya just barely keeping them balanced) and appraised her through a half-open eye.

(Somehow, talking to Vanya made it easier to forget he was in pain.)

“I heard you in the bathroom,” Vanya responded as she juggled holding Five up and opening his bedroom door.

“Why’d you come?” Five rasped, half falling through the doorway before Vanya caught him and guided him to his bed.

Laying him down, he looked muddled- as if he wasn’t quite in his right mind at the moment but knew it and was struggling to stay lucid. Vanya passed him a glass of water and forced him to drink it, picking his blankets back up and tucking them into the bed as he watched her, waiting for an answer.

Finally she said, gazing at his walls covered in scrawled handwriting, “You sounded like you needed help. And I was curious too, you’ve been weird since you got home.”

“That’s all? I sound like I need help and you come to give it?”

Five laughed, a bitter edge to his tone, as he thought about how the Umbrella Academy were supposed to be a force of justice, and all those people they would never help because they couldn’t afford the Umbrella Academy’s price-tag.

“You’re better than all of us Vanya.”

Vanya didn’t know what to make of that. Five wasn’t finished though.

“‘M not being weird. Just went to the edge of the world- realised if I’d died, there would have been some things I would’ve regretted not doing. Like being your friend- think we both need more of those.”

That took Vanya’s breath. No one had ever wanted to be her friend.

“Really?” Five opened half an eye and smiled slightly.

“Only if you stay with me and tell me what you’re thinking.” He said it in a half sarcastic way, but Vanya heard the sincerity all the same and so she lay back, urging him to do the same.

In a slightly awkward, stilted voice, she began to relay her thoughts to him; how she thought Reginald might have lost his marbles from the punishment he gave Five, how she thinks Pogo and Reginald probably ate an actual dinner before the children came down, how Vanya hadn’t seen it but they must have buffed the stab-mark out of the table while Five was gone.

It was nice not to bottle everything up for a change, hearing someone else laugh at the quips of her internal monologue. She talked more that night than she had the whole of the previous year.

“Maybe you can’t sleep because of time-travel jet-lag. Is that a thing?”

“No one has ever time-travelled before, so maybe. We wouldn’t know.”

“When did you travel to?” Vanya asked, before she could stop herself.

“I’ll tell you about it later. What are the other symptoms of time-travel jet-lag?”

As Vanya described his other ailments, and no-so-subtly hinted that he should do less spatially jumping unless strictly necessary until he got back his energy, Five lost himself in the calming tones of her voice and slowly drifted off, his mind now quiet.

—————————————————————————

When Five woke again, he was alone.

The morning had dawned and breakfast time was fast approaching- which Five faced with a salty attitude because it seemed he had made no progress with Vanya at all.

Coming down to eat, he made no eye-contact with anyone as another unappetising breakfast was served up. Suddenly, he felt a pain in his shin and he glanced up, half-ready to test whether looks could kill.

Vanya smiled at him from behind her spoonful of gruel and nodded to the table. When he looked, he saw no markings along the surface and as he met Vanya’s gaze, she gave him a wink.

And somehow, everything was looking a lot brighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to let me know what you thought, comment below! Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a fun one to write, let me know what you guys think! Thanks for reading

Five wasn't actually sure if Reginald was fucking with him or not.

Their diet had now veered firmly into the 1950’s and Grace was absolutely thriving with the foods from the era she was designed from. There was no way that what they'd been eating was ever popular- Five never knew the ’50’s to be both so gelatinous and artery-clogging all at once.

A week of that was more than enough- 21 meals of mayonnaise-slathered fish, or jellied beef, or whatever that unidentifiable muck was that they got served on Wednesday. Breakfasts had been drifting into ‘70’s territory and Five knew Reginald got some kind of perverse pleasure from the looks of horror on their faces at the abomination Grace had called ‘Ham and Banana Hollandaise’.

The idea of pissing him off was the only thing that made Five force it down and clear his plate with a toothy, shit-eating grin.

(And if Five had spent at least ten minutes in the bathroom scrubbing his mouth out and downing copious amounts of coffee to get rid of the taste, well, that was nobody’s business but his own.)

But Reginald’s punishment seemed multifaceted- for while Five would grin like a Cheshire cat and bear it out of pure spite, his siblings were generally less ( _openly)_ antagonistic towards their father. They hadn't had a decent meal since Five came home and they were less than impressed with that fact.

Five was hoping that might work in his favour; the food they had been eating wasn’t exactly nourishing, so his siblings didn’t have the energy to launch a full-stage attack. Though he had seen Diego sharpening his knives with intent, and Allison looked about five seconds away from leaping out of her seat and ripping his head off during dinner the previous night.

In addition, Five still hadn’t told anyone about where he had actually gone. At the current moment in fact, he was being vaguely tactful (which was an incredibly unusual approach for him), walking on tiptoe around his siblings so as not to set off any chain reactions that ended up with them attacking him. 

(He was 85% sure Ben wouldn’t join in on the rampage- 80% sure Klaus wouldn’t but sometimes the munchies hit him hard, so who was to say. Five was 90% sure Vanya wouldn’t- mostly because she wasn't as violent as the rest of them, but he _had_ caught her looking forlornly at the peanut butter jar in the pantry during lunch. Since the new punishment was all about food, that jar was being kept under lock and key, and Grace was extra-vigilant with not letting them have snacks before bed.)

Because while Five was certain he could take them, he would really love not to have to bother. He loved his siblings, but as a group they were difficult to deal with at the best of times- and hangry and feeding off each other’s rage was _not_ the best of times.

Speaking of not the best of times, the other half of Reginald’s punishment was beginning to weigh on him. Training every day was normal- the aches and pains of that Five could handle- but the extra two hours at the end of that session were nothing short of a battering.

Reginald had gone easy on the first day, by the second he was jumping from the top of the house to the bottom and back to the training rooms repeatedly, in whatever pattern Hargreeves told him. Then there were quick rounds with guns or knives- and if he didn’t jump at least five times during those exercises, an extra half hour was added on to the session time for every jump Five missed- before beginning the jumping again.

There was no clock in those rooms- and oh how he hated it. It wasn’t like they couldn’t afford a shitty $5 one or just relocate one of the ugly and ornate dark mahogany clocks that lurked all over the house. Perhaps knowing would have been worse, but the agony of uncertainty was excruciating.

Sometimes when he had extra training after his insomnia, Five would let his eyes slip closed as he jumped, not to see the flash of blue- as if it were not him that was actively moving through the universe, but rather he was a passive passenger as the universe moved around him. But then, his eyes would snap back open fiercely- Reginald Hargreeves would _not_ be the one to break him, Five wouldn't give him that satisfaction- and instead he would staunchly follow the man’s directions until he was released just before dinner.

Five was exhausted. He had no time to himself and any that he did have was whiled away at his equations- he had to get them right, get them _perfect_. (He knew it was only a matter of time before Reginald would begin to push him into time-travelling again and by God would he be ready for it). And as a result of his complete lack of free time, Five could spend barely any time with Vanya, which was irritating beyond _belief_.

It must be kept in mind of course that at 15, we are all dreadfully selfish, perhaps for good reason. Tired from learning and growing and having to figure out just about everything, every day and nothing ever staying certain or still for long, it’s easy to make excuses. To not make the effort when you know you should, because you’re just _so goddamn tired of having to fight every step of the way._

Five was tired, yes, but he knew that Vanya was shy- he would have to be the bolder one, the initiator in strengthening what was now a vague proposition in the air. Because yes, the intent was there but Vanya didn’t trust him yet- nor should she.

Trust was earned not given, and Five needed to spend time with her to earn it. Therein lies his conundrum. Before dinner he couldn’t summon the energy to do anything more than scribble at his calculations. During the meal, he’d still shoot looks to Vanya when the record playing says something stupid or to pull a face aside to her at the food or bump her leg with his own.

After dinner though, Five sat in Vanya’s room and asked her what felt like a million questions.

“Where do you go after breakfast?”

“I have my lessons, then lunch and then I practice.”

“What subjects do you learn?” Five's curiosity was insatiable. 

“English, maths, science and music of course. A little bit of French and Italian, enough German to get by… history and geography. And that one particularly memorable lesson on physiology from Grace,” Vanya grinned. 

He’d laughed at that one, recalling the afternoon in question when Grace had sat them all down and with no preamble whatsoever started into male anatomy. Almost entirely useless and woefully inadequate as a precursor to puberty, he can’t bring himself to regret the experience (it’s one of the few memories they share that can be laughed about, and he’d gladly shoulder that awkwardness again if it meant Vanya wouldn’t be so isolated).

“Favourite food served up so far this week?”

Vanya had to pause for that one. “The meatloaf was edible once you scraped off the mayonnaise and mushed peas. Spaghetti Jello was texturally traumatising but didn’t taste _so_ bad…”

There’s a lot to be said for a relationship where you share the deep things, but sometimes, learning the little stuff is what really adds up.

When Grace came around to hurry them into bed, Five slipped away again.

—————————————————————————————————————

Today’s session had been particularly gruelling. It had felt as if his chest had collapsed for a moment and one of his beloved headaches was teetering at the brink of his mind, trying to decide whether to ruin Five’s night or not.

As he lay in bed, the silence and darkness in his room seemed to fill the space, as if they were physical, living things. He felt his chest tighten slightly as he wondered back to when it had last been so quiet- _ash falling from the sky, an empty house and a broken legacy and a ringing emptiness that would never fade-_

Five sat up, swinging his feet out of bed. Before he knew what he was doing, he had teleported. He just wanted- just _needed-_ to make sure that he wasn’t alone, that everyone was secure. A quick survey of bedrooms made him certain that five out of six siblings were here and appearing in Vanya’s room, Five couldn’t stop that small sigh of relief that came from seeing her tucked up, safe.

“Five?” Vanya mumbled uncertainly, blinking sleepily.

“Sorry for waking you,” he whispered back, getting ready to jump, when Vanya caught him off guard. 

“Come here.” Uncertain, he hesitated. “Hurry up Five, I’m getting cold.”

He walked over to her and she pulled him down with her- the drowsiness getting the better of her usual reserve. Vanya knew he would have a reason for being here- Five had a reason for everything he did- but she couldn’t just outright ask him.

So they lay in silence, facing each other until Five told her, as the mild hysteria that had been rising in him started to quell, “It was just so quiet. I had to make sure you were here. That I was here.”

Five hadn’t told Vanya where he had gone to in his three-day disappearance, but he was waiting to tell everyone at once, so Vanya didn’t press him.

Instead she replied, “Sometimes, the silence is more overwhelming than anything else.”

(She never knew why, but total silence always felt stifled to her, forced. Vanya didn’t know if she could live without the noise, she had before woken up to a complete absence of sound and she thought it would drive her insane.)

Five hummed in response, but remained lying still, watching her. As if he were tracing every line of her face into his memory so he could never forget it. Vanya doesn’t know where her rush of courage came from, but she drew him closer to her and then guided his hand to her pulse.

“Do you feel that?” she asked and Five nodded, still ( _alway_ s) watching her. “Can you hear it?”

Once Vanya got the affirmative, she continued. “That’s my heartbeat. I’m here remember? You’re here,”

And maybe she was imagining it, but Vanya thought she could hear both their heart beats intertwining.

Five listened to the steady thump of Vanya’s heart against the beating of his own and he knew he wasn’t alone. He went to sleep with a smile on his face.

Vanya drifted off not long after. Right before she dropped off, she hazily realised she had forgotten to take her medication, since she usually took it straight after dinner but was distracted by Five. Her last thought was something along the lines of ‘ _I’ll remember tomorrow’._

—————————————————————————————

Slowly coming to, Vanya felt like she had been wrapped in the warmest blanket she could find. She didn’t want to move and wasn’t going to, until she noticed the breathing of her so-called blanket.

Eyes flicking wide open, Vanya realised that somehow during the night, she and Five had become a mess of limbs, so entangled in one another that it was impossible for one to move without the other noticing. She paused for a moment, once this became apparent to her, observing her companion.

_He looked so much more content in sleep_ , she thought. Awake he was a sight to behold, a live wire and with one of the shortest possible attention spans for things that didn't interest him- but here, he was peaceful.

His piercing gaze remained closed, and his eyelashes (so delicate, which was a very un-Five-like word to use) which she never noticed during the day rested against his sharp cheekbones, leading down to his angular jaw. The usually neat hair was entirely ruffled by sleep and it was that which made Vanya laugh, because she had never seen him look so disorderly.

Upon waking to the light sound of laughter and being met with a giggling and almost glowing Vanya, Five gave a lazy grin as he took her in, looking so light (as if she had no worries, but also as if she were a physical embodiment of sunshine), if only for a moment.

Then she seemed to gather herself as she told him, “You should probably go before Grace catches you in here.”

He nodded and disentangled himself from her, standing to be ready to jump when the door handle started to turn- _shit_. Quickly, Five jumped, as Grace entered Vanya’s room with a smile to remind her that she should be getting up.

Vanya only nodded, trying to slow her heart-rate from how close they had been to getting caught. It was only once Grace left that she allowed herself to flop back onto her bed and let the hastily pasted on smile fall back into her genuine grin of giddiness.

Suddenly, there was another blue flash of light and Vanya looked up, surprised. Five leant down, kissed her forehead and murmured, “Thank you.”

And then disappeared again before she could stutter out a ‘ _You’re welcome’_.

Her heart was racing and her face was flushed, and a warm feeling threatened to spill over in her chest. Vanya let out a small exclamation before she regained hold of herself. She didn’t have time to be sitting on her bed or feeling strange.

Vanya shouldn’t be feeling at all.

She took two pills from the bottle and downed them quickly with water.

(But she couldn’t wipe the glow fully from her face)

Landing back in his own room, Five leant against the wall, trying to sort through the mess his brain was making right now. He wasn’t quite sure why he did that- he had known that he wanted to... but _why?_

It seemed however, that was a question to ponder later, as he caught sight of the time and began hurrying to get ready for breakfast, already unconsciously wondering at other ways to make Vanya blush like that.

(Five hated to depend on anyone else but maybe, with Vanya, it wasn’t so bad.)

———————————————————————————

Five wonders how long they would have gone in a similar pattern of days, if it weren’t for the SPAM.

That morning when they were served up SPAM as breakfast, that was a new low- Grace hadn't even tried to prepare it. As soon as Five caught sight of it, he knew they couldn’t go on like this, a sentiment his siblings appeared to echo when, following another silent and stiff meal, Allison damn near throttled him. 

“Five if you don’t make Dad feed us some actual food so help me God-”

“L-like Dad w-w-will c-c-care,” Diego tried to assert back but he wasn’t confident this time and his stutter prevailed.

“Just tell him you’re sorry Five, then he’ll ease up on everything.”

Luther, Five felt, had absolutely no grasp of reality, other than simply wanting to please his father. It was vaguely sad really. Though he supposes they all look for Reginald’s approval in one way or another, craving the attention if nothing else.

“Begging to Reginald won’t do anything. It’ll just mean he knows his punishment is working so he can enjoy it more.”

“Dad’s not unreasonable, Five-”

Five snorted derisively at this- and he suspected that not even Allison could suppress rolling her eyes. No one except Number One still seemed to be under the rose-coloured glasses impression that their father was logical or reasonable. They may know he was not entirely sane, but that did not diminish the desire to be accepted by him.

(Because in a house where loved is given and told of sparingly, any affection was to be coveted; and what more do we all want than to be loved- even if we search for it in the wrong places?)

“We haven’t eaten properly in a week Number Five and it’s your fault,” Allison interrupted. 

“What, do you think I’m enjoying this? It’s not like I can stop Grace from serving up these monstrosities,” Five retorted sharply. 

“ _I don’t care_. Just fix it or I’ll rumour you into not being able to teleport,” Allison threatened. No one looked surprised at that- Allison loved to dangle her power over anyone who annoyed her. 

“Ah yes, the big, bad words of Number Three. You know what _I_ heard a rumour of? That you’re a cop-out,” Five snapped back. “You’d have to catch me first anyway. But I-shockingly- agree. Tonight seems like as good a night as any for a family dinner, wouldn’t you say?”

Ben caught on first. “Eleven o’clock, by the fire escape?”

“W-won’t Dad s-st-still be here?”

“He has a meeting tonight,” Five responded, relaying the information his father had given him when he told him that they would not be able to do additional training today.

Klaus grinned broadly. “Does that mean he’s not coming to dinner?”

“No, it means we’re eating earlier,” Luther frowned.

But even that didn’t stop Klaus’ infectious happiness as he nudged Ben, “You owe me a donut by the way.”

“That’s not fair and you know it Klaus, it’s not a done deal yet,” Ben replied. 

Quizzically, Five was about to ask what they were on about, when he decided it was probably best not to know.

——————————————————————

Whenever Reginald Hargreeves wasn’t home, the Hargreeves children usually took the opportunity to break curfew with littler chance of actually getting caught. And, usually, Vanya would hear them go (and try not to taste the bitterness in her mouth that only served the reminder, _you are not wanted and no one cares)_

So when she heard they would be eating dinner early, it was a mild mix of relief and dread that flooded through her. Vanya ignored thinking about it, trying to concentrate on her studies and then her practice- but the weight tugging down her gut never really did disappear.

(Because as much as she tried to tell herself that she didn’t care and shouldn’t keep getting hurt by people who obviously didn’t care about her, she couldn’t help it. Pills may numb the pain, but it was a wound that was reopened every moment she lived in this house, which didn’t allow her any time for healing.)

Coming down to dinner, she was alone waiting until her siblings arrived together all from training- _not wanted, not a part of this, you are ordinary._ (And why is it that ordinary is the worst slur she knows?)

Reginald followed them in, so while they were all more subdued than perhaps they would have been, the camaraderie between them was still obvious. It was in the way Allison smiled at Diego, how Luther jostled Ben as they came into the room, how Klaus and Five both couldn’t contain their grins at some secret joke- it was the invisible bonds that they carried between them.

(Trauma bonds people in a way that cannot be replicated, and while Vanya couldn’t envy their having to risk their lives and train so hard, she just wished she wasn’t always an outsider looking in.)

She kept her gaze down- she didn’t need to see it in their eyes when they remembered that she existed- and sat as directed.

Vanya doesn’t remember what they ate for dinner that night- no doubt something revolting, but she could stomach it. Five knocked her leg but she didn’t look up. When he tapped her knee, she started slightly at the unexpected touch but made no eye-contact. That only made Five more determined- _she wanted to ignore him? Good luck with that._

He kept his hand on her knee and traced patterns on her leg, lightly writing her name and drawing spirals and lines and tapping all the time. He could tell he had her attention, if a tad reluctantly, because her eyes were fixed on a point on the table and chewed robotically. Yet she still didn’t face him.

Once they were finally excused, Vanya hurried upstairs.

Five didn’t know what had happened to Vanya, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to let her get away with trying to run from him- not when he didn’t even know if he’d done something wrong.

So he teleported straight to her room and waited until she came in distracted, closing the door quickly and breathing a soft sigh of relief.

“Hi Vanya.”

Her shoulders slumped. She doesn’t know why she expected anything different. Spinning to face him, her voice was tinged with sarcasm. “Bit of an invasion of privacy, Five.”

“Well I had to tell you that we were going out tonight,” FIve said, shoving his hands in his pockets. 

“Yeah I figured, you guys usually do when Dad’s out. Don’t worry, I won’t rat you guys out to Grace or Pogo.”

“You don’t want to come?” Five asked.

“I don’t get invited to Umbrella Academy things remember? No one wants me there.” Vanya murmured the last part, almost completely free of bitterness.

Five shrugged, “This is your invitation. You’re a part of the Academy, Vanya.”

She didn’t say anything, just fixed her gaze on the ceiling.

“I want you there,” Five admitted softly. “I’m going to tell everyone about where I went, and it would be nice to have a friend.”

Her heart lightened. Someone wanted her there- she had a friend, she was wanted. Grinning, she looked at Five, who looked a little off balance at being so vulnerable. 

“When do we leave?”

————————————————————

Climbing down the fire escape wasn’t particularly glamorous- it was shaky and looked vaguely spindly in fact- so Five, being the loving and caring brother he was, jumped to below it to watch his siblings carefully scale down it and offer no aid. Klaus- being the one who most often used it as an exit- was first down and he commentated to the others as they came down, giving each of them scores. 

“Ben coming down in record time. Ooh, careful there Luther, that shake is going to cost you a few points. And Allison is looking in good form- oh she’s missed the rung, no wait, good recovery from Number Three-”

“Shut up Klaus,” Diego called as he started to climb down.

Vanya climbed out after him.

“And Luther maintains a solid three for his effort, Diego is shaping up to get a five and Allison is looking to be a six… and Vanya Hargreeves comes out of nowhere, scales the thing like a gymnast- perfect score!”

That got everyone’s attention. Vanya was smaller than the rest of them, lighter too, and she descended with ease on the rickety structure. Upon setting her feet on the ground, Vanya gave a quick glance to all her siblings before moving next to Five and sending Klaus a small smile.

Luther looked confused, Allison was vaguely irritated and Diego was impassive about Vanya’s presence. But Klaus gave her the biggest smile and threw an arm around her shoulder, casually tossing a knowing look to Ben. Ben himself wore a fond look, lightly shaded with some resentment but happy as Klaus’ other arm wound around him.

“Are we ready?” Klaus asked. He didn’t slur this time and his eyes were alert (because maybe this was something he would want to remember) as he pulled Numbers Six and Seven down the street with him, Five keeping in step with Vanya.

Five looked over at Vanya and she met his eyes with a smile. He offered his arm to her and she linked it through hers, grinning just a little bit wider.

“So, Vanya darling, tell us all about your music,” Klaus prompted and Vanya grinned a little as she started to talk.

They must have looked quite a sight in their mismatched clothes- jeans and shirts and whatever else they had managed to scrabble together for nights like these. Trundling down the street in an unwieldy group where their laughs broke the silence of the cold night air, grins plastered on their faces as they revelled in their freedom. The looks Vanya is sure they attracted must have been ones of disbelief or perhaps condescension.

(But Vanya didn’t care because she was warm from the inside out and finally, it felt as if she might belong.)

———————————————————————

Sitting down in Griddy’s always felt like a blast back to 1950, but after the week they’d had with food from that era, Vanya was only be relieved that they serve donuts- and donuts done well.

Almost as soon as they walked in, Five’s posture relaxed at the smell of coffee and Vanya watched him down two cups in quick succession.

“That’s not healthy,” she whispered.

“And? Nothing we’ve been eating for the past week has been healthy, at least this will give me energy.” She rolled her eyes and leaned a little into him, stealing a donut off his plate. “You could just get one for yourself you know?”

“But it tastes so much better when I steal it,” she bantered back lightly, biting into the donut as she did so.

Their siblings were in similarly high spirits, and it was only after they had eaten about 30 donuts between them that they were satisfied, and Five judged it to be time to fill them in on his adventures. 

Taking a big sip of coffee and then wiping his mouth, Five cleared his throat. “So, when I was gone, I time-travelled to the future.”

That was a quick and sure-fire way to make his _very_ chatty family shut up.

“What?” Diego half-choked on his donut. 

“So you finally got your equations right?” Ben asked, fascinated. 

Klaus said, “When did you go to?”

“Does Dad know about this?” Luther- predictable as ever- always searching for Reginald's approval. 

Five waited for them all to shut up again before he could actually answer the questions. 

“I jumped to the apocalypse. No, I didn’t get the equations right, I almost got stuck on the edge of the world. And then I jumped back a little to what I think was the world ending. And then when I told Dad, he told me it wasn’t going to happen. I only just made it back, I’m lucky I only lost a couple of days,” he admitted, taking another swig of coffee as his siblings processed that.

“So what does the end of the world look like?” Klaus joked vaguely. 

“Like no one is there and all the rubble is on fire,” Five deadpanned. But Vanya heard a slight tremor under his seemingly confident tone that told her he wasn’t being as nonchalant as he tried to make off.

“Why are you t-telling us this?” Diego asked. 

“Because I’m going to stop the apocalypse. And I want you all to help.”

“All of us?” Vanya questioned before she could stop herself. 

“It’s going to take the full power of the Umbrella Academy to stop this," he responded grimly, looking her in the eye. 

“How can we help? Do you have any leads?” Ben queried. 

“Not yet. I don’t have much to go off but the date,” Five said, frustrated.

“Well, when you do, we’ll be behind you,” Klaus, in a moment of clarity, assured him.

The rest nodded, and Five felt just a little bit less like he was fighting the world on his own.

————————————————————————————

As they slipped back out into the night, Vanya walked with Five. “So the apocalypse, huh?”

“Yeah."

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really. It was just so- I don’t think it’s properly hit me yet. Everything was gone Vanya. Everyone. And I’m the one who stumbled on it so I’ve got to fix it, I’m the four fucking horseman. Just- fuck,” Five sighed. “It feels a bit like I’m underwater most of the time.”

He didn’t add ‘ _except when I’m with you’_ but he wondered if she could tell that’s what he was thinking. 

“Does that make any sense?”

“More than you know,” Vanya muttered.

Five didn’t want to think about it now- not when they were out of that house and it felt like they could be free of everything that chained them down.

He changed the subject instead, “What do you mean?”

“Just my meds. They- they’re to control my anxiety, so they generally make me feel _less_. It’s a bit disorientating. But sorry, this isn’t about me.”

(Sometimes, she would wonder what would happen if she didn’t take her medication.

She knew- she _knew-_ it was helping her, that it made her more herself, safer to be herself. Sometimes though, she would think viciously that she felt more herself when she didn’t take it, and let the emotions overwhelm her- because when Vanya felt things, oh how she felt powerful. Scared about what she could do, but the feeling she could accomplish anything- it was intoxicating.

Vanya knew it was selfish and wrong. She shouldn’t crave that loss of control. Your emotions weren’t meant to rush through you like that, overriding logic and tinting everything in their different shades, colouring every interaction with their varying hues.

Were they?

The medication was to help her- to make her better.

And yet, sometimes she wondered.)

“Hey, I didn’t ask you because I didn’t want to know. You know me better than that. So don’t apologise Vanya, you’ve got nothing to be sorry for.”

Five didn’t often know the right thing to say, but he knew Vanya didn’t need to hear platitudes or questions (even if he was curious about this medication that was seldom discussed but always the first thing to be brought up when Number Seven reminded her father that she existed).

He noticed her jacket and then frowned as he saw her hands out in the cold. “Why don’t you put your hands in your pockets?”

“They don’t make girl’s clothes with pockets. Then they’d be useful, that’d be _ridiculous_ ,” Vanya sassed as she blew on her hands, rubbing them together to try and warm them up. 

Five didn’t refrain from giving her a good natured eye-roll but he reached out and took her hands, putting one in the oversized pocket of his jacket and taking the other between his own before drawing her attention away on a new tangent.

(Five was glad she couldn’t hear how fast his heart was beating.)

(Vanya hoped he didn’t see the blush that stained her cheeks.)

They walked that way for a while, until they were a block away from the Academy. The feeling of oppression began to stain the air and each of the children seemed to physically draw in on themselves as they braced to go back to what they had to do to survive, until they got another free night.

All except Number Seven.

Vanya instead gently pulled her hands out of Five’s and challenged, “Race you to the fire escape?”

“That’s petty and juvenile-” Five began.

“What, you scared, Number Five? Don’t think you could beat me?”

“I could _easily_ beat you but-”

Vanya didn’t hang around to hear the rest, she was off like a shot hollering, “Last one to the fire escape is rotten SPAM!”

“Dammit that’s not fair and you know it!” Five called as he broke into a sprint after her and his siblings followed suit, competitive streak flared one and all.

Just before Vanya reached it- having a fair headstart- Five jumped next to her and slammed his hand on the wall first.

“Cheater,” she told him but her tone was light. 

"What, and starting without warning is so fair?" Five shot back as Vanya shrugged, grinning. 

And Five doesn’t think he’s ever seen anything as beautiful as Vanya then.

Standing in a ratty coat with her hair windswept and knotted, the cold night air having whipped a flush into her pale cheeks and as she panted slightly from her run, her eyes sparkled with unmistakable wisdom and life. The golden street lamp cast down its yellowish light and the moonlight lit up her smile. The red of the brake lights from the traffic dashed across her face and she was easily the most gorgeous thing he had ever imagined.

“I’m pretty sure it’s physically impossible for SPAM to be rotten you know,” Five breathed- cursing himself for his voice sounding so weak and not having the courage to acknowledge whatever it was that his thoughts meant.

“Not our problem, looks like Klaus and Ben are going to tie for it.” Vanya flashed her teeth at him, in a reckless sort of grin that you have when you feel like you’re invincible.

Sure enough, the pair arrived together, congratulating Vanya and Five on their tie- which Klaus looked elated at.

So crawling back through the window they weren’t wistful or maudlin as they had been on the street. Instead, they climbed in beaming and thinking about the next time they would go out.

Luther and Allison pecked each other on the cheek before parting and Vanya could have sworn Allison shot her a wink, but it was hard to say. Klaus and Ben bid them good night and Diego disappeared as well, while Five walked Vanya down the hall, who was suddenly overcome with tiredness.

Just before he left though, Vanya grabbed his wrist and whispered, mindful of Pogo and Grace, “Thank you for inviting me Five.”

He gave her a soft smile and murmured back, “Thank you for coming Vanya.” 

Slipping into her pyjamas and then into sleep, Vanya didn’t realise she had forgotten to take her pills again. But maybe, just maybe, she was happier than she had been in a long time.


	4. Chapter 4

_Just three more days_ , Five reminded himself as he dragged his body up the stairs. _That’s achievable._

The following overcast afternoon, it was looking a lot less achievable.

“Number Five,” Reginald barked, as his siblings left after an already long training.

Five just managed to contain an eyeroll. “Yes, Father?”

“It’s long past time for you to be able to apply your powers to others.”

No preamble, no heads up- Five couldn't recall Reginald ever having mentioned it before (so _why_ would he have practiced it) but he wasn’t surprised that his father would expect Five to master it in five minutes.

“Who am I going to try to jump with?” Five asked, rather than point out all the other flaws in his plan.

“I’ve enlisted Number Seven to assist in this exercise, as she is the only one who can spare the time.” An underhand jab at both Five and Vanya, he wouldn’t expect anything less from the old man.

Vanya came around the corner looking nervous and far more subdued than Five was used to seeing her. She stood next to Five (with a distance between them, far more than last night when they were sitting shoulder to shoulder on her bed as Vanya read aloud the most recent book Five had acquired for her), eyes cast down and her demeanour seemingly as unobtrusive as the rain lightly pattering against the windows.

“Well, we don’t have all day Number Five, take her hand.”

Glancing at her first to check if it was alright- but with Vanya still not looking at him- Five took her hand and squeezed it gently. He looked to Reginald as he felt an answering grip- Vanya’s hand was small and warm, and he could feel her calluses from playing the violin brushing against his own from fighting and handling weapons.

(Two different hands for two different lives, and yet despite the differences, there was something about how the two distinctly individual experiences could just _fit_ together.) 

He noticed she was shaking slightly- Five supposed the idea of travelling through space via teleportation was a scary one if you hadn’t been doing it from your crib. He wished he could reassure her, but there was nothing he could do with their father watching.

(If Reginald caught even the slightest whiff of the idea that Five cared for Vanya, he would stamp it out or worse, use Vanya against him next time he- inevitably- defied his father.)

Instead, he gave a smirk that he hoped looked more confident than he felt and started to try and modify his equations.

———————————————————————

It turned out to be easier than he expected to change the calculations. All he had to do was switch out the constant to be their combined weight rather than just his own, and then all the other numbers were adjusted accordingly to the new factor. He _did_ have to be wary that they didn’t both appear in the same exact space, which he found after accidentally forgetting and having Vanya land on top of him.

(He grunted at the impact that sent him falling to the floor and then the weight which kept him pinned down. Vanya looked to be completely bewildered at how she had managed to end up practically lying on Five but she quickly scrambled to her feet and offered Five a hand up- ignoring the fire suddenly ignited in her cheeks. She helped him up as he murmured apologies before taking her hand and trying again).

The hardest part really was keeping a control on both of their bodies and consciousnesses so that they arrived together at the same place. The first few times he only teleported himself because he physically couldn’t get a hold of Vanya as a body of mass in the universe.

It got a little easier the more they practiced, but it took a lot of energy to move them both, as if he were trying to drag the two of them through a strong current rather than just him riding alone on the current, choosing when to get off.

Nevertheless, Reginald seemed satisfied at the end of their session, and let them go without too much trouble.

“God I’m so sorry Vanya. He’s never even mentioned that, I didn’t know you’d be pulled into this. Dad is such an asshole.”

She lightly rested her hand on his arm to stop his rambling. “It’s fine, Five, I’m the one who said yes. How are you feeling anyway?”

“Fine. He didn’t go too hard this time but it took a lot more energy to be moving both of us- don’t even _think_ about saying sorry-” Vanya’s mouth clapped shut with a ‘ _clop_ ’ and Five plunged on. “What did you think of it? Jumping through space I mean.”

He was a little nervous of the answer. Five had never taken anyone through that plane of existence with him, flashing through the fabric of space in a blaze of blue. It was a part of himself that he’d never really _shared_ and he wondered what Vanya would think of it (he’s pretty sure she was the only one whose opinion he would care about anyway).

Vanya didn’t know how Five did it. Pulling not just himself but also her through a completely different dimension, the movement alone made her head spin. Though that may have been the overwhelming smell of rain in a storm (the raw smell of the earth and the dirt) that Five always faintly smelt of- though it was mixed with coffee in Five’s case. At least now she knew why the scent always clung to his clothes.

But despite all that, she couldn’t help but grin as she told him, “It was brilliant. Thank you for taking me with you.”

Vanya knew Five didn’t do anything he didn’t want to do- if he wasn’t comfortable with taking her into his space, he would have just wasted time with Reginald and borne the punishment. The fact that he had taken her with him into a place that he never took anyone- especially when she was _ordinary._ Five had a way of making her feel special, like she was extraordinary, even if it was just with a touch of his hand, the look in his eye.

The same look he gave her now, with the broad grin he so rarely let break through that lit up his boyish face with delight.

“I’m glad,” Five replied and Vanya felt her stomach flip.

The sun came out from the rapidly disappearing clouds almost as quickly as the pair left the training room (and their worldly troubles) behind.

————————————————————

Five breathed a silent sigh of relief once his two weeks of extra training were finally over. Reginald Hargreeves was a cruel taskmaster, and though Five could handle it, it didn’t mean he relished in the additional aches and pains.

But now, he also had the upside of getting to see Vanya more often- as he discovered that his busy mind could concentrate on his equations best when he had additional stimulus, and Vanya’s violin playing was wonderful to listen to. Every afternoon he would come back up from training to sit on her bed and listen to her play.

It was a peaceful harmony; Five would work and ask her questions in the breaks between pieces while Vanya would sneak gazes at Five when her attention strayed from her score. Usually, the music came fairly easily once she had learnt the notes, and then she could simply fall into it and be amazed by her muscle memory if nothing else, as she practiced for hours each day.

Today however, something was off.

A series of quavers, a quick fluctuation onto a G and then drawing up into quick leaps and slides of the semiquavers. But every time, her fingers would fail and trip. 

Vanya growled in frustration as she made the mistake again. “I can’t get this part.”

“You will, just step back from it for a moment,” Five said, looking up from his book.

He admired her profile as she scrunched up her face in irritation, creases present across her forehead.

“No, I need to keep practicing, Five. I have to get it perfect. Go back to your room if you don’t want to hear it,” Vanya snapped as her annoyance took the chance to be vented at something else.

Five teleported away.

Vanya ignored the feelings growing in the pit of her stomach- the regret and sick sense of satisfaction her consciousness seemed to take in that, hissing in her ear, saying ’ _See how quickly he leaves you? He probably didn’t even want to be here.’_ She gritted her teeth and forced herself to play it through, but her fingers misstepped. Anger rose in her, hot and fast, and she began again.

( _Had Vanya taken her pills this morning? She couldn’t remember…_ )

Over and over she played it, always just not _quite_ right and she would jump right back into it- as if re-starting quickly would erase the fact that she needed another try in the first place. She got more and more irritated as she kept missing it, disproportionately enraged at this single musical phrase with _stupid_ articulation. Vanya was almost vicious in her execution, swiping her bow across the strings and pressing against them with heavy force.

A ferocious wind was starting to boil outside and the trees began to thrash against her window. Vanya lost herself in the savage symphony of her violin and the tempest brewing outside, more and more incensed with every stroke she took, every wrong note she played.

Until finally, a hand stilled her bow.

Surprised, she looked up to see Five.

And his arms were overflowing with books, various junk food items and the thickest blanket Vanya had seen in her life.

“Leave it Vanya, just for a little while. Come back to it when you aren’t so flustered.”

“You came back,” she said dumbly, not understanding.

“Of course,” Five replied and smiled, as if it were never in doubt.

She let him pull her away from her stand and sit on her bed instead. Handing her a piece of chocolate he asked her, “What’s really bothering you Vanya?”

See the thing was, Five had been nice to Vanya. He had been very nice in fact, but Vanya couldn’t help feeling a little worried. Nothing _nice_ ever lasted for Vanya.

So it was her natural disposition to be cautious, feel him out a little- though she was finding that she needed to remind herself now (almost reassure herself that she was still alone, because then at least she wouldn’t hurt anyone else with her unavoidable ordinariness). It’s not like her relationship with Five was that different from her other siblings.

Pulling him in from outside after time-travelling attempts? No problem.

Putting him to bed after horrible nightmares (either in his own or in hers)? Yeah, she would have done it for any of her siblings.

Sending eye-rolls across the table, small smiles at breakfast, sarcasm at lunch, knocking knees at dinner, sitting in his room for hours or him in hers- being able to talk but also sit in silence- touching and talking more than she ever imagined she would be comfortable with? Well...

What scared Vanya more than anything was the idea that she would care about Five and he wouldn’t care the same way in return.

She loved all her siblings, in the obligatory way that you sometimes do love family- you can’t really recall how, but they’ve had a place in your heart as long as you can remember.

Sometimes it was all too easy to forget- when Diego was just a little too blunt; when Luther was just a little too uninterested; when Allison couldn’t seem to bear being in the same room as her; when Ben was busy; when Klaus was spacey; when Five was gone. She knew they had other places to be, other things to do- that she was just the unimportant seventh sibling of the Umbrella Academy.

(It didn’t make it hurt any less.)

But some days, when they included her, and Klaus danced to her music and Five asked if she could play and Ben tempted her into the library with the promise of discussing books, Vanya’s smile couldn’t be hidden. She couldn’t imagine a universe where she didn’t know them, where she didn’t want for their acceptance.

Vanya could handle the rejection from her siblings- if only just. But with Five, it was different; he had always been different.Even before he tried to become her friend, that little bit of positive interaction was what she lived for, the little happinesses and the hopeful appeal of ‘ _what if’_.

Five was cut from the same cloth as her, Vanya knew that. He would laugh at the same things she did, he worked just at hard at his equations as Vanya did at the violin and he would never admit it to any of their other siblings, but when the nightmares woke him late at night, he sought her out.

But Five seemed so different, because he had a level of confidence Vanya could only dream of.

Five would seek her out, he would trust that she wanted him around (Vanya wished she could be so certain in the same way, so that she could go to him when the monsters inside herself won’t be quiet). He would rather stuff his emotions ten layers deep than talk about them, but he showed them. In every action, in every breath, every intonation and line of his body was coloured with these emotions that he felt so fiercely, so unabashedly.

(Vanya wondered if she’d ever have the confidence to take up that much space).

He was just like her. Their brains worked in the same way, they moved in sync- almost in each other’s orbits, an equal give and take. But to Vanya, it always felt like Five was more than she could ever be. And how do you tell him that you’re scared you can’t trust him- because to open yourself up to that would be a whole new world of pain.

But Vanya _knew_ that it was too late. She was falling as soon as she opened that door and saw him, maybe even before, when all they shared were secret looks and quiet intent. But then he cared and he listened- Five was gentle with her in a way that she had never imagined, watching her with tenderness but awe (and she didn’t know it yet, but Five wondered if there was any way he could make a moment last an eternity because with Vanya, an eternity couldn’t be long enough).

So it was too late.

She loved Five, she has always know that for sure, but more than she had for anyone else. In the way that made her feel warm under his gaze, that made any spot he touched burn a little but send shivers down her spine, but also in a safe way- in that she knew that no matter what happened, Vanya could come back to him and sit and talk or cry or just sit and maybe it wouldn’t be fixed but it would be better. Five was a fire to the weary soul-traveller Vanya found herself to be, he was the place you dream of even when you are far away on grand adventures because you know your heart will always return there.

Five was Vanya’s home and that made the darkness of the Umbrella Academy held in those four walls just a little lighter to bear.

And Vanya wondered if it wasn’t the house that made them miserable, but that they had made their own personal hells out of each other- and if so, if Reginald hadn’t been abusive (because she asked Five to look it up when she read it in one of her books and with the things he brought back, Vanya’s pretty sure that nothing about their relationship with their father is healthy), the kind of home they could have made here.

So when Five asked her what was bothering her, a million things raced through her mind. Her irritation was forgotten, anxiety and thoughtfulness and a sense of contentment rose in equal measures. All these thoughts- pre-conceived and considered, filed away and pinned to other tangents so she wouldn’t forget her place- flashed in an instant in her mind.

Seeing Five there, on her bed with eyes curious and face open and all attention on her, it finally hit Vanya. She was all in. No matter the cost, she wasn’t letting this go.

But right now, sitting in this moment she was suddenly struck by the realisation of how lucky she was, to be alive, to be breathing. And to just keep breathing would be enough, if Five was with her.

Maybe it was that thought which emboldened her to say, “Nothing. Just- you’re my favourite, Five.” She smiled, a little nervously, as she looked away, taking a bite out of the chocolate he had proffered to her.

“Oh you say that now that I’ve brought you chocolate and blankets,” he joked but responded in earnest.“For what it’s worth, you’re my favourite, Vanya.”

(And Vanya couldn’t help but think that it meant just about everything.)

She urged him to talk to her about what had happened in training and so they slipped back into trivial topics- but now Vanya grinned wider and laughed longer, while Five let unformed thoughts trip from his lips and his confusion to show.

(Maybe together, they weren’t broken at all.)

———————————————————————

Allison wasn’t quite sure how to relate to Vanya.

They were the only two girls in the house but Allison was loud and demanding and needed attention on her all the time- and she knew it. Vanya was quiet, faded into the background and never seemed to want to be noticed. Where Allison read magazines, Vanya read music, and while Allison was closest with Luther and Diego, Vanya clearly favoured Five and Ben. Klaus was the one thing they shared in common, because the boy was vibrant and showy in a way that made everyone love him. 

It was little surprise then, that when they finally bonded, it was due to Klaus.

“I need to practice my braiding,” Klaus announced at lunch.

Allison shook her head immediately. “You’re not touching mine. Not after last time- you tried to cut it into layers!”

“It would have worked, it’s just hard to tell which part is which! Don’t _worry_ , this time I’ll be sober-”

“Wait, you weren’t _sober?”_ Allison asked, voice raising in disbelief on the last few syllables.

“It’ll be fine,” Klaus said dismissively. 

“You can paint my toenails,” Allison compromised. 

“But I still need to practice my braiding!” Klaus whined, looking around for another victim before his eyes landed on Ben snorting with Vanya and Five up one end of the table. 

“I swear Dad looked like he was going to pop a blood vessel-”

“Why would do that, Five? Do you _not_ remember the food we were eating last time you monumentally pissed him off?” 

“But that’s half the fun-” Five drawled.

“You know, Vanya’s got nice, _straight_ hair…” Allison trailed off

“Hey Vanya, you got plans tonight?”

\-------------------------------------

Sitting cross-legged on Allison’s bed, Klaus braided Vanya’s hair while Vanya delicately painted Allison’s nails as they sat on the floor. She had the steadiest hands and she focused on painting the red exactly on the nails. 

“So, Allison, what’s going on with you and Luther at the moment?”

“Well I already showed you the locket he gave me, but I think he’s going to kiss me soon,” Allison said, fiddling with the necklace she mentioned before. 

“It’s taken him long enough- at this rate Luther and you won’t be the first couple in the house!” Klaus claimed, weaving Vanya’s hair in and out. 

“What? You got a suitor Klaus?” Vanya laughed, not understanding what he meant. “Everyone knows Allison and Luther have been a couple for forever, even if they haven’t made it ‘official’ yet.”

Allison was surprised at that. Vanya rarely directly talked to her- she had never really considered why. She knew she hadn’t been very open in the past, but Vanya was always kind- and maybe it was time Allison worked a little bit harder at bonding with her sister.

She squeezed Vanya’s hand and when she looked up, Allison gave her a smile. Vanya gave her a bright smile back, if a little uncertain.

“Oh, I’m not talking about _me_ , Vanya,” Klaus said, unaware of the moment which had just passed between the girls.

“Diego then?” Vanya asked, frowning.

“No, not Diego. Someone else…” Klaus drifted off meaningfully.

‘ _Oh Klaus,_ ’ Allison thought. _'T_ _his is Vanya. You’re going to need to be more obvious than that.’_

Thankfully, Number Three knew how to confirm rumours. “So, what’s going on with you and Five?”

Sometimes, subtlety had to be damned.

“Since he came home, we’re friends. W-why are you looking at me like that?”

“Oh my god, does she really not know?” Klaus whispered, fascinated.

“Know what?”

“Vanya, I’ve never seen Five look at anyone the way he looks at you.”

At Vanya's confused look, Allison elaborated, "When we all went out, he ran with you- anyone else he would have tripped them or jumped straight away, but with you he _ran_. That has to mean something. And at breakfast, you guys are _so_ obvious. He looks at you like you’re the galaxy.”

Allison smiled wistfully. (She liked Luther, but she knew he liked her in a different way than Five liked Vanya.)

“And he touches you. Five doesn’t let anyone touch him-“ Klaus added.

“-Can you honestly say you love Five in the same way you love me or Klaus or Ben?” Allison queried gently.

“I mean, Five’s my favourite. Of course we’re close. What are you trying to say?”

“Nothing. We don’t know what your relationship is,” Klaus reassured her, giving Allison a sharp look. 

“Sorry, just curious.” Allison apologised before adding, “You’re doing an awesome job at painting my nails, by the way.”

Vanya smiled and happily went along with the change of topic. Just before she left Allison’s room that night, two braids in her hair which she thanked Klaus profusely for, she finally asked Allison about something that had been bugging her for a while. 

“When we went out to Griddy’s, did you... _wink_ at me before we went to bed?”

“Oh yeah, you remember that?”

Vanya nodded, “I wanted to know why.”

“I just assumed, well, you and Five. I mean, even Luther didn’t walk me to my room but Five-”

“-walked me to mine,” Vanya murmured softly. She hadn’t given it a second thought.

“I don’t want to upset the balance you and Five have, but you just fit together. I’m not saying anything, just maybe think about it- maybe you’ll notice something.”

Vanya hummed lightly and Allison took the plunge with the olive branch. “And if you ever get bored of hanging out with the boys, you can always come to my room. We’re the only girls in this house, maybe we could learn to stick together?”

Allison didn’t really have much in common with Vanya, but maybe this was a good place to start.

“I’d like that.” Vanya responded and the grin that lit up her face couldn’t be mistaken for anything other than genuine. 

Sneaking down the hallway, Vanya was almost at her doorway when she noticed Five’s door standing open. _Oh no._

Vanya poked her head in and sure enough, Five- dressed in his pyjamas- was standing on his bed’s headboard, scrawling on the wall. Feverishly, he was muttering under his breath and Vanya knew he wouldn’t go to bed at all if he was left alone- _especially_ since it was after curfew.

“Five?” Vanya asked tentatively.

“Go away, Luther. I’m busy,” he said, not looking away from the walls he had ruined with all his writing.

“Five,” she said, walking in to place her hand gently on his wrist. “It’s me.”

Blinking owlishly, Five looked down at her. “Vanya?”

( _Five doesn’t let anyone touch him-)_

“Yeah. Don’t you think these walls are looking a little crowded?”

Five peered around the room, as if seeing it for the first time. "Huh."

“How about you come down and go to sleep, and tomorrow we can write all this down?” Vanya asked appeasingly, tugging him down slightly.

His brain was still a little fried from doing so much straight maths all at once and then switching back to interaction, but Five knew- even in this sleep-deprived and slightly manic state- that whatever Vanya said was right, and he should trust her.

He eased himself down and Vanya helped him into bed and he asked quietly, “Will you help me? With the walls?”

“Of course Five,” she smiled as if it were a silly question- because what else would she do?

“Thank you,” Five muttered and then continued before drifting off to sleep. “I like your hair.”

“Good night Five,” she whispered, and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead.

(And maybe she imagined it, but she could have sworn he smiled.)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is kind of a short one buuutttt I have been thinking about it since I started this story and could (dare I jinx it) signify the start of a plot. Radical I know. 
> 
> Anyway let me know what you think

Our language is full of pitfalls- the turn of phrase holds implications we cannot imagine. Case and point, ‘Are you okay?’.

What a stupid phrase. If you have to ask, no, they are not okay. No matter the intention- to honestly or politely inquire after someone- this phrasing turns it into a yes or no answer rather than an open-ended question.

Another helpful hint, if you have to ask if someone is okay, likelihood is that they don’t want to burden you- and so they’ll take the kinder route and say yes (because it’s so much easier than saying, _no and I don’t know why but I am not okay and I need help;_ the most commonly told lie is _I’m fine)._

When you ask, ‘Are you okay?’, it implies ok as being the standard of being, and remains undefined about where the line between okay and not-okay lies. It feels like more of a brush off question than one actually asking for an in-depth answer.

‘How are you?’ will yield very different results. Elaboration is expected, it’s easier to say ‘ _I don’t think I’m doing so great’_ because there is no pressure either which way.

It’s a mark of intimacy in a relationship if someone tells you they are in the best place when you ask ‘How are you?’, but it’s on another level entirely when you asks ‘Are you ok?’ and they say no.

“Vanya, are you ok?” Five asked. Since Reginald had announced they had a mission they were going on, she had been awfully quiet.

She tried to say distantly that she was fine, but she couldn’t get it out around the boulder in her throat that was making it hard to breathe. Vanya could feel the tears building up in her eyes and she dashed them with her hand. She knew it was ridiculous but-

“It just feels wrong. It feels like you’re leaving for good,” she murmured, not looking him in the eye as she fiddled with her clothes.

“We’ve done a hundred missions before-”

“This one feels different,” Vanya told him.

(The words she wanted to say stuck in her throat. The ‘ _don’t go_ ’. The ‘d _on’t leave me here, don’t abandon me’._ The ‘ _please don’t forget me_ ’. She couldn’t ask that of Five. He was the Umbrella Academy, he had to go out and be amazing and brave and risk his life while she stayed at home, waiting for them to return.)

Instead she gave a weak smile and asked, “Just, you’ll look out for everyone won’t you?”

“Of course. I don’t trust them to watch out for themselves,” Five replied flippantly.

“And you promise you’ll be careful?”

He heard the worry in her voice and took her fidgeting fingers, stilling them in his own. “Yes.”

“And you’ll come home this time?” Her voice broke on the word ‘home’ and only just managed to withhold _‘come back to me?’_.

He heard it all the same.

“I’ll always come back for you. You’re my favourite, Vanya.”

So even though she felt something twist in her gut, Vanya pushed it away as she wrapped her arms around him.

“You’re my favourite too, Five.”

And she prayed that she wouldn’t lose him again.

———————————————————————————

Vanya was practicing in the kitchen, listening to the news, unable to simply sit still.

_‘And the Umbrella Academy have just entered the building where 30 armed men have attempted to stage a robbery.’_

’ _It has been quiet for a few minutes we’re wai- BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG-’_

_’There appears to have been gunshots. We’re yet to see any of the Academy…’_

_’They have emerged from the building now- but it appears they are one member short. The spatial-jumping, science genius Five is still unaccounted for….’_

_‘…now appearing- sustained a stab wound… losing blood it seems..’_

Vanya felt the floor seemingly vanish beneath her as her whispering bad feeling crescendoed a roar. She thought she heard glass break as her bow squeaked sharply across the strings and a wind begin to lash her face, but she couldn’t be sure.

All she could think was, ‘ _Don’t leave me here alone’_

——————————————————————————

Five found himself seemingly covering everyone’s asses during the mission. With Reginald’s attention so surely focused on him, they had been allowed to slack off and it _showed_. Diego was rapidly running out of knives; Luther’s execution was sloppy at best and Allison couldn’t get close enough to rumour anyone.

Luther had made the call early on for Ben to unleash the monster, and while it had depleted the number of men significantly, Ben was now covered in blood and barely conscious, slumped against the wall. Klaus fought anyone within spitting distance tooth and nail, but he wasn’t sober and his movements and reactions were slow.

Five jumped to beside Luther, who was trying to fight two men at once- and losing badly. Five pulled a gun out of one of the men’s hands, sending a jarring punch to his solar plexus as he did so and then slammed him over the head with the butt of the gun when he doubled over. Then Five was off again, pulling knives out of bodies and hands to pass back to Diego and catch some of the men unawares.

Five managed to shove Klaus out of the way of an incoming bullet, only just dodging it himself, and was distracted only for a second. But a second seemed to be enough, as he felt something slide into his stomach. He rammed his fist into the man’s face and all too slowly looked down to see a knife protruding from his abdomen.

“Shit."

The Academy managed to rally and get all the men either unconscious or tied up ( _thanks for your last minute contribution there Allison_ ), but Five hung back a little to catch his breath, categorise the pain (the one in his head and the pain from the knife). He took a deep breath and let out a low groan as he pulled the knife from his body. With an animalistic grin, he returned the knife to its owner without wiping off the blood before disappearing in a flash of blue.

The thing about an open stab wound is that they tend to bleed. Rather a lot actually.

This actually ended up working in Five’s favour, as his father was less inclined to make him bleed to death on national television than he was to do it at any other time. Especially when the reporters were liable to point out every few seconds that he looked like he was losing a lot of blood and ‘ _should he be getting some medical attention Mr Hargreeves?’_

His father sent him- reluctantly- home, ordering Five to report to Grace immediately, while the other Umbrella Academy members handled the public image. Five didn’t hang around- he jumped straight to the Academy’s atrium and listened for where Grace could be.

He didn’t hear Grace, but he did hear some quiet sobs, floating in from the kitchen.

“Vanya?”

“Vanya, are you ok?” he called as he approached the room. Silence followed, and a few sniffles sounded.

“N-no,” a thin voice wavered from the doorway.

Five increased the lengths of his strides, picking up the pace, and as he turned the corner, he felt his stomach sink.

China lay shattered on the floor, glass of the windows cracked and splintered across the room as if it had been moved by a strong force in the action of braking. Food looked as if it had been torn from their shelves, drawers pulled open haphazardly and their contents littered around Vanya’s sunken figure (supported only by her leaning heavily into the wall) and there was a crack in the plaster that Five was sure hadn’t been there this morning.

“What happened to you Vanya? What happened here?”

“I-I don’t remember…”

When she turned to look at him, her face was littered with small cuts. Vanya held the aura of someone who was haunted- seen terrible things and either didn’t _quite_ recall them, or didn’t want to.

Then it broke, and tears started trickling out of her eyes and she murmured feverishly, rocking back and forth. “I don’t remember, I don’t know what happened, why can’t I remember? Why can’t I remember?”

He crossed the room as quickly as he could, still trying to apply pressure to his wound.

“You’re alright, you’re fine now,” he whispered into her hair as he slumped against the wall and pulled her frail figure against his, hoping to jar her out of the trance she was in- ignoring the pain flaring in his stomach and the blood that stained the hand he pressed against it to try and clot it (to no avail).

“Five? You’re here?”

“I said I’d come home, didn’t I?” Five said. But she didn’t hear him.

“Why can’t I remember?” she sounded so much younger than she was (and when we’re always trying to pretend we are more mature than we are, that is a terrifying thought)

“It’s ok, that’s ok,” Five crooned mindlessly, attempting to reassure her and get her breathing more steadily. “In and out with me, yeah? Just feel my heartbeat, I’m here- we’re both here.”

“Five, I’m scared,” Vanya whispered.

He held her closer.

“Five, your father said you needed a check-up,” Grace reminded him, appearing in the doorway. “Goodness, you have made a mess! I’ll clean it up when we come back from the medical bay.”

Five frowned. “What about Vanya?”

“Your sister is fine, Five, now come on, we must not dawdle!” Grace said with that same happily blank tone and an empty expression of friendliness on her face.

“I will take it from here, Master Five.” Pogo said, materialising behind Grace.

The pain in his abdomen was sharp and so Five reluctantly let himself be led away from Vanya as Pogo assured him everything would be fine.

(He doubted that. Five doubted it very much.

Because on his way to the medical bay, he couldn’t help but wonder why Grace hadn’t reacted to seeing Vanya in pain. If any of the Umbrella Academy were in distress, Grace was supposed to identify it and attempt to prevent it. Vanya not moving and being almost incomprehensible seemed like distress- and whatever caused it almost certainly should have fallen under the umbrella of ‘harmful things to protect the children from’. So why didn’t she protect Vanya or try to treat any of the little cuts she was littered with?

And on a different note, what had happened to the kitchen? That kind of destruction- Five had only seen it once before. Not so contained, sure, but the sheer recklessness and widespread damage Five recognised all too well.

But before he could wonder at how any of this connected to the apocalypse, the thoughts were swept away by the activity around treating his wound). 

——————————————————————

“You must take your medication, Miss Vanya. Your father wants you to increase your dosage. Take three for now,” Pogo told her, pushing the capsules into her hand.

Vanya’s head felt as if it were splitting in half, so she took the medication quickly and waited for it all to simply be easier to bear.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHhhh I can't believe this has more than 1000 hits!!!!! Everytime I get a kudos or comment I physically cannot stop smiling!! Thank you for all your support, this chapter is an interesting one so let me know what you guys think!

Five was lucky the knife hadn’t hit any major organs. Grace had stitched him up and he had to stay on bed rest for a few days, which was pure agony, because Five didn’t _like_ sitting still. He wanted to fight and jump through space and poke fun at his siblings and at least be able to _stand up_ or go and see Vanya.

Because that was another thing that was pure agony. Five hadn’t seen Vanya in three days- and going from spending hours together (during most of which Five found it hard to keep his eyes off her because she was _so fucking interesting with every little expression and exclamation_ ) to not seeing her at all, it was like trying to quit smoking cold-turkey.

All his other siblings had come in to visit.

Luther brought him the work he missed, Diego came in to ask how it actually _felt_ to get stabbed since he never had- which got him evicted from the room with a single glare- but both wished him a speedy recovery.

The real excitement though, came from the triple whammy, with Ben, Klaus and Allison all allowing themselves to be graced with his presence at the same time. They talked for several minutes about how Reginald was taking the fact that Five would be out of commission for minimum two weeks (badly) and whether or not they could sneak coffee into the house for Five without Reginald, Pogo or Grace noticing (unlikely).

Five sensed there was an ulterior motive to this visit and they had something to discuss with him, but until they did so, Five couldn’t help asking, “How’s Vanya?”

Five had expected eye-rolls, groans or possible ribbing with a _'_ _She’s fine Five’_

_He_ knew that _everyone else_ knew Vanya was his favourite. Five wasn’t exactly subtle, he didn’t hide the fact that he enjoyed spending time with her and that Vanya was the person Five most liked being around, but he didn’t shout it from the rooftops either. (But when Diego gave him that look after Five asked, that was a new low. If Diego knew, then everyone did.)

He did not expect the furtive looks they passed between them, the shuffling of feet and a sudden interest in the floor as silence fell.

Tentatively, Allison asked, “Why don’t you ask her yourself?” The fact that it wasn’t an answer, but a deflection, did not escape Five’s notice.

“She hasn’t come to see me,” Five admitted quietly. Vanya was his weakness, she made him more vulnerable than anything else.

“Well did you piss her off?” Klaus offered as a suggestion.

“No!”

“Are you sure? Because you’re a bit of an abrasive person Five, and you might have said something you didn’t think was-”

“Yes, I’m certain,” Five cut him off.

He had been considering it himself, but he couldn’t think of anything. No matter how hard he racked his brains, nothing came up that he might have said that would have offended her and that he somehow hadn’t _noticed_ offended her (as if he wasn’t almost an expert in reading Vanya from the smallest indications she gave because he had been studying her for forever).

The three shared another look, and this time, Five wasn’t distracted.

“Why are you looking at each other like that?” he said, brandishing his hand between them on the words _‘like that’_.

Ben chose his next words carefully, “Vanya’s been… different. Since you haven’t been around.”

“How do you mean _different?”_

“A little like she was before. She doesn’t talk- not to me or Klaus, not to Allison either. Not like when you were gone and she was interrogating me the whole way up the stairs, or when you came back and she started reaching out,” Ben started, but there was obviously more he wanted to say.

Allison stepped in. “But she’s worse now. She- before she was there, all of her, even if she didn’t always draw attention to it, but now… she- I don’t know how to describe it.”

That unsettled Five. Number Three always knew what she wanted to say; even if it wasn’t the right time, the right place, the right thing to say, Allison could always articulate it- her powers depended on it. But here she admitted she wasn’t sure of the words.

Vanya never needed saving. Five wasn’t her hero because he came in and decided to become friends with her. It didn’t change her. Knowing someone appreciated her company, liked her personality made her more confident, made her think that maybe she needn’t keep trying to hide herself away from all the good parts of life with other people.

Five knew that.

And he wouldn’t have her debased on the idea that she had needed saving and he had been her saviour. (And because he also knew she didn’t half need him as much as he needed her). He was about to say as much when Klaus jumped in.

“It’s almost like she’s empty. She just doesn’t respond- looks right through you, keeps on walking. Like a-” Klaus cut himself off, unable to say it.

“Like a ghost,” Five murmured quietly. The distraught and desperate girl he had seen when he came home had him worried for Vanya and hearing about this, it compounded on the bad feeling in his gut.

It was Five just wishing, hoping that if he said it then it maybe would be so when he told them, as levelly as he could, “Vanya would come to me if it was that bad. She’s probably just trying to convince Dad that nothing’s wrong and that we aren’t close because otherwise he’ll keep us apart. Plus playing down the whole kitchen ordeal.”

“What happened in the kitchen?” Ben asked, dubious about Five’s answer but curious at the mention of the kitchen.

“I don’t know. I just know that when I came home, it was a mess and Vanya was upset,” Five said, not wanting to reveal too much and betray Vanya. 

“When we came back nothing was wrong. Vanya was in her room because she had a headache and the kitchen was fine," Ben affirmed. "Do you really think Vanya’s alright? You are closest to her but…”

“I’m not sure,” he said, filing away the information that his siblings hadn’t known about the kitchen

(What did it all mean? It felt as if he were missing a huge piece of the puzzle and couldn’t nail it down to just one answer, like he had been given a jigsaw that he was told would make a flower but nothing else and was then left to try and put the pieces together in some hazy perception but nothing was fitting together.)

Five continued, “But I think I’ll pay a visit to Vanya to find out.”

——————————————————————————

“Hey Vanya,” Five said, appearing in her room.

He had been kept bed-bound for another few days before Grace let him go, being told not to push himself and that he wouldn’t have training for the rest of the week at least. Five’s thoughts on this were ‘ _fuck that_ ’ and upon being released, he jumped straight to Vanya’s room.

One of the key points in his and Vanya’s relationship, from the very beginning, had been that he would jump to wherever he knew he could find Vanya. She would somehow be surprised every time- jumping or giving a little inhale or, on one particularly memorable occasion when Vanya had been absorbed in a book, a shriek. Then she would lightly sass him about ‘ _P_ _rivacy Five, Jesus, heard of it?’_ to which he would probably reply something like _‘No need for airs, you can just call me Five_ ,’. And Vanya would roll her eyes and tell him not to do it again and then he would do it again without fail. It was a routine Five enjoyed, and one he knew she enjoyed too, so it was him that was caught off guard when she didn’t really respond to his appearance.

The second thing that tipped him off was the lack of a lecture on jumping and straining himself. Vanya always told him he shouldn’t be trying to push himself so much after training, and he had assumed that spatial jumping after a stab wound was likely to get him a bit of a stern reminder that he may be a superhero but his powers did not lie in super-healing. But nothing. In fact, it was only after Vanya had finished her piece of music that she turned to face him.

In all the time Five had been coming to watch Vanya practice he had noticed that she never started from the middle of the piece, she always played it all the way through and when she was interrupted, she would begin again so she could ‘ _get back into the swing of it_ ’. And indeed, she did swing slightly as she played- most musicians do, letting themselves sway to the rhythm and be carried away by the music.

It was small, not particularly exaggerated, but Five knew it to be her technique and yet now, Vanya stood with perfect posture and played exactly what was written on the score. By the time Vanya actually greeted Five, warning bells were already sounding in his head.

“Hi Five,” she said rather blandly.

The silence stretched a little, stilted and awkward in a way they usually never were with each other, until Five inquired, “So you’re feeling better then?”

“Yes. Just a migraine.” She smiled with no teeth and Five wouldn’t help but feel that there was no emotion behind it, not like the smiles she usually gave him.

Five decided test something. “What period is the piece are you playing from? Could you hum me the first few bars to see if I know it?”

“Oh,” she looked around to her music as if she had forgotten it was there. “I don’t really remember.”

Vanya would never forget a piece of music- she would hum it all day long and walk to its tempo and breath by its rhythms. She didn’t just play the music as notes in order and then forget it- Five knew that to Vanya (who had never been included and never really had anything that was her own) music mattered so much, every piece she played touched her soul and changed her to see something new.

Because that’s how they differed as people, where Five heard noise- beautifully executed noise, but when it came down to it, it was noise all the same- Vanya heard a story. (Maybe because she never really got to go outside, she had to find ways to see the outside from in).

Now though, it seemed she had forgotten.

Huh.

“Did you know that I got stabbed?” Five threw out bluntly, hoping for a reaction.

She blinked. A slight frown crossed her face, as if trying to recall something on the tip of her tongue, but then her expression just twisted into confusion.

“You never came to see me.”

Five meant for it to come out fairly unaffected, perhaps a little exasperated, but he never could control himself very well with Vanya, and instead it sounded weak and hurt.

“I must have forgotten,” Vanya said in a casual tone, as if she were talking about forgetting to send a parcel or that it was going to rain this afternoon. As if he were so unimportant that he could be forgotten just like that.

He swallowed thickly. “Are- are you ok Vanya? What’s happening right now?” Uncertainty crept into his voice.

“I don’t know. You came to my room,” she said absently.

Five didn’t know how to respond to that.

Standing in Vanya’s room, facing her as she stood and stared into empty space, Five was acutely aware of how he must have looked, standing there in his schoolboy shorts looking like his childhood sweetheart had just broken his heart. (And how that assessment wasn’t far off the mark.)

“Yeah. Yeah I guess I did,” he replied eventually.

Vanya didn’t respond. In fact, she didn’t look as if she had registered he had spoken, still watching that same spot on the wall with unfocused eyes

He teleported away. He didn’t hear her continuing to practice.

(In her room, Vanya hadn’t moved, and only did so when Grace called for dinner.)

—————————————————————————————

Something was wrong with Vanya.

Something was wrong and Five didn’t like it.

Five knew it wasn’t likely, but he didn’t want to consider the alternative; that there was something wrong with her and he couldn’t do anything to help, or maybe she didn’t even _want_ help.

So he came down to breakfast the next day praying with all his might that they would be able to smile at their siblings byplay and that it was just an off day.

She didn’t look at him. Even when he bumped her knee, Vanya chewed resolutely, looking at her plate. Occasionally, her brow would crease and she would seem to be confused, but then she would fall back into apathy.

He caught Ben’s eye and he passed Five a sympathetic look, which would have pissed Five off in any other instance if he didn’t actually need a bit of sympathy to acclimatise to… _whatever this was._

Because it seemed that this was going to be the new norm. Going through the day’s motions all of a sudden seemed even more illuminated for how stupid and redundant they were. Five struggled to sit still in class and he drove off the tutor they had brought in for teaching specialised military strategies with a few sharply barbed comments and a shockingly bad attitude.

Five got scolded for it later and then had his afternoon wasted on meaningless and trivial studies because he still wasn’t allowed to go to training, which meant he couldn’t even let out some of his pent-up aggression and confusion at the situation at a punching bag or in the intensive drills they did.

Nevertheless, Five appeared in Vanya’s room for violin practice at the same time as usual, like clockwork. He didn’t work on his equations, he just sat and listened and watched. They didn’t talk, not like usual, and Vanya barely acknowledged he was there. By the time he left, he had figured out a word to describe Vanya’s behaviour.

Vanya was vacant.

As if she was physically there but everything else was gone. As if everything that made her _Vanya_ had simply up and left and now he was left with an empty shell. Or maybe, as if her soul had gotten lost and her body was the unused house left but never returned to, the lights turned on, waiting for a person who would never come home.

And Five was confused. _So_ confused. What had changed from when they left on that mission to now? Was she actually fine and just icing them out?

It certainly seemed like it. But Five doubted it- Vanya was far more likely to talk about it than make assumptions. And by now, she would have talked to him because of his persistence in pursuing a conversation with her. 

Was she sick? It didn’t align with any symptoms or conflictions Five could recall and upon further research in the library later that night, nothing really stuck out about this kind of _vagueness._

(With Five watching her now robotic practices and Vanya paying him no mind, he had observed when Vanya usually took her medication.

Vanya was a small girl and Five began to take notice of the amount of pills she was taking. Three pills for a fairly petite and light girl didn’t seem right. So he decided to do just a little bit more research into it.

It was probably nothing, but Five always had been just a little bit paranoid about ‘probably’s. )

Five knew one thing for sure though.

When he asked Grace and Pogo what was wrong with Vanya, they both told him nothing. And Five knew that was _bullshit._ They were both his father’s servants- and he would do well to remember that. But beyond the fact that there was _something_ wrong and that Grace and Pogo were loyal to his father not the Umbrella Academy, he wasn’t sure.

Wasn’t sure what happened, wasn’t sure how to fix it, wasn’t sure how it happened, wasn’t sure whether Grace and Pogo hadn’t noticed or whether they knew and weren’t doing anything.

He didn’t know.

(He was always the boy with answers and now he didn’t have _any_ and it felt shitty. Like he had failed Vanya because he couldn’t figure it out.)

Five just didn’t know.

—————————————————————————————

“Vanya, can we talk?” Allison asked.

“Hmm?” Vanya didn’t startle but was pulled slightly out of her almost now eternal daze by her voice- Allison’s voice was the most penetrating of everyone’s, probably a side-effect of her aural driven powers.

Vanya found recently that she was struggling to remember what she was doing- what day it was, how she got here. It had always been a fight to stay aware of it, to be present in the moment with her medication because it was a little numbing at a two pill dose. But now- it was just so much easier to give in and fall back into blissful ignorance.

Sometimes headaches would hit her out of nowhere, and she would have to go and lie down until they abated. It was strange, as if there was a wall in her brain that if she pushed too hard at, it started to ache. Whatever was behind that wall that she couldn’t remember simply wasn’t worth all the hassle.

Once again, she found herself being drawn out of her state by Allison. (She wondered how long it had been since her other siblings had talked to her, for some reason she couldn’t pinpoint it. Hazy memories of someone sitting on her bed and laughter filtered through her brain, but the more she tried to hold onto them, onto those feelings, the faster they leaked through her fingers like tendrils of smoke). It was a bit like waking up in the middle of the night and having a muddled conversation that you couldn’t quite remember.

“Everything’s been a bit weird since Five got stabbed, I just wanted to check whether everything was ok?”

“Since Five got _what?”_ That was like a bucket of ice to her face. Vanya was suddenly more alert than she had been in- she couldn’t remember how long.

Allison was surprised at the shock in Vanya’s voice and the edge to it, as if upon hearing that she wanted to go and yell at the idiot for having the audacity to get hurt. She knew Five had already told Vanya he had been stabbed and she hadn’t responded- and it wasn’t like before that it had exactly been a secret. But from that reaction, it almost seemed as if this were the first she was hearing of it.

Vanya suddenly was hit by a tidal wave of memories.

_A rickety radio, slightly muffled but clearly heard ‘…sustained a stab wound…’_

_A sudden squeak from a violin_

Everything was muffled now, she couldn’t hear Allison’s voice, though her lips were moving.

_‘Don’t leave me here alone’_

Vanya reached up to massage her temples.

_A wind building and things flying through the air and crashes and…_

An ache searing through her head but the memories wouldn’t stop no matter how much they hurt, and her vision started to blur. 

_‘You’re my favourite Vanya, of course I’ll come home’ and ‘I don’t remember’ and ‘Five I’m scared’ and ‘You’re ordinary Number Seven’_

She let out a small exclamation as pain lanced through her mind.

“Are you ok, Vanya?” Allison asked worriedly.

_‘Are you ok Vanya?’_

_‘I-I don’t know.’_

_‘Are you ok Vanya?’_

_‘It feels different this time…’_

_‘Is she ok?’_

_‘She’s fine, Number Three.’_

Allison had no warning other than that quiet noise and the distress on Vanya’s countenance before she crumpled.

“Help! Help, it’s Vanya!” Allison called as she tried her best to pull her sister along with her down the hall.

Predictably, Five immediately jumped to Allison when he heard Vanya’s name. andBen and Klaus followed suit, coming out of the library when they heard the ruckus. But before they could do anything, Pogo and Grace appeared.

“I’ll take her, Miss Allison. Miss Vanya has been getting migraines and is adjusting to her medication. She just needs to lie down.”

The chimp took Vanya despite the children’s questions. Five was noticeably quiet. He was watching Grace.

She looked on, concerned at the children’s protests, and asked genially with a saccharine smile before heading towards the kitchen, “Would you children like some snacks? I’ll go make some sandwiches."

_Concerned at the children’s protests_ , Five realised, _but not for Vanya._

Allison was thinking along the same lines. “Why didn’t she try to help Vanya? Isn’t she programmed to be a caretaker?”

“Vanya must not be on her list,” Klaus said. At the questioning looks from Allison and Five, he elaborated. “The list of people Grace is meant to protect. Dad must have taken her off it, otherwise Grace would have taken Vanya, like she would have if it was one of you who were injured or sick.”

Five hated to think that it could be true, but it was _painfully_ on-brand of Reginald and would explain Grace’s response.

“So that means-”

“Grace doesn’t protect Vanya- if she sees that she’s injured, it wouldn’t matter any more than if she were fine.”

“How do you know?” Allison asked. Five had been wondering as well, but he already knew the answer in his gut.

Klaus laughed humorlessly as Ben gave a pained half smile. “We’ve been off her list for years.”

“At least, after training. Dad’s got a protocol enacted for post-missions so she can treat our wounds-” Ben interjected, trying not to make it sound so bad.

“Yeah, but all the shit he does to us in training is fair game," Klaus added bitterly. "Don’t look so surprised Number Three. This is what it’s like not being a favoured child.”

Number Six and Number Four’s powers were easily the most brutal. Because while Five’s caused him headaches and nosebleeds when he pushed himself too far, Five didn’t come home every mission with at least one broken bone, covered in blood and with a constant companion that he never knew whether he controlled it or it controlled him; Five didn’t have to struggle to keep the persistent whispers out of his head or scream in his sleep because the dead were far more horrifying than most believe.

Five didn’t come back from specialised training with Reginald crying or bloodied or haunted or broken (or maybe he just didn’t show it).

(They never talked about it, what any of them did with Reginald in training, but Five can assume Klaus and Ben have it the worst.)

Number Five may be a part of the despised children, the younger children, but it was by choice- and if he had wanted to, he could have easily usurped the golden kids, because Reginald might dislike him, but Five had power to push back.

But Klaus? Ben? Vanya?

Reginald held their fate in his hands, and none of them had powers to fight him with.

Five hadn’t known about the list. Suspected something along those lines, perhaps, but he hadn’t been sure. He knew he wasn’t good with emotions, but he wanted to say sorry- that he hadn’t known, that it had happened in the first place, that it had come out like this.

Instead he said, “Dad’s such an asshole.”

Five was pretty sure they understand what he meant all the same as Klaus laughed, breaking the tension.

“That he is,” Ben agreed, before adding in a more curious tone. “I wonder why Vanya got taken off though.”

“And why Dad didn’t tell us. If it was a status thing he would have told us all about it to try and isolate Vanya,” Allison pointed out.

Five decided to think on it- and to watch and wait to see just what exactly was happening to Vanya.

—————————————————————————————

Vanya was in the weirdest state of limbo with consciousness. She didn’t feel actively as though she were participating or interacting with anything, and in rare moments of clarity, she felt as if she were a sleepwalker, waking up out of bed with no memory of how she got there.

Confusion and forgetfulness fogged her brain- her limbs were numb, and her mind was sluggish. Tiredness dragged at her bones and she felt to be in a constant state of quite simply existing, though she wasn’t sure on what plane. One cloudy and and unclear day blended into another and her perception of time disappeared.

She processed all this through her now slowly moving brain in a detached way for the most part. While one part of her brain fought madly against the oncoming haze, majority surrendered to it.

Vanya had found herself most aware- and so most disorientated- just before she took her pills again. Abstractly, she tried to remember what she was taking them for- she could grasp onto the memory of Pogo telling her that her new dosage was three before breakfast and three after dinner, but everything else was a little bit blurry.

But she knew that they were to make her better, and so Vanya did as she was told and took three pills each time, disappearing once again under the wave of emotional and psychological paralysis.

—————————————————————————————

Five couldn’t actually figure out what was in Vanya’s medication.

Nothing was written on the outside- no chemical compounds named, dosages or scripts, it was simply an unmarked bottle filled with pills.

A quick jump to look into the records showed no sign of a prescription ever being given by a certified doctor so Five was almost certain it was a Reginald Hargreeves concoction.

In an effort to work out the ingredients, Five was doing research in the library every night- supplemented with reading material also from the public library on what is usually put in anti-anxiety medication that’s prescription (because Reginald Hargreeves library was surprisingly sparse on a subject that he should definitely have if he was making Vanya’s medication). Five's insomnia was getting worse now that he couldn’t go to Vanya, and he couldn’t rest when his brain was constantly working on the problem.

Five might be used to functioning on few hours bad sleep, but it wasn’t like he was a pleasant person to deal with when he did. A scowl was permanently etched onto his face and his reliance on caffeine was now bordering obsessive. He was sharp and sarcastic and the bags under his eyes were a deep purple- he greatly resembled an underpaid middle-aged office worker in an unsatisfying desk job. The only time his cutting attitude dropped was when he was with Vanya and then Five looked haggard, worn thin and old.

Simply put, Five could not go on like this.

It came to a head one night, a few weeks after Vanya’s retraction into herself, and Five was in the library looking through his research past curfew. All work on his equations had completely stalled while Five’s attention was solely on the Vanya problem.

“Five? What are you doing?”

“Research,” he said shortly.

Ben slipped through the door and closed it quietly. “Is this about Vanya?”

Five didn’t answer, still flicking through the books, underlining in one and then cross-referencing with another book.

Ben, taking stock of the room and recalling Five’s state questioned, “How long has it been since you actually slept?”

He didn’t respond. Ben sighed. His brother would deny it to his grave but he cared so much more than he usually let on and he would work a problem until it was done or until he had worked himself to the bone.

“You know she wouldn’t want you to do this, right?”

“What?” Five asked, head snapping up.

“She wouldn’t want you to wreck yourself over this. Would you want Vanya to see you like this?”

“She’s not gone Ben, she’s seen me. She doesn’t care,” Five ground out. 

"You don't really believe that though, do you?" At Five's non-answer, Ben went on. “We both know there’s something going on with Vanya right now. But when she comes back to us- because _she will,_ whether it be because of all your research or something else- she is going to lecture you about not taking care of yourself. I know you’re worried but there’s something else going on here, so do you want to tell me what’s going on or should I let the tentacles carry you to bed?”

Five’s jaw set and Ben thought he was going to snap.

“I- I miss her," he said, but then he had so much more to say that he couldn't stop. "I miss talking to her and just listening to what she plays and what she thinks and being able to look at her and being able to tell she was thinking the exact same thing as me. For one of the fist times in this horrible place I wasn’t just thinking about survival and getting out. She made it bearable and now she’s gone. She’s still here, physically, but everything else- everything that really mattered? Vanya’s gone and I don’t know how to fix it."

"You don't have to fix it," Ben tried to say, but his brother wasn't done. 

Five snorted, shaking his head even as he snapped his book shut. "None of these _so-called_ medical books talk about anything like what Vanya’s been doing and I’ve got no idea what could be in her medication so I can’t tell whether that’s the problem. I can’t _do_ anything and it feels like shit.”

Five getting sentimental was a clear sign that he was both very upset by this and that he was _very_ sleep deprived.

“I know it’s not really the same, but I think I know a little of how that feels.” At Five’s curious, non-accusatory gaze Ben continued, “Klaus can be the same sometimes. When he’s self-medicating. Like he’s here but it’s not really him. He just turns up the parts of his personality that he thinks are the most fun and tries to forget everything else. Difference of course is that Klaus is still himself, just not really all of him while Vanya isn’t herself at all. And it is shitty. You want to help them but you don’t know how to.”

Five nodded slightly in agreement.

“I can’t tell you what’s going on with Vanya or how to fix it. But you can’t help much if you’re dead. At this rate, Five, you’re going to work yourself into the ground- and if you do, Vanya’s going to raise hell when she’s back. Because she will be back.” Ben looked to see if he was getting through to Five. “It’s 1am now. Are you going to go to bed or stay up?”

Five sighed. “Vanya would kill me if I didn’t listen to you, wouldn’t she?”

“Yeah, she would. Come on, turn out the light and let’s go.”

—————————————————————————————

So Five was in better shape now- which meant that he had enough energy to make marginally more rational decisions, including the one that he should investigate the start date of all this madness.

Spatial jumping to where the cameras were kept (and ignoring the twinge in his stitches because it _wasn’t important right now)_ was easy. Reginald had become complacent and rarely checked the feeds, so Five was 80% sure he would be fine to go there and 90% sure all the footage would be there. He checked for the tape of the kitchen the day of the mission, and apparently it had _conveniently_ not been recording that day.

Five would call bullshit, except he wasn’t technically meant to be in there, so it probably wasn’t his place to take on Reginald about the invasive nature of all the recordings and yet _not_ having the ones he actually wanted to see. But as he was rewinding through that particular day in Vanya’s room, he noticed a few missing minutes, marked by the fact that Pogo suddenly appeared out of nowhere. No sound was recorded, but he gave Vanya something and Five was uneasy.

Taking a recording from the day prior and the day after, he compared what Vanya was doing. Both were relatively the same- though the one after had Vanya staring into space a lot more and she didn’t interact with anyone. It took him until his second look through for details that he noticed the dose Vanya was taking of her medication. He went back further to cross-check the ‘before’ tape and looked through the video from today to be sure, but now he was certain.

In the last two weeks, Vanya had started taking three pills- even though before that she had only ever been taking two. And he could pinpoint the change to the day after the mission, when Vanya had become distant.

Five might not actually know what was in those pills, but he knew that three was too many to be taking twice a day. All his research had said that for children- or someone with a particularly small build- they should be taking maximum two pills of any medication in one go, and even then, only if they were heavier and metabolism faster.

_‘Adjusting to her medication_ ,’ is what Pogo had said. Which meant that he had _known_ that Vanya was taking too many, he had seen the effects it was having on her- the headaches, the confusion, the complete lack of _Vanya-ness._

And Pogo had done _nothing._

According to the books Five read in the library, overdosing on medication could lead to lifelong detriments, including addiction, a comatose state or death.

_And Pogo did nothing._

Five couldn’t put into words how pissed he was when he realised this.

But as much as he wanted to, he wasn’t going to confront Pogo or Grace- they were merely his father’s instruments. Five couldn’t confront Reginald either, or he would do something even more horrible.

(It was a sick, _sick_ realisation that Reginald had knowingly put Vanya in danger like that. It was easy to lose perspective over the danger the Umbrella Academy faced on a daily basis but in their home, Vanya’s life was at risk because of the man who was supposed to be her father.

Reginald Hargreeves was a cruel, twisted bastard and Five loathed him all the way to his core- he hated that he did a little bit, because that is exactly what Reginald would do, all the man knew how to do was live and loathe and that was what he taught his charges.)

————————————————————————————

The next morning, Vanya felt as if she were forgetting to do something before breakfast. Her mind was muddled and her medication pulled her back into indifference.

However, it was that subtle but persistent feeling which tugged at the back of her mind all day. She couldn’t put her finger on it.

That night, she realised what it was. She couldn’t find her medication anywhere. Vanya looked all over her room but to no avail. Confused and mildly bewildered, Grace distracted Vanya with curfew and she forgot it all once again.

Waking up the morning after, Vanya felt like she was coming out of hibernation. Her joints cracked and muscles relaxed and the sun shined through the clouds outside, brighter than she could ever remember.

Speaking of memory, she couldn’t recollect what she had done the day before. Nor the day before that, nor even the date. In fact, the last thing she could recall was the Academy leaving for a mission and a few indistinct memories that made her even more confused. That worried her more than a little, and by the time she was going down to breakfast, she was very on edge.

Sitting at the table was more agonising than ever before, especially with Five tossing anxiety-ridden gazes her way, which was absurd because Five was never anxious. When she met his eyes and she raised her eyebrow in a question and mouthed ‘ _What happened?’_

Five looked shocked before a grin lit up his face. ‘ _I’ll tell you later.’_

(In his shorts pocket, his hand tightened round the bottle of pills and he thanked whatever it was that was listening out for them that had meant his plan to bring Vanya back had worked.)

Ben let out a short exhale at a thud under the table, and when he met Five’s eye (to glare at him for the solid kick he sent his way), he inclined his head towards Vanya. Ben then hit Klaus, who passed the message down to Allison.

And Reginald Hargreeves was hard-pressed to say how, but he now was sitting at a table full of grinning teenagers

(And when Five reached out for Vanya’s hand this time, the relief he felt at her answering grip was enough to make him laugh over the record playing.)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm. Yes. Well. This is a chapter. I'm not sure what else to say- a lot of dialogue and I can't tell if I'm repeating myself or if I just think I'm repeating myself because it exists in my head but not on the page. Who's to say?
> 
> On the bright side, the one thing everyone seems not to be running out of at the moment is time so give it a read and let me know what you think!
> 
> Comments absolutely make me update faster and kudos make me smile

Five couldn’t believe it had worked. It was a half-assed plan at best, though he did have a solid theory backing it. Perhaps a premise was more accurate.

Five had a premise. And he had been _fairly_ confident that this premise was a sound one. But he couldn’t put into words how relieved he had been when Vanya had looked at him with alert eyes and acting as if the past few weeks hadn’t happened.

The link between the medication was obvious, when he had taken it out of her room and she stopped taking it she was aware. Confused, tired and a little irked at not recalling anything, but not anywhere near where she had been. Five was ecstatic and just barely could contain his elation.

Yet, they still had a few things to clear up between them.

Bringing Vanya up to speed was vaguely difficult because they still had to keep up appearances. Five didn’t know why his father wanted to keep Vanya medicated but he sure as hell knew that Reginald couldn’t know she was aware again- which meant that they couldn’t let Pogo or Grace notice otherwise either. It wasn’t until later that night after dinner that they were finally free from expectations and he could sit down with Vanya to talk about everything.

Vanya had one of the more _stressful_ days of her life, upon waking up with no memory of the last few weeks and only getting told by Five as they were leaving breakfast that he would “explain later” and to just “act as if you’re a daydreaming toddler and can’t think to do anything for yourself”. Usually she would be quite offended, and she had no idea what was going on, but it was hard to be annoyed at Five when he looked so elated.

It was only once they sat down that Five realised, he had virtually no idea of where to begin.

“What do you remember?” he asked carefully, not wanting to trigger a headache.

“I remember you guys leaving for a mission and I decided to listen to the radio to hear what was happening. And after that, pretty much nothing until I woke up this morning,” Vanya replied. 

“ _Pretty much_ nothing?” Five wasn’t sure whether he wanted her to remember him sitting on her bed every day, hoping that she would snap out of it, or glad that she would never see him like that.

“I mean, a few weird half memories. The clearest one was Allison telling me you got _stabbed_ and obviously that didn’t happen so they’re all probably a little dreamlike," she finished with a slight shrug but when Five didn’t respond Vanya wanted to be sure. “That didn’t happen, right?”

Silence. 

"Right, Five?"

He failed to meet her gaze. 

“Five, tell me you didn’t get stabbed.”

“It wasn’t so much a stab _per se_ -”

“Oh my god, you idiot, I thought I told you to be careful!”

After managing to assure Vanya that _yes he was fine,_ and _no he didn’t need to lie down,_ and _yes it was ok for him to jump,_ and _no of course he hadn’t risked his health in any way, shape or form during his recovery_ (at which a passing sibling had snorted but then fled before they could be apprehended for questioning by Vanya and murder for betraying him by Five), Five finally managed to get out the story of the last few weeks.

Vanya interrupted every now and then (with something like _why wouldn’t you get your wounds looked at first, honestly, Five, it’s like you_ want _to die from blood loss_ when he admitted that he didn’t immediately seek out Grace) but for the most part she stayed quiet, wrinkling her brow in contemplation.

“So I was taking three pills? Why would I do that- I’ve never done it before. If I was as bad as you said, I wouldn’t have just randomly decided to change my routine.”

“I think Pogo might have had something to do with it- when I was looking through the tapes it seemed like he was keeping a pretty close eye on you. But he’s probably acting for Dad… I’m wondering why now though.”

Not following, Vanya frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Six pills a day is ridiculous yes, but even four pills is excessive. I think you’ve been overdosing for years. But why would they up the amount _now?"_

"It sounds like I had a panic attack in the kitchen maybe that’s why," Vanya pondered aloud before asking, “Wait, years?”

“I think so.”

Five got up and started pacing. Something didn’t add up. A panic attack? It didn’t feel right- it was an easy answer, just a little bit too easy, too conveniently assisted by all the migraines. And when something felt too easy, it was almost always cause to look for the strings.

“Will you do something for me Vanya?”

“What?”

“Don’t use the pills. Just stop taking them. At least until we figure out what’s going on.”

Vanya shook her head. “That could be dangerous, Five. What if I get another attack and I go on a rampage like what you saw in the kitchen? I could hurt someone!”

Five wondered whether gently reminding her that she lived in a house full of highly-trained superheroes would ease her mind or make it worse.

Five sixed her with his piercing gaze. “Taking that many pills _is_ dangerous, Vanya. Having that much of anything in your system messes with your body chemistry. We don’t even know what’s in them! Didn’t you once say you wondered whether you really needed them?”

“Well yes, but it’s not like I know what I’m talking about, Five,” she gestured her hand impatiently.

“These pills aren’t from a doctor, they’re from Dad. You’ve got to admit, he isn’t a trained health professional-”

“Neither are we!” Vanya could feel herself getting worked up. She knew Five was coming from a good place, but she had been on the medication so long that going off it could affect her in ways they couldn’t predict.

Five took a deep breath. He understood what she was saying but all the same….

“Look, I know I can’t tell you what to do. Obviously it’s your body and your decision but you _can’t_ take three at a time. It’s not safe, Vanya.”

Vanya was about to reply that she could do _whatever she damn well pleased thank you very much, Five_ but then she caught the look on his face. He was worried- no, more than that. Five was _scared_. For her. She felt herself softening by degrees but in an attempt to stave off the inevitable level-headed discussion, she clung to the emotional side of things, curiosity finally overwhelming her.

“What was it like? When I was like that?” Vanya lay back on her bed, staring at the ceiling rather than the boy at her side.

“It was- I mean- I was so scared, Vanya,” Five admitted, lying back with her, letting out a huge exhale as he did so. Vanya turned her head to watch his profile as he fixed his eyes on a spot on the roof. “You just weren’t here. And I couldn’t tell what was going on, whether I should keep pushing or if you were icing me out and I should give you space. But you were so empty, you looked like you but there was just nothing else. I thought I’d lose you- Jesus, I thought I _had_ lost you.”

He tilted his head towards her and his gaze was hinted with desperate panic, as if he wanted to assure himself she was there. Vanya touched his arm to ground him and he gave her a half-smile that wasn’t really sincere but he was trying.

“Just- will you promise you won’t take more than two at once?”

‘ _Don’t go away again,’_ he begged internally, but he didn’t know how to verbalise it.

“Do you really think I don’t need the pills?” she asked, changing the topic suddenly, and Five felt his stomach drop when she didn’t agree.

“You haven’t got a specific diagnosis and on the days you said you missed doses there weren’t any consequences, other than feeling more sensitive but beyond that…”

Vanya paused again, seeming to consider something. “And if I- _hypothetically-_ were to agree to this ‘experiment’ of yours, you would monitor me to make sure everything was fine?”

“Of course,” Five answered instantly, sitting up quickly.

“Ok,” she said with a brilliant smile, righting herself as well. “I’ll give it a try. But any sign of me in danger- myself or putting you guys at risk-”

“-and I will put the pills in your mouth myself,” Five swore solemnly. 

They sat in silence for a moment, regarding each other, and then Five did something which surprised Vanya. He wrapped his arms around her, and she quickly reciprocated.

Five held her tightly he murmured, “I’m so glad you’re back.”

She didn’t know what to say, but all the same she responded, “I’m not planning on leaving again.”

Vanya wasn’t sure if he had heard her, but the increase in pressure told her he knew.

————————————————————————

Five would have been ridiculously optimistic or stupid if he thought that Vanya wouldn’t need the pills again. She had been taking them for years, cutting her off and not accounting for that kind of dependency- not only physically but psychologically- would have been foolish. So for the next week, she took only one pill before breakfast and one after dinner.

It wasn’t particularly well-thought out- Vanya really should have taken two to slowly wean her off it. But Five didn’t want to risk her disappearing again and Vanya was eager to see the difference it made, so they were a little more impulsive.

Perhaps if they had done it more slowly, they would have realised Vanya wasn’t used to _feeling_ things. Perhaps if they had taken more time, they could have tried some coping strategies or just put her back on a two-pill dose. Perhaps if they had been less hasty, Vanya wouldn’t have been so overwhelmed at it all.

And so, perhaps if Five had been less protective and Vanya had been less curious, they never would have discovered the full extent of Reginald Hargreeves’ bullshit.

\---------------------------------

Of all things, it was a painting that altered the path of the universe beyond recognition. Rather distantly yes, but it cannot be denied that this painting set of a chain of events that prevented the apocalypse (though maybe that was done longer ago, when Five decided to time-travel, when he slammed that knife into the table, when he was just a little bit too arrogant and came home and changed just about everything).

It was not a particularly famous painting. It was not striking or interesting, it was one of the paintings that sit in museums and are always bypassed to see the grand attractions. It was rather small and one of the lesser known works of an obscure artist and was just about in every way unobtrusive and, well, _mediocre._

There was, however, one thing which made it mildly different from the hundreds of other paintings which looked the exact same- though it was not exactly a redeeming quality. The artist had used rather a strange set of paints-including a shade made from the ground up bones of Egyptian mummies. It wasn’t an uncommon practice from roughly the 15th century for artists to use mummy brown (and it certainly wasn’t the grossest thing Europeans did with these corpses) but it did make it this painting more precious as one of the few in this particular museum to use the paint.

It was this property that encouraged the thieves to try and take it, which set off the alarm for the whole museum. Which, in turn, triggered the guard response and that alerted the Umbrella Academy, as the museum had contracted their assistance for situations such as these because of the valuable artefacts and treasures kept and displayed there.

So without that painting, it would not have been so obvious how much the Umbrella Academy was slipping. They retained the artworks sure, and all the criminals were apprehended, but it was too messy and too drawn out- not the efficiency and deadliness that Reginald Hargreeves valued so much. That led to harder training and more strict limits being put in, which wore at everyone’s frayed nerves. And _that_ led to shorter tempers, sharper tongues and redirected anger from the dictator of the house to the rest of its occupants.

So in a roundabout way, that painting was the reason that Diego was ready and raring for an argument at lunch. The stewing tension was almost unbearable and the official Umbrella Academy had been grating on each others nerves since breakfast, sharpening their tongues (and blades) during their studies- trivial disputes, but underlying agitation was far greater than the appearance it gave off.

“P-Pass the sauce Luther,” Diego requested in a flat tone, chewing aggressively. Luther didn’t hear him though, wrapped up in eating and his conversation with Allison. “Luther.”

Still, he didn’t hear.

“Pass the goddamn sauce before a stick a knife through you, Number One!”

It was one of those moments where everyone had fallen unconsciously silent and thus heard that one comment. They all paused. Luther usually wouldn’t turn up an opportunity for a fight, especially if there was the chance for it to turn physical, but that particular day he had been rather tired and wanted to go back to eating.

He passed the condiment saying, “You just had to ask Number _Two._ ”

The slight emphasis on Diego’s numerical status was all the boy needed to properly enrage his restless temper.

“I tried but you were too wrapped up in Allison’s self-obsessed ramblings-”

“Woah!” Klaus and Ben exhaled as they watched the scene quickly escalate.

“This should be good,” Five murmured to Vanya, preoccupied with cutting up the food on his plate.

“That’s not true-“ Luther denied.

Allison began hotly, “Like you can talk-”

“Allison’s not self-obsessed,” Vanya remarked quietly.

All attention shifted immediately to Vanya.

“So you’re saying I’m a liar?” Diego challenged.

“N-no, of course not, I-”

“What she’s _saying_ is that you don’t have the first idea about anything,” Luther butted in.

Diego rounded on Luther. “Oh and you’re so much better-”

“ _I’m_ Number One,” he retaliated. 

“And such a good job you’re doing of it too, since we almost got bested by a bunch of criminals last mission under _your_ leadership.”

“Hey! Luther does a good job-” Allison broke in.

A squabble broke out, barbs flying thick and fast through the air. It was primarily the favoured siblings- they were competitive to a fault and couldn’t stand to let someone else win. Klaus and Ben were too invested in the outcome to get involved themselves and Five _would_ stir the pot, but it didn’t seem as if it needed to be stirred if it was already on fire.

“Well maybe if I didn’t have to train harder than you because you get the easy workload and can slack off-”

“I do not _slack off-”_

_“_ That’s all Dad thinks you can handle-” Diego taunted, and now it was bound to get really ugly because Reginald was a sore spot for everyone.

“You know that you all train very hard and Father wouldn’t let anyone slack off,” Vanya appeased them, ever the peacemaker.

See, the thing was, that Reginald’s training had hardened the Academy in unexpected ways. They learnt not to take anything each of them said worth a grain of salt- and whatever they did say, each of them had received enough praise from fans, or their father on occasion, that their ego didn’t take a beating but rather repelled the insult.

In fact, each of their egos were so big and pampered that the sting of most throw-away insults largely went unnoticed. Vanya however, had not a similar built-up reserve of resistance against these unconsidered injuries.

So to Diego, it rolled fairly easily off the tongue to say, “What would you know Seven? You’re just _ordinary_.” The edge in his voice was all too clear and as soon as he said it, he realised a line had somehow been crossed.

Vanya inhaled sharply and she recoiled at the hostility in his tone. “Of course. How silly of me to forget that I am not part of the Academy. Excuse me.”

She rose quickly and pushed open the door as she fled the room. Keeping the tears in was impossible, they fell, hot and fast, sliding down her cheeks and dripping onto her blazer. Vanya could feel her face heating up and her breathing was hitched and unsteady and sounded abnormally loud in the empty corridor. 

The bitterness soured in Five’s mouth as Vanya left- barely holding in tears he could tell. Usually such a comment wouldn’t raise such a response, but she had been off her medication and it had been rather aggressively shoved in her face. He didn’t say anything, but glared sharply at Diego, who was now being berated by Allison for being so cruel- and similarly death stared by Klaus and Ben while Luther awkwardly sat there and thanked the Lord he hadn’t been the one to say it.

Five strode after Vanya. As he passed the window, he was slightly surprised. _It was sunny this morning, so where did all this wind and rain come from?_

A draft distracted his attention- but instead of falling away as a light gust, it only got stronger and more brisk. He turned the corner and caught sight of her, hair being swept up in the breeze. Her sobs were audible from his position down the hall, but they were augmented, as if amplified.

“Vanya?” Five didn’t know how, because he certainly didn’t mean for it to, but it came out as a question. He advanced towards her cautiously, not wanting to upset her further. “Don’t take what Diego said seriously-”

That was a bad thing to say. Five knows that, but he wasn’t prepared for the sudden anger.

“H-he’s not wrong. I’m _ordinary-”_

The venom in her voice was unmistakable and Five sworn he heard the rain pour down all the harder.

“Vanya, that’s not-”

“I don’t see why he needed to _remind_ me though. God forbid I _forget_ that I’m not wanted-”

The walls shook slightly as her voice rose, and the items on the table nearby trembled in place. Neither of them noticed however, too wrapped up in their conversation to see it.

“That’s not true-” Five interrupted, unable to stop himself.

“Yes, it is true!” Vanya burst out.

Lightning blazed through the darkened sky outside, flashing its terrible light in the hallway for the briefest of instants before the thunder rumbled. Five cast a look around, startled, and when he looked back to Vanya, he took a slight step backwards in shock.

“I’m just Vanya, I’m boring Number Seven with no powers- Dad paid for seven extraordinary children and he got six. How could I not remember- it’s practically been pounded into my head for forever that I’m a disappointment because _I_ don’t have _powers!_ ”

She crescendoed to the final word of her outburst and a splintering sound could be heard, as the window beside them lined with cracks. Vanya’s head snapped to look for where the sound came from and everything- the wind, the rain, even the shattering glass- fell silent and pulled abruptly to a halt.

In her reflection, she should have seen herself- instead Vanya was faced with someone she didn’t recognise. In that figure, the wind blew her hair back and there was a fire in her eyes and she glowed. Physically _glowed,_ as if she were luminescent and she radiated power. It wasn’t Vanya, but an echo of herself in a fractured mirror.

Quite suddenly, Vanya was not angry anymore (indeed, she never had been), but now she was afraid.

“Five?” She whispered, scared that if she raised her voice the glass would shatter. Vanya took half a pace back from the window. “Did-did I do that?”

“I think so,” he breathed.

“But- but how? I don’t have any powers, I’m ordinary, there must be some sort of mistake-”

“Looks like you’re not as powerless as Dad made us to believe,” Five said in a stronger tone. Internally, he was making mad leaps from one idea to another, all the things that never added up and all of a sudden made sense.

(And deeper within, the memory of the day he time-travelled rose from within the recesses of his mind. The apocalyptic wasteland destroyed like the kitchen, like this _hallway,_ and when he went back further the _glowing violinist who ended the world-_ it surely couldn’t be, _Vanya_ couldn’t be…

They didn’t have all the facts, Five had to remind himself, they didn’t know for sure.

But Five knew. And though he did know that Vanya had powers and was stronger than they might ever be able to know, Five decided in that moment that there was not a thing on Earth that would make him protect her any less fiercely. She was his _sister-_ even if that isn’t define what she was to him, not really at all- and she was his favourite and he didn’t care how long it would take or what he had to do, but he would _make it_ so that Vanya was safe, within and of herself.

How he was going to do that…. he wasn’t exactly sure yet, but he knew staying in this house would only pull them down.)

“Come on, let’s go out.”

“Out where?” Vanya asked, thrown off guard and distracted from her spiral.

Five grinned, tugging at her hand. “Just out, get some fresh air. Away from all the Umbrella everything.”

“I’ve got lessons. And don’t you have training, Five? Dad’ll be so mad you if you miss it.”

Five looked at her, deadpan, “Ah yes, a stunning argument, because I would never go against Dad, and have never done anything for the sole purpose but to piss him off.”

She rolled her eyes, “You know that he would probably give you more training on top of all the stuff you’re doing now.”

It was so much easier to focus on Five than on anything that had just happened.

“With the show Luther and Diego have been putting on all day, I don’t think we’ll even make it to training. He’ll probably just take Numbers One through to Three and make them spar until they either use up all their anger or they’re all unconscious. I’m a free man,” he added lightheartedly.

“You’re a child," Vanya rebutted. "But that’s not the point. How can you be so sure? You don’t know everything Five. And I still have to practice and-”

“You practice every day, missing it once won’t kill you,” he wheedled. “It’ll be fun, I promise.”

Vanya didn’t put up a much of a fight after that- her concentration would be blown to blazes anyway and she doubted that if Grace asked that she couldn’t pass it off as having a headache. She felt though, that she shouldn’t give Five such an easy victory.

“How are we going to get out? It’s broad daylight, I don’t think the fire escape would be particularly inconspicuous.”

Five raised an eyebrow, “You think _that’s_ my grand plan?”

“It’s not like we’ve got an array of options Five.”

He rolled his eyes but didn’t contradict her. Instead, Five took her hand in his own and merely said “Hold on tight,” before he jumped.

Before they had even landed, Vanya was hitting his arm. “Why would you _do_ that?”

Five simply laughed.

Vanya looked around, not recognising the scenery, “Where are we anyway?”

“I think we both need a little distance. So, this is the library- I thought maybe now you could pick out some books and take them back to the Academy.” Five finished a little more nervously, suddenly worried that it had been a bad idea to try and distract Vanya from freaking out. “We don’t have to of course. I can take you wherever you want.”

_‘And I just might let you’,_ Vanya thought.

Instead she assured him, “No, this is perfect. Thank you Five.”

She smiled and intertwined her fingers with his as she tugged him towards the building. He grinned in response and let himself be pulled along, because just to see her smile made him feel lighter than air.

\--------------------------

There is something so calming about being in a quiet building, surrounded by the smell of books and completely losing your sense of time. By the time they had to go back to the Academy, Vanya was entirely at ease, relaxed after such a peaceful afternoon and excited about all the books she had burrowed. They had left the library behind and were now wandering through a park, stalling from the inevitable return journey back to the Academy.

“How are you?” Five asked quietly.

They hadn’t been talking much between each other, jokes whispered through the shelves or soft inquiries about titles, but mostly just smiles and enjoying being in each other’s company, drawing from each other’s silent presence. So much of our lives is wasted in mindless babble or small talk, but sometimes silence can be even more valuable.

“I-I’m better,” she said, a grin breaking through on her face at the realisation before worry clouded over her brow. “But what happened back there? Do you actually think I might have powers?”

“Well it would make sense… how did it feel?” Five wondered, curious.

“I mean, it felt a bit like I was unstoppable. I just got so… everything. When Diego said that it just set something off in me- I heard it and it felt like it was getting thrown in my face all over again. It was stupid-”

“It’s not stupid,” Five interrupted. “That’s something Dad has done. He’s fucked you up a little bit- yeah, but he fucked me up too and Klaus and Ben and all of us. You don’t have to apologise for the shit he put us through.”

“It’s just never felt so _real_ before, it felt like it hit me harder. Straight to the heart rather than bouncing off. It was kind of scary actually.”

Five took a moment to process that, unwilling to believe it. “Wait, so you’ve _never_ been angry?”

“Like that? No. Not that I can remember. It was all just more distanced, more numb. I mean, sometimes I’d feel a little more connected but…”

“What?”

“That was usually when I was off my pills,” Vanya realised. “Whenever I forgot to take them everything would be just _more.”_

“Ok, well that confirms at least that the pills were impacting you in terms of emotions, and probably blocking your abilities as well. But why would Dad want to do that?”

“Maybe he thought it would be easier to deal with a more sedate outcast than an emotional one.”

“No,” Five said, pacing as he thought about it. He had been considering it for the last few hours and had come to a few conclusions. “No, there’s no way he wouldn’t have known you had powers. He gave you the medication because he knew it would stop it from manifesting. But why?”

“To be fair, we don’t even know for sure if I do have powers. It could have all been a trick of the light- or maybe you have more abilities than you realise.”

“Vanya, if there was ever anyone special enough to have powers, it would be you.” Vanya blushed, even if she wasn’t quite sure why, “But if you don’t believe me, then we’ll just call this a working theory. It’s not true because I’m _saying_ it’s true, but it's true because it fits the facts.”

She sighed slightly as if to let him know she thought he was wasting his time before he continued. “Reginald Hargreeves literally sought out strange children with abnormal gifts for his own material gain. Why wouldn’t he try to harness all our powers? Either he didn’t know- which is unlikely considering all the surveillance plus all the ‘coincidences’ with your medication, not excluding the kitchen incident- or he didn’t want _us_ to know.”

“But why would he care what we know?”

Five debated telling her about the figure from the future but ultimately decided against it. Vanya was worried enough without adding fears of the impending apocalypse (and maybe even being the cause), especially if he wasn’t sure.

Instead, he went with a more general answer. “Maybe he’s afraid. You can affect the weather and make glass shatter Vanya-”

“We _think_ -”

He railed over the top of her, “-Reginald Hargreeves is terrified of anything that he can’t control. No, my question is _why now?_ If you’ve had these powers all your life, why did they decide to up the dose now? And why didn’t you remember that you have them? _”_

Vanya decided to assume Five’s theory, if only to try it on for size. “Well I have been forgetting more often to take my medication since we became friends- and I suppose I’ve been acting out a little as well. It’s a little like that game we played once- the one Allison managed to rumour someone into giving her. Trouble, I think it was called?”

Five nodded at the name of the game but was still confused at the connection.

“I’ve got more pieces out on the board now, I'm more vulnerable, so I’m more likely to get hit.”

He inclined his head in understanding, “So since you care about me and the rest of the Umbrella Academy, you’re more vulnerable with your feelings- it made everything bigger.”

“Ok, so you’ve got friends, you’re caring about what’s happening to us and that makes your emotions more volatile. Dad’s worried you’re going to figure it out- or Pogo is, because he’s been keeping an eye on us- and so they increase the amount of medication. It makes sense. There must be some kind of memory suppressant in the pills if you don’t remember it-”

“And _that_ would explain all the headaches when I pushed too hard because the suppressant was stopping me from accessing that particular part of my brain. With the increased dose I couldn’t remember anything, so that checks out too," Vanya completed Five's thought. 

He flashed a smirk at her as they walked. “You have to admit, it’s a pretty solid theory.”

“Maybe. We don’t have any proof though- and even if we did, I don’t want to know what Dad would do if he found out we knew.”

Five shuddered. Reginald Hargreeves was a more twisted man than he thought- he was verging on psychopathic. Drugging his adopted child and then having all his children observed by his servants so that they could tell if they were thinking of asking for rights or privacy. Yes, he was so much worse than Five had anticipated.

Shoving those thoughts aside he asked, “Do you think you could do it again?”

“I don’t know,” Vanya admitted. “I can try.”

They stopped strolling and Five pulled away slightly so that Vanya would have some room. She closed her eyes, balling her fists at her sides as she felt around in her head to pull the string that had been tickling the insides of her mind. Vanya tried to empty her mind and concentrate her thoughts on bringing clouds or a zephyr or even just a rustle in the trees- but nothing. No sense of power, no _anything._

When she opened her eyes, she shook her head. “Sorry.”

Five shrugged. “Don’t be. It took me ages to figure out how to harness my powers. Just you wait, Vanya Hargreeves, we’ll figure it out.”

She couldn’t help but notice Five used ‘ _we_ ’, as he reclaimed her hand, spinning her toward him as he did so.

Vanya leaned a little into him and said, regret tinging her tone, “Much as I’d love not to, we should probably head back if we want to make it in time for dinner.” 

“You know what? One day, we won’t have to go back. We’ll be 18 and broke and we’ll wander through parks at midnight and sleep until noon or do whatever it is that we want to.”

“Oh yeah?” Vanya asked, grinning as she picturing it, “Where would we live?”

“A big city- neither of us would be able to stand the quiet of anywhere else. Maybe we’d go to uni or we’d have a gap year or we’d work every day of our lives. I don’t think it would matter where we were. Just so long as we had an apartment to share and nowhere to be.”

Vanya laughed. “Allison would always be dropping over to comment on how ‘quaint’ it was before she and Klaus took me out for drinks. Ben would single-handedly fill every shelf in the place with books, combined from our birthday because he would try to give everyone a book and they’d all pile them onto us.”

“Diego would give us pepper spray as a house-warming present and Luther would probably give us a stupid plant but you’d keep it alive somehow,” Five continued, watching Vanya smile. 

“We’d both live off caffeine. You would put locks on every opening and change them every few months and you’d still write all over your walls so we’d have to repaint them every few weeks.” She bumped his shoulder companionably.

“And you would probably bake everyone a pie or something and make everyone in the building love us before they realised that you’re the violinist that gives concerts late at night of impeccable sonatas.”

“You’d tell me it was perfect even when I messed it up a million times-”

“And I wouldn’t be lying.”

They paused and Vanya turned to face him once again. It felt like it could be a moment she would remember forever and would be shaded with fond undertones or bittersweet memories, though of which she could not tell.

“It sounds nice,” Vanya said quietly. 

Five held onto the thought just a little bit longer. “We’ll make it there.”

“Promise?” She asked, extending her pinky.

He linked it with his own and said, in a tone just as serious as hers, “Promise.”

This time, he checked, “Are you ready?”

“Yeah, I’m ready,” Vanya said.

And in a flash of blue light, they were gone.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little shorter, but I wanted to establish how Vanya was doing before jumping (see what I did there?) into the few things I have planned for the next few chapters. 
> 
> Also all your comments and kudos for the last few chapter- I cannot tell you how much you make me smile. You're?? All? So? Lovely??? 
> 
> Wherever you are, I hope you're safe and happy and are taking care of yourselves! 
> 
> Let me know what the thoughts are on this one!

They decided to play it by ear. Perhaps not the best strategy, but Vanya didn’t know what set off her powers other than being off her medication and they couldn’t _test_ her powers if they couldn’t find them, so Five proposed keeping it just between them- at least until they figured out what was happening, so they knew how to handle it.

The window in the hall was replaced without question and no mention was made of the missing afternoon (Five had been right, he wasn’t missed and Vanya never did have to lie to Grace about what she was doing). Other than a quiet apology from Diego and some odd looks from Ben and Klaus, the next few days passed without any notable incident.

Vanya was trying to figure out how to make her powers manifest- but she didn’t know what triggered them and how that could translate into controlling them. In fact, Vanya was kind of scared- because yes, having powers was all she had ever wanted, to simply _fit in,_ but it had been scary; _she_ had been scary. Vanya had looked at her reflection and didn’t recognise herself, and it had felt for a brief moment as if she wouldn’t be able to gain control again. That was terrifying.

And she knew Five didn’t want to show it, but he had been a little rattled by it as well.

Of course, Vanya didn’t know that Five was straining his memory, trying to remember something, _anything_ , about the future. But the fact was that he had already done so many jumps that fateful day and he had been too tired to open his eyes. He couldn’t remember anything and now he was kicking himself for it- more than he had been since he came back.

So even if it had been Vanya (which he was still trying to wrap his head around, because it was _Vanya_ who he listened to play and laughed with and who he had never seen inflict harm on anything) his experience wasn’t any use except to make him cautious about the whole business. 

One thing Five was really trying to make obvious to Vanya was that he wasn’t scared of it, of whatever it was that she could do. He had the most experience with powers in general and he couldn’t be afraid of this- he could see Vanya was a little nervous of the idea that she could have powers she was responsible for but couldn’t control. And the only thing worse than someone who wasn’t in control of themselves was someone who was afraid because they couldn’t control themselves.

Fear is a nasty thing. It can hit hard and fast and make you unable to move or think, or it can eat away at you slowly with every shadow and noise, a paranoia that you can never quite face because it creeps into facet of your mind. The last thing Five wanted was for Vanya to be afraid, to be fearful of herself.

(He had seen what that looked like. With some of the criminals they faced down, when they realised what they had done, who they had become. In them, it looked like a memory that would haunt them for eternity, a fear to torment them- someone who shot at kids, someone who had been a kid but had somehow lost themselves in a way that they never really recovered from. Five doesn’t think he’ll ever have to worry about that since the Umbrella Academy set them off on a path from practically birth that never even gave them a _chance_ at normalcy.

Five had seen it in places far too close to home too. In Klaus every time he was left with Reginald for individual training, the way he couldn’t stand going anywhere near cemeteries when they were going to missions, in the way he dulled the fear in his eyes with whatever he could get his hands on. In Ben every mission, because he would always have to bring the monster out- and Five could tell his brother wanted to separate himself from _it,_ but he didn’t know where the beast began and Ben ended.

Number Four and Number Six were textbook examples of what happened when you were afraid of your powers- Five couldn’t help them, not in any way that would be permanent and grounding. Vanya, though, maybe he could help her. Maybe, he could hold onto his favourite, because he didn’t want to lose her. Not to fear. Not like how they had all lost their birth families, afraid of what they didn’t understand. Not like how the Academy had taken away any shot they had at being a real family; with the fear of not being the best for some, with the fear of themselves for others, with the fear of not being wanted, not being good enough, of never being able to escape.

They lived in fear- but when Five was with Vanya, it almost felt as if there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Fear was not going to take away the only hope that Five could hold onto in this house.)

————————————————————————

Nothing had happened for a week or so- and Vanya was relieved, if a little disappointed, because they still had no idea what was going on.

‘Nothing’ is of course, a relative term.

Vanya was really starting to discover what not being on her medication meant. Everything was _louder_ all of a sudden, and so much nearer than they used to be. Vanya was very aware of her position _in_ every interaction, rather than just being an onlooker. And, though it sounded stupid, she had noticed feelings were actually quite _volatile_. And it was _annoying._

She could just be at breakfast, and go through a rollercoaster- glow of laughter at Five’s face-pulling, irritation at not being able to reach or ask for the butter, the light pull of resentment at the proudly stern expression Reginald wore, worry for Allison and Luther being so openly affectionate in front of him, curiosity about the book in Ben’s hands and a puff of anger at that she wouldn’t be allowed to do the same thing because Reginald would take the opportunity to make a point.

It was exhausting. But she couldn’t just turn it _off_ (not anymore at least), and that was just annoyance at the trivial surface feelings everyday actions invoke.

The overpowering emotions, that raced through her body and clouded her judgement were just as annoying but more disconcerting.Because Vanya _knew_ that she was being irrational and she should calm down and just tell Five that she was pissed about a snide comment from Luther at lunch (who _tried_ but he was a teenage boy and he didn’t get it right most of the time, especially not with his youngest sister that he didn’t have anything in common with other than sharing the same last name) but she couldn’t because _dammit it hurt_ but she didn’t want to hurt Luther by telling him (or have Five hurt Luther if she told him about it). 

And she knew that some of what she was feeling was irrelevant- it wouldn’t change anything feeling like this, so why bother, especially when it would taint the actions she was performing. Even if she knew she was blowing things out of proportion, that didn’t mean she could just stop it. Vanya had started to realise that a lot of the time, rationality and emotions struggled in the human psyche- and while there was probably a logic to _why_ she was feeling whatever she was feeling, it certainly wasn’t one Vanya could track exactly enough to make the emotion cease.

Instead, it felt a little helpless, being at the mercy of all these inconsistent and irritating sensations that she’d never been a slave to before.

Five had been watching this phenomenon with no little amount of interest, but as an individual who was self-professed not to be good with his own emotions, let alone anyone else’s, he wasn’t quite sure how to help. He had considered consulting Klaus, Ben or Allison on how a _healthy_ person might process these emotions, but on further deliberation, Five had realised they probably had just about as good an idea as him- even if they did hide behind different deflection tactics, they were all just as clueless as each other.

\-------------------------------

When it came to a head, it was in a quiet way. It had been one of those days when nothing goes right, where nothing quite comes together.

Breakfast had been oatmeal, so Vanya was left with a small lump of the goo sitting heavily in her stomach but feeling hungry as well as vaguely nauseous. In her lessons, it had felt like she was retaining nothing, and none of the answers made sense. By lunch, she was a nasty mix of angry and depressed, and Five was helping Diego with the maths they were learning (so that Reginald wouldn’t chuck a skit at them tomorrow) so she sat with Klaus and Ben, feeling fairly out of place and wanting nothing more than to crawl under a blanket and not come out until she felt human again. After lunch, when she went to pick up the violin, she found everything wrong. Her scales were stilted, her fingers too slow, inflection too lazy, it all just sounded sloppy. 

That had been the last straw- violin was supposed to be the _one thing_ she could do, but Vanya sounded like a childish beginner. She had just started crying- and she was annoyed that she was crying but the tears _wouldn’t stop and why couldn’t she make it stop?_

Unfortunately, it was a rather unsatisfying crying session and Vanya didn’t really feel any better for having done it, but she dashed the tears with her hand and got back to it. By the time she heard the others trudging up from training, she sounded vaguely more like she usually did, having drilled the same bars over and over until they were up to her standard. She was feeling a little more calm since she had fixed one problem, but this was when Vanya really found out how fickle feelings can be.

Five appeared in Vanya’s room- he hadn’t talked to her all day, and it was grating on his nerves, so he thought he would come in to see what she was up to.

“Hey Vanya, you ok?”

And to Vanya’s horror, tears started to fill her eyes- _again. Bloody hell, hadn’t she cried enough in the last few weeks to last a lifetime?_

She didn’t answer and Five stepped towards her, gently taking the instrument out of her hands as he got a good look at her face. He enveloped her in a hug- and hoped he hadn’t overstepped any boundaries, because he was a lot more tactile with Vanya than he was with his other siblings (and he didn’t want to think about _why_ that was right now).

Vanya however, collapsed into his embrace and lay her head against his chest as she sobbed.

He waited until she reached a point where she stopped shaking and he counted breaths in and out with her as she tried to regulate her breathing and calm down.

“So what’s wrong? What happened?” Five murmured, when he judged that she would be able to talk.

“Nothing even _happened,_ just a heap of things piled up and I felt like crap,” Vanya drew back slightly and sat down on her bed, as she asked slightly hopelessly, “Is this what it feels like all the time? Just feeling everything?”

Her eyes flicked back to his briefly, scanning his face, before darting away again.

Five understood what she meant, knowing that she was acclimatising to life with all the feelings that he was used to and realising it had been one of _those_ days.

He sighed as he eased himself down beside her, trying not to hurt his aching muscles, as he answered, “Mostly, yeah.”

“It sucks.”

“Yeah, it does suck,” Five laughed slightly at her frankness.

“I’m so tired, just all the time. And I’m sick of always feeling sad- like I actually feel happy about 40% of the time and half of that is sleeping. It’s just all so weird.”

“That’s the repression talking. I mean, emotions are weird, but usually they even out, it’s just that you’re getting hit by a freight train of like a decade and a half worth’s of emotions all at once.”

“I don’t know what to do with them- they feel kinda like a waste, they drain my energy but I don’t really know how to handle them just yet. And I’m learning how to handle it, I am, but today was just-”

Vanya broke off, not knowing how to describe so many little things adding up to make her become a sniffling, sobbing mess all over Five.

“It was one of those days,” Five offered. At Vanya’s questioning look, he elaborated, “Nothing big happened but it just has the overall impression of making you feel like shit.”

  
She nodded, relieved that he understood what she meant with so little communication, “It’s just annoying because I don’t _like_ feeling so gross and just unhappy, but there just wasn’t anything that made me feel better. ”

“Some days you’ve just got to write off. You cry, you scream, you throw knives at a picture of Dad if you’re Diego,” that prompted a chuckle out of Vanya and Five grinned at having succeed in his goal to make her smile. Five continued, “And you move on.”

“I don’t even know why I’m feeling half of what I do!" Vanya groaned a little petulantly, "You mean I can’t just make it stop?”

Five filed the first thought away and replied to her question, “Not feeling. Not anymore- you know as well as I do that those pills weren’t good for you, even if the side-effects suck.”

Vanya sighed, but she knew Five was right. She felt more alert and better than she had been in her memory- hazy as it was- even if the emotions were draining.

“But it helps if you just find something good every day. Like a good book, or a song or a nice picture of a leaf or something. Doesn’t matter, just so long as it reminds you that there’s something beyond _all this,“_ Five gestured at the walls of the Academy, a slight look of derision at the confining space. “Something to hold onto that reminds you that there’s things you want to do and you’ve got to get through this so you can do that one day.”

Vanya considered what he said. “What do you think of?” 

“I try to remember that one day I’ll be out of here, and I’ll be free to pursue that future where we can walk through parks at midnight.”

She smiled and then questioned, “Then what do you hold onto?”

_You. I hold onto you._

He didn’t say it aloud, but he thinks maybe the tenderness in his eyes, the way his eyes dropped to their intertwined hands might have been just as loud as if he had screamed it.

—————————————————————

The next day Vanya found a book about the psychology of emotions on her bedside table with a note written in chicken scratch handwriting: _'S_ _o we can figure out the other half of what you’re feeling’._

And she couldn’t help but grin and hold onto the thought of it the entire day.

——————————————————————

Five was not convinced that you could learn everything from a book and firmly believed that a big part of learning was enacting it in a practical sense. (Of course, that could be assumed since he time-travelled to the apocalypse without testing it first.)

But when Vanya admitted she wasn’t sure how to be dealing with all these emotions and Five gave her his two cents, he figured that even though they were all clueless and emotionally-stunted, she might as well ask their siblings.

Since she had already tried the numbing and repression, they skipped Klaus, who took no offence and pointed out that the ill-timed humour tactic was also covered by Five and Ben quite well. Ben recommended reading to get caught up in other stories- though Vanya had been doing that for years. Diego and Luther were also given a miss, since Five figured that Vanya probably didn’t particularly want to hear about displacing anger to help foster an inferiority complex or how to kiss someone’s ass so well that you forget that you have rights as a human being.

Allison though, had a surprising new take that Vanya thought was kind of embarrassing but her sister swore by.

“Just scream and let it all out. You can do it into your pillow or you could get Five to take you somewhere and just sort of howl. It’s actually really therapeutic.” Allison nodded wisely, and Vanya had a sneaking suspicion she was quoting one the magazines she managed to smuggle into the house.

Five thought it was hilarious and convinced her to _at least try it before you bash it Vanya, you always say I have to read a fully book before I can judge it off the one page you’re reading and tell you that it’s boring._

So Vanya didn't quite know how (yes, she did, Five asked her with that smirk that had started to send warmth to her cheeks as well as heat her insides and offered to take her away from the Academy and Vanya doesn’t _want_ to say no to him- _for reasons she won’t examine, Allison_ ) but a few days later, Five jumped them to a train station. They caught a train to the middle of nowhere, trekking into a field with no one around for miles after an hour long ride on the train- which was actually a lot of fun since they got window seats and could look out at the rushing past scenery and talk the whole way there.

There was a dead tree in the far corner, but other than that, the field was empty.

Five stood a few metres away, and gestured for Vanya to begin.

“What do I do?” Vanya asked, a little lost at how she was meant to start.

“Well I assume you scream. And then you keep screaming until you feel better. Seems fairly straightforward,” he said, a hint of sarcasm colouring his tone.

She rolled her eyes, “Thank you Captain Sassy, we appreciate the precious contributions you make to society.”

Five didn’t respond to point out the obvious irony in her calling _him_ sassy, instead smirking and raising his eyebrows as if to say ‘Well, go on then’.

Vanya felt a little stupid, but all the same, she figured it couldn’t hurt to try. So she screamed into the sky in a field of overgrown grass, closing her eyes as she reached fever pitch, trying to let go of all the emotions sitting in her chest.

Five took half a step backwards. Those clouds had not been there a few seconds ago. The wind started to pick up and Five felt the rush of air as it whistled past him. The sun was blotted out behind the brewing darkness swirling above them. Vanya’s scream was louder, sharper and as shadow fell across them, he noticed the glow in her skin.

Five realised he probably should interrupt her but for some reason, the words stuck in his mouth, like how his clothes started sticking to him as rain began to pour down, like a million hammers hitting the ground (and he distantly realised that all the noises were amplified, though he couldn’t think why as he brain raced a mile a minute to figure out what had been the catalyst to launch Vanya’s powers).

It sounded like the fabric of the world around them was tearing apart as thunder rumbled above them. Fire seared down from the heavens, a line of bright against the shadowing darkness. Lighting up the night for a moment with violent violet light- almost daylight but with a harsher lilt. The change from indescribable objects cloaked in darkness and shadows twisted into shapes and colours was a harsh shock, far beyond what could be imagined in the day.

“Vanya!” It was ripped ragged from Five’s throat as the lightning hit the tree- and if it wasn’t dead before, it definitely was now.

Vanya stopped screaming and opened her eyes, all of a sudden aware of the water that covered her and the clouds that were quickly disappearing. She blinked quickly, trying to remember if she could recall the feel of rain on her skin or the smell of burnt wood that now invaded her nostrils, but all she could remember was her scream, the sound of pelting rain and the roll of thunder.

“Five? What did I do?”

She was a little worried, he had sounded in torment when he had yelled her name but now he sent her the manic sort of grin that you can only give when adrenaline runs through your body and it feels as if you can take on the world

“You, Vanya, just figured out how to access your powers. How are you feeling now?” he asked, because first and foremost, Vanya had to be fine before anything else.

Vanya breathed in the smell of the earth after it had rained as the sun reappeared, as if it had merely been a momentary sun shower, and felt the chill in the air as her finger curled in her sleeves. There was ice in her lungs and fire in her veins and peace in her heart as she looked at Five and smiled with all the warmth of the sun.

“I feel _great._ ”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t you hate it when you really want to read a particular scene but no one’s written it? And you’ve got like a very particular vision of how you want it to go so if someone has kind of written it you’re a bit like eh? Like how dare I have to be the one to write the kind of content I want to see- and butcher it completely? 
> 
> (But a poorly written scene is better than none at all, so with that glowing introduction, enjoy this chapter)
> 
> It's less Fiveya but I really wanted to focus on the family relationships in this one because I like to think that if Five had come back from the apocalypse, he would have just about turned everything on its head- and my AU, my rules! 
> 
> Leave a kudos or comment and let me know what you think!

With a little more experimenting (most of which looked quite silly since it was just Five and Vanya alternating screaming at each other but there was a method to the madness) and by the end of it, Five had just about determined that Vanya’s power lay in _sound._

As far as he could tell, it didn’t matter whether she made it or someone else did, so long as the sound waves were in her hearing range which (tested with spatial-jumping at different intervals followed by more screaming) was actually a lot further than to be expected, which was a mark of her sensitivity to sound and the potential Vanya’s powers held.

Looking back on his memories, Five was more than a little salty to realise he already _knew_ this. Thinking about the violinist from his recollections, Five couldn’t deny any longer that it was Vanya- he knew it had been, the feeling in his gut told him it couldn’t be anyone else, but testing her powers and seeing them in action confirmed it. Which opened a whole new pandora’s box of questions that Five really didn’t know how to answer.

_Did this mean Vanya was going to cause the apocalypse? Had he altered the timeline by returning to the Umbrella Academy and therefore diverted that future? What was Vanya actually capable of? Could Five even help her with learning to control her powers- his were so different, all his training was in an entirely other skillset, what could he do? Did Reginald know about this and that was why he didn’t train Vanya and numbed her powers?_

One thing he knew was that Vanya wouldn’t cause the apocalypse on purpose. There had to have been a trigger. From the small sample group of examples of her powers manifesting that he and Vanya had to work with, Five was about 75% sure that the common link was when Vanya was feeling strong emotions, she could access her powers (and though he wasn’t certain, it was the only theory he had- and anyone who’s studied history knew there had been entire schools of thought and science on hypothesis with less evidence backing them up, so Five was quite inclined to say _fuck it._ It wasn't great, but it was the best he can do while adjusting to the idea that the one thing he hadn’t ever questioned- as someone with ‘paranoia’ as practically their name- was a lie).

So if he assumed he was right, which Five usually did, there had to have been something massive to happen to future Vanya to have been able to access that much power- especially if she had still been taking her medication, which Five figured she would be since she didn’t have any reason to question it. A betrayal? Maybe Vanya was an activist in the future and got really angry about the state of the world.

Five didn’t exactly have much to work with in the way of evidence, but from what he knew about Vanya, he was inclined to think that it was more centred around _people_ rather than events, because Vanya (all of the Hargreeves were actually, likely a result of the lack of attention and healthy relationships they all were exposed to) was more sensitive towards how people treated her than anything else.

But if Vanya hadn’t changed much- which chances were she hadn’t- then she probably would have largely kept to herself as an adult because she never learnt social skills from living in a house with siblings who ignored her existence entirely. So she wouldn’t really have any standing relationships with anyone other than her family, which meant that probability leant towards one of the Hargreeves being to blame.

That was fucking scary.

Five knew how much Vanya had been hurt by their family’s actions towards her and he was pretty sure that if they seen what he had, they’d have some regrets about their behaviour; Five never was _mean_ to Vanya, and he had still found after seeing the apocalypse that he had much he wanted to atone for. And he also knew how they, as a family, all contributed to making the Academy just a little bit worse for each other as a whole.

They needn’t always be competing or isolating themselves, because in the end they were all living through this house of horrors together. By the time that they made it to the legal age to be able to leave, they would all be scarred and hurt in ways that wouldn’t mend- and the only people who would understand it would be the rest of the Academy.

Five didn’t want to leave this house on his own. He wanted to be sure that as dysfunctional of a team as they were, they remained a team- and being closer and trusting each other more probably wouldn’t hurt their form on missions, because Five was also sick of having to pray to the _please-don’t-let-these-idiots-die-they’re-morons-but-I-love-them_ gods.

So Five had a little side-project- along with helping Vanya train and the time-travel equations he was _still_ trying to balance- he was trying to knit his family back together. Which was kind of fucking hard when they were all stubborn, competitive and too difficult for words.

If Five were really to point fingers, it would be in the general direction of Luther (too wrapped up in being Number One to usually give a shit about anyone else), Diego (who was so insecure about being Number Two that he struggled to reach out and interact with his siblings without hearing them challenge him- be it real or hypothetical) or Allison (who, while she had extended the olive branch to Vanya and often had Klaus raiding her wardrobe, still was a bit too headstrong to se when she hurt someone else) for the fact that they weren’t a particularly _cohesive_ family unit.

They all have their own relationship dynamics, sure, but getting all seven of them together and not splitting off into little cliques was harder than Five had initially anticipated. The real problem- though Five hadn’t realised it- was that they didn’t trust each other. Not when every secret had a price, and anything could be used against them if Reginald found out. The day he realised it though, was not one he would ever forget.

\-------------------------------------

Five and Vanya had started with trying to get her to exert control over singular sounds, refining her focus on the one noise and then creating a restrained reaction.

They had been playing around with using her violin to play a note, since Vanya was easily able to distinguish the pitch (which might help her zero in on the specific sound) with the added bonus of it being a regular household noise, so they wouldn’t have to awkwardly explain what they were doing to any passing siblings or Pogo.

Five had just finished training, where Reginald had called for a surprisingly sober Klaus to stay behind for extra training- who had looked like he was going to be sick when he heard it, quickly schooling his face back into disinterest even if the fear in his eyes hadn’t disappeared.

Five hated to think what was happening in that training room for his brother to look like that and Ben had left training looking torn with guilt, but there was nothing they could do. Reginald Hargreeves’ word was like the law- rather outdated, obviously biased to benefit one group and no way to argue with it.

He had jumped to Vanya’s room immediately because they had planned to practice today and tried to distract himself from the worry about what Klaus was doing. There wasn’t really a concrete way to _measure_ Vanya’s power, but Five improvised with a piece of paper and seeing how far Vanya could blow it across the room using just the sound by transforming it into a more palpable energy.

The raised eyebrow she had given him at that was equal parts cowing and hilarious, so Five merely shrugged and asked if she had a better idea for what they could use that wouldn’t be missed if broken or used multiple times and could measure the reaction. Vanya didn’t, so the paper stayed, and a ruler was acquired to measure how far she could move it with each note and whether pitch or volume made a difference.

Vanya was having little luck with accessing her powers- it didn’t come naturally (and though Five said a hundred times how it was bullshit to think that you could pick it up as easily as breathing, Vanya couldn’t help feeling a little like a failure because she didn’t get it immediately). The first few times she had done it, she remembered almost nothing and while she had a vague idea of the kind of thing she had to do, she just. Didn’t know how to do it.

Five was patient with her; he similarly had no idea of what exactly her powers would look like (and much as he hated to admit it, a begrudging respect had to be felt for Reginald Hargreeves, who had not only found the powers of six- probably seven- children but also trained majority of them in their different abilities and turned them into weapons). And that was where Vanya was having another problem.

Because as well as having her entire existence thrown on its head by the possibility of her having powers- more than possibility at this stage, but Vanya really needed to keep compartmentalising to make sure she didn’t slip up and accidentally give away her knowledge- Vanya was kind of annoyed at Allison.

She had always been _aware_ of Five- and more than conscious that he was rather attractive- but ever since she had brought it up a few weeks ago (had it really only been that long? Vanya felt as if she had lived a _lifetime_ ), Vanya was having a lot of difficulty keeping her thoughts in order. It didn’t help that he was so… smart and stupid and gentle and brash and funny but somehow the most serious person she knew and a thousand other contradictions. Five was just unabashedly _himself,_ and for some reason Vanya couldn’t help wondering about things she shouldn’t be.

(Like how she wasn’t sure if she imagined that he smiled just a little bit wider at her, his expression just a little more vulnerable with her. Like how he smelt fresh and comforting and _safe._ Like if he felt the same heat she did when they touched accidentally but a gentle warmth when it was open comfort. Like how when the nightmares haunted him and he sought her out, in his arms she was settled- though something like a hunger sat in her gut when their limbs tangled and nothing else. Like how occasionally she thought his eyes darted down to her lips- and sometimes she would wonder what his lips would feel like over hers.)

He was her favourite. He was her brother _._ He was _Five._ She shouldn’t be thinking about it, not even a fleeting daydream, and yet…

It made training with him just a little bit more tricky, when she was trying not to admire his profile (get lost in his brief and brilliant grins or the contagious sarcasm he playfully threw at her) and then blush in his presence when she caught herself doing it all the same.

He was her _brother._ A small part of Vanya’s mind whispered, ‘ _Adopted brother, you aren’t related…’_

But she couldn’t let herself think like that. Family or not, it didn’t matter.

Five didn’t- _couldn’t_ \- think about Vanya like that.

She was boring and plain and ordinary. ‘ _Not so ordinary,’_ that same part of her mind reminded her, ‘ _you have powers’._ Forcefully, she shut down that train of thought. _It didn’t matter._

Five was far too brilliant to give Vanya a second thought as more than a sister.

_(‘I’ve never seen Five look at anyone the way he looks at you… like you’re the galaxy,’_ is what Allison had said, but that didn’t mean anything. Allison had been wrong before, Vanya couldn’t just hang all her hope on one throwaway comment.)

With all those thoughts rattling around in her head, it was no wonder Vanya was having trouble concentrating on the one sound.

Unconsciously, she stretched her hearing range beyond just the room. Vanya could hear Allison and Luther talking down the hall, and Ben in the library flicking through a book, foot tapping impatiently all the time. Grace was in the kitchen baking something judging by the light clash of pots and pans, Pogo was looking through documents making a light shuffling noise on the desk. Outside, people laughed and argued and talked, cars flew past and birds crowed- a million sounds and Vanya could hear them all.

Then one broken voice rose above them all.

_“No, no please, go away. Make it stop...”_

And then the screams rang in Vanya’s ears and she almost dropped her violin as she realised who it was, fear coursing through her.

She practically threw her violin down as she strained her ears further asking Five, “Can you hear that?”

Five was confused. “What? The note you played?”

“I think Klaus is in trouble, I can hear him screaming. We have to help him-”

“He’s in training with Dad, I don’t think we can get him out of that.”

It filled Five with disgust and helplessness at having to say it, but there wasn’t anything to be done. Reginald would not take kindly to being interrupted, so they were powerless to help, unless they wanted to undergo whatever Klaus was.

“I can’t hear Dad. Wait,” Vanya stilled and focused hard. “He’s with Pogo. But Klaus is definitely not ok. I don’t know what’s happening, he’s just screaming.”

The bad feeling in Five’s gut when he had left Klaus in the training room grew. “Where is he?”

“Not in the training room but, I-I don’t know, I can’t tell-” Vanya's tone wavered.

Klaus was flamboyant and inclusive in a way that made it feel as if everyone were welcome to simply _be._ Whatever it was that was making him sound so scared, so utterly _broken,_ Vanya wasn’t leaving him like that.

Five searched his brain, trying to remember any mention Klaus made of his specialised training, but no memories rose to mind. It suddenly hit him, a recollection of when they drove past the cemetery for a mission and Klaus made a half hearted reference to it being as bad as a-

“Mausoleum. He’s in the mausoleum.”

“He’s being _tortured,_ Five, what do we do?” Vanya was wringing her hands, panic overriding her.

(Because this was different to a mission, this was Reginald purposely putting his charges at risk and traumatising them so they would _scream_ bloody murder and Vanya felt sicker than she had when she realised she had been lied to her entire life.)

Five didn’t answer. Instead, he pulled up the equations, easy as breathing, and jumped.

Landing in the dank room, Five didn’t immediately see Klaus, but rather heard his cries. When he caught sight of him, his stomach turned. His brother was socking back and forth, arms over his head and tears creeping down his cheeks from closed eyes, trying to block out the shrieks of the dead.

“Klaus, Klaus,” Five grabbed Klaus’s arm, who started, eyes snapping open.

“Five?” Klaus' voice was weak with wonder and, not for the first time, Five wished they’d all just grown up in orphanages- surely it had to be better than this sort of systematic abuse. “Are you here? Or are you dead as well? But you can touch me?”

Five ignored most of his questions, instead tightening his grip on Klaus. “I’m here. It’s time to go,”

“They’re so loud Five,” Klaus groaned and covered his ears, as the spirits must have overwhelmed him again.

“I know, I’ll get you out of here,” Five murmured even though Klaus couldn’t hear him.

Summoning his strength, he modified his equations and pulled Klaus with him into the jump through space.

Appearing back in Vanya’s room, Five let Klaus fall onto her bed. The jarring shock from the jump had pulled Klaus’ arms down and he sat, motionless, as if trying to comprehend what had just happened.

Vanya forced a glass of water into Klaus’s hand and he drank it quickly, still not understanding but having so many questions he wanted answered.

After finishing it, he asked, “How- how am I here?”

“I brought you with me in the jump,” Five explained, even as he guided Vanya’s fingers to his pulse- with each word they spoke, he could see the items in the room trembling just slightly, her anxiety affecting her powers. Five knew Vanya needed to be grounded and feeling a pulse was an easy way to do it. He watched everything settle as Vanya let out a light breath.

Klaus didn’t notice, eyes still unfocused, and with a voice still raw he posed another question, “Since when could you do that?”

“Dad’s latest idea. Actually coming in useful though,” Five commented.

Vanya, regaining her voice after managing her emotions spoke before Klaus could ask another question. “How are you? I mean, is there anything I can do?”

“Can you get Ben?”

Five vanished and appeared not thirty seconds later at the door with Ben in toe.

“Klaus?”

What followed was Ben mother-henning Klaus as he slowly pulled out of the trance he had put himself in while in the mausoleum.

“So your training is being left in the mausoleum for hours?” Five asked when he judged Klaus being up to responding.

“Supposed to help me conquer my fear of the dead,” Klaus answered, bitterness seeping into his tone.

“Pretty sure it would do the opposite,” Vanya murmured, and Ben nodded silently in agreement.

_It’s abuse, it’s torture,_ was what was left unsaid, but Vanya heard it just as clear as if someone had spoken it aloud.

“Why did you come for me?” Klaus said, then adding, “How did you know where to find me anyway?”

Vanya and Five shared a look. If they told Klaus and Ben, the risk that the secret would come out was doubled. And it wasn’t as if they had much proof to properly convince either of them that what they were saying was true.

A guarded look fell like a veil over Klaus’s face. “You don’t have to tell us.”

Vanya came to a decision then and there- she was sick of feeling as if everyone were hiding secrets. If hers had to be the first to come out to open the way, so be it. “It’s a long story is all, we might not have time for it. After dinner though?”

She shot a quick look at Five, half expecting him to be shaking his head at her naivety, but he merely grinned at her. ( _‘Maybe this was the first step towards being a real team,’_ he thought.)

Ben looked between Vanya and Five and then at Klaus, as if he were going to say something else when Vanya’s face lost the flush it had gained when Five had smiled at her as she heard something unwelcome.

“He’s coming back to let you out, Klaus.”

That left a silence in the room, as Ben and Klaus frowned, about to ask _how_ she knew that and Five’s expression set.

“If we don’t want Reginald to ask questions, then I’m going to have to take you back Klaus,” Five said, standing from his position next to Vanya.

Klaus would have argued, but he knew that if he wasn’t in the mausoleum when Reginald came back, there would be hell to pay. He nodded stiffly, and held out his arm for Five to take.

“Right, well, it’s been lovely. Thank you for saving me, Vanya, and your hospitality in housing me. I’ll see you at dinner Ben,” flippantly Klaus told his remaining siblings before turning to Five. “See, that’s how you use your manners Five. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you thank Vanya for-” 

Five rolled his eyes, sending a wink to Vanya as he jumped with Klaus mid-rant.

Vanya half-giggled and Ben grinned faintly at his brothers’ antics. Turning to Vanya, Ben realised he had a perfect opportunity to ask the question he had wanted to before.

“So, are you and Five….” he drifted off meaningfully, raising his eyebrows for emphasis.

“No!” Vanya said it just a little too quickly and vehemently, and Ben obviously thought so too as his brows flew closer to his hairline.

Knowingly, he tapped his nose and grinned, “Ah, but you want to, don’t you?”

Spluttering, Vanya denied it but Ben seemed not to hear her protests.

“Do me a favour? Could you lay off from making it official for a bit? I’ve got a bet I need to renegotiate.”

And with that, Ben cheekily smiled at her and darted out of Vanya’s room, leaving behind an incensed and red Vanya for Five to find a few seconds later.

————————————————————————

Five was slightly embarrassed that he didn’t consider it earlier, but upon thinking later that night about his other sibling’s trainings and whether they were all as bad as Klaus’s, Five realised that there was one solid record of _everything_ Reginald knew about the Umbrella Academy members and their powers- Pogo’s notes. Which meant if there was anywhere he would not only find about specialised training but also all about Vanya, it would be in those journals.

Getting access to them was a little more tricky, since Five wasn’t actually sure whether Pogo _slept_ or not, but the cameras showed Pogo to be out of the picture and Reginald asleep, so Five took a chance and jumped into Reginald’s office. Rifling through the books, he absorbed everything about the specialised training (none of which was as bad as Klaus’s though Ben’s was a close second) and when he came across the things about Vanya, he memorised the entry.

How Reginald had been training her for twelve days when a thunderstorm hit and Vanya got distracted and was defiant. How he had then thrown her into a bunker below ground to continue training her, but she showed ‘further resistance’. How Vanya’s powers had terrifying possibilities and Reginald hadn’t known what to do with a rebellious and powerful child. How her medication had been specifically made only to dampen Vanya’s emotions and powers. How he had forced Allison into rumouring Vanya and then everyone else, including herself, into believing Vanya was ordinary.

Which explained- just about everything, even Vanya struggling to remember how she used her powers. Five assumed that since the rumour had been more concentrated towards Vanya it was harder to break, while the one Allison had put on him would have been more generally directed at all the rest of the Umbrella Academy.

Fire ignited in Five’s veins at the idea of how Vanya had been treated, but he tempered it to focus on the principles Pogo had written.

It seemed Five had been right about the emotions acting as a trigger. According to these thoughts, as an untrained child, Vanya’s emotions were the easiest access point to her abilities. They allowed her to channel all her thoughts into the one action and quieted other thoughts so she could tap into redirecting the sound into destructive energy.

That was useful and meant they had been starting in entirely the wrong place. Five and Vanya needed to work on calming her mind so she could control her thoughts, which would then help her to control her abilities, rather than just testing her abilities without direction.

Because if this was right, then Vanya, ‘ordinary’ Number Seven was the most powerful of them all.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Confrontation! Let me know how you guys think I did on this one, it was a fun one to write I just hope it all makes sense!

When Vanya and Five told Klaus and Ben about Vanya’s powers, they were sceptical, to say the least.

As a compromise, to prove Vanya had powers, they agreed that Ben and Klaus could come to some of Vanya’s training with Five one day. Five wasn't thrilled with the idea, but he _really_ wanted to make sure that they believed Vanya. Ben and Klaus had powers that were the closest to hers; the struggle with not being overwhelmed and having to clear your mind. And Five was hoping that they may have some strategies from training on how to control it.

As it was, Five was making use of the calming techniques they already did to help clear Vanya's mind in training. Using the steady heartbeat helped to keep Vanya grounded late at night when she felt like she was drifting and breathing helped as well, so Five and Vanya sat on Five’s bed and found each other’s pulses and breathed for a while, until Vanya was calm.

Then Five pulled out his latest book from the library with a sarcastic grin and in a monotone voice (emphasising some words for comedic relief and to really convey how stupid he thought it was) began reading. “Mindfulness in Easy English. Chapter 1- What _is_ meditation. _Mediation_ is a-” 

“Ok, I think you can skip this part Five,” Vanya said dryly, though a smile was twitching at the corner of her lips as Five grinned guilelessly at her.

Flicking a few pages forward, he began in earnest. “Take a few deep breaths, in and out, in and out. Let your thoughts stop and acknowledge each one before you put it to the side or store it away. Clear your mind, and let yourself be perfectly still and comfortable…”

Continuing on in a similar vein for the next half an hour or so, Vanya was well and truly relaxed- ready to focus on the sounds and direct them as she chose- when Klaus entered the room.

“Hey guys, are you busy?”

“Yeah, we’re training actually-” Five began, about to tell Klaus to piss off.

Klaus interrupted him. “Great, we can watch you then! Hey Ben, come on in!”

This wasn’t exactly how Five wanted one of their first trainings to go. Vanya might not be able to prove that she had powers with them all watching her and not having practiced first, so it could do more harm than good to have them here now. (It probably also didn’t help that Five hadn’t got to talk to Vanya much at lunch today, so he wasn’t too hot on the idea of having someone invade his time with her)

He was just about to tell them both to get out when another problem arose.

Something that hadn’t been taken into consideration when Klaus and Ben were testing the waters (for if Five would kill them for interrupting him and Vanya) was that to get to Five’s room, Ben and Klaus would have to walk past Allison’s room. And as soon as Allison heard something going on, she immediately _had_ to know what it was.

So, no sooner had Numbers Four and Six waltzed in, that Number Three decided to join the party.

“Hey, I didn’t know we were allowed in Five’s room- especially not when Vanya’s in here. So what’re you guys doing in here?”

Five groaned- it was going to be even harder to get rid of Allison as well as Ben and Klaus, and she was a hundred times more likely to encourage Ben and Klaus on analysing his every move towards Vanya and making jokes _when she could hear them you idiots, if hears anything from you I promise you will_ wish _I had killed you._

It was ok though. The afternoon was still salvageable, Five could still get them all out and then he and Vanya could start trying to integrate meditation into her skillset, _alone._

Vanya however, heard a noise from down the hall, and knew they weren’t going to be having the quiet afternoon she had hoped for.

“Oh for the love of-” Five swore as yet another sibling appeared in the doorway (he really had too many). “Does this look like a fucking summer camp?”

“What’s going on?” Diego asked, ignoring Five (and looking proud at having formed the words in his mind and said them without a stutter).

“That’s what we’d _all_ like to know-”

“Shut up Klaus, you know what’s happening,” Five interjected, suddenly regretting having asked both him and Ben to help with Vanya’s training.

Allison pouted, “Why does _he_ know, and I don’t?”

Vanya, hoping to start on a different discussion, asked Diego, “That was really good Diego, have you been practicing?”

“Mom was helping me last night,” he grinned, obviously delighted that someone had noticed.

Vanya smiled back, knowing that Diego wouldn’t say it himself, but he was glad she had remarked on it and showed it rather through actions than words.

Unfortunately, Allison was like a dog with a bone and wouldn’t let the subject drop, “Does Ben know too? Are Diego and I the only ones who _don’t_ know what’s happening?”

“Not the _only_ ones,” Vanya mollified her.

“Then who-” 

And that’s when Luther came into the mix. “What’re you all talking about?”

Silence stretched in response.

Diego took on a knowing air, Ben looked at the ceiling and Klaus was grinning at all the chaos as Allison glared curious daggers at Five and Vanya.

Vanya shot a panicked look at Five- they had both agreed that if there was anyone among the Academy they wanted to keep Vanya’s powers hidden from, it was Luther.

He would immediately demand they talked to Reginald about it (because of _course_ the person who had made him Number One and was the closest thing to a father figure that he had _must_ have had a _reason_ for not telling them). Not to mention the sibling politics and rivalries that would be stirred up as Luther tried to rationalise his way out of accepting that perhaps he was not as powerful, nor as important, as he thought himself to be.

Luther came from a good place, but he idolised Reginald Hargreeves, which meant that anything to do with the man (practically their entire lives) was difficult to reason about with Luther because he was blinded by his admiration. So that Luther had found them now… it was _inconvenient_ to say the least.

Unluckily for Five and Vanya, Luther saw the look- and that short temper of his, which made him a reckless leader, once again reared its ugly head.

“It’s me, isn’t it? Is it about training again? Just because you all find it hard and I don’t, it doesn’t mean that I’m slacking off or that Dad goes easy on me-”

Internally, Five cussed as Luther launched himself into a self-righteous lecture.

“-we’re the Umbrella Academy- we have to work as a team. Dad elected _me_ to be Number One; I’m team leader. So you all need to listen to me-”

“Jesus Christ Luther can you try not being a self-absorbed prick for five seconds?”

Luther continued, unaffected by the interference, “-if this is your way of trying to protest me being Number One, Diego- then you obviously don’t care about the Umbrella Academy at all and the rest of you are disrespecting Dad by even _listening_ to-”

Diego’s hackles rose and the probability of an argument skyrocketed.

Five was trying to calculate whether them having a fight would side-track everyone enough that they wouldn’t circle back to the reason of why they were all here- and if so, how likely it was that they would bump the walls and mess up his equations if they did. He was just determining the probabilities and weighing up whether it would be worth it when fate- in the form of Klaus’s big mouth- intervened.

“Vanya has powers!” Klaus interrupted Luther’s rant.

Diego, Luther and Allison froze.

“What?”

Five threw his hands up in the air and sarcasm coated his words, “Great, now we’re yelling about it. What a _great_ kept secret we have here.”

He sounded pissed, but his eyes were fixed on Vanya- waiting to see how she would react, so the moment she gave the word he would either be begging them to keep silent or issuing death threats. Vanya seemed to be fiddling with her sleeve- though Five could see she was feeling for her pulse to keep her grounded. He was about to offer his own wrist, so she could distance herself from the panic and start counting breaths, when their siblings rallied.

Luther was the first to recover, denial etched in every line of his face and painted his inflection, “She’s Number Seven.”

His tone was final, as if by stating her numerical status Luther had thereby dismissed all rumours or evidence to the contrary.

“What are you talking about?” Diego questioned, confused before enunciating very clearly, “Vanya’s _ordinary_.”

(But Allison was shaking her head, a pained look drawn on her face. Memories, vague ones, but memories all the same, came floating back to her- of a tunnel and a dark room and ‘ _I heard a rumour…_ ’

She concentrated hard and the end of the phrase drifted just within her reach: ‘… _that you think you’re ordinary’.)_

“But she’s not, is she?” Allison murmured.

Her siblings shot her quizzical looks, but Five’s eyes snapped to hers.

“Do you remember what happened?”

“There was a vault build underground. A cell,” Allison’s voice was faraway, but then horror filled her as she realised what her memory fragment meant. “And I- oh my god- did I rumour-” 

She broke off as the pain in her mind increased. Allison regained her composure- _surely,_ she was wrong. She’d never remembered anything like this, why would she remember that now? Five watched as she squashed her memories away.

As Allison was pulling herself together, with everything she had been told and the things she remembered clashed in her mind, Luther wasn’t having it.

“What are you talking about, Klaus? Five?”

_‘Why don’t you ask Vanya?’_ Five wanted to bite at him.

“If this is some sort of point you’re try to prove or a joke, i-it’s not funny,” Diego added, though less incensed than Luther, who continued.

“Look Five, I get that you’ve been weird since you got back and saw the apocalypse but now you’re dragging Vanya into your delusions-” 

That was a mistake. Klaus sucked in a breath as Ben shook his head softly and Diego reached to make sure he had his knives, while Allison winced.

Five was about to tell Luther _exactly_ where he could shove it (because it was one thing to question Five’s sanity, but it was another _entirely_ to imply Vanya was a blind follower like Luther) moving to get in his face, but he never got the chance. Vanya’s eyes flashed dangerously and the slight, almost unnoticeable tremors- that Vanya had been fighting to keep that way as they talked- suddenly became a lot more pronounced, as the tide of her emotions rose.

“ _What did you say?"_ Her voice was low, but her powers obviously were taking effect as Five’s desk shook in place and his bed frame made a clinking noise as it moved.

The battle Vanya had been having to keep her powers contained was lost, as her feelings overwhelmed her.

They all looked around and unease settled thickly over them, as they glanced back to their livid ( _glowing?)_ sister. Klaus and Ben had of course heard about Vanya’s powers, but they hadn’t seen them; while Allison was suddenly thrown head-first back into the memories she had just repressed, Diego and Luther were ready to fight and looking for the threat.

Luther looked rather green around the gills as Vanya said, “Go on Number One, I’m _sure_ you had more you wanted to say. Sure you don’t want to have another go at Five’s mental state or the sister you never talk to?”

With every word, the shaking got stronger. A lamp crashed to the floor, the base shattering, and the dart board Five had filched off Diego when he made a stupid bet fell from where it was hung on the wall, making a larger clatter. The chairs began to jiggle up and down, air under the legs for milliseconds at a time. The glass panes in the windows trembled as the floor beneath their feet vibrated, a hum filling the room.

“W-what’s ha-ha-hap-pening?” Diego asked, stutter coming back in full force.

“Who’s doing this?” Luther demanded.

Five ignored both of them. Jumping to Vanya to save time, he took her hands- any noise he made could potentially fuel her powers or overwhelm her and that was not what they needed right now. Instead, he squeezed them lightly.

_‘Come back Vanya, just come back,’_ he urged mentally. He felt the moment she realised what had happened, the tremors having a sudden uptick as fear took hold and she closed her eyes.

Five put her fingers on his pulse as he quietly whispered, “Hey it’s ok. You’re fine, just breathe with me, yeah? In, two, three, four, five. Hold, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four, five, six.”

He repeated it over and over. Slowly, the movement settled, and the room became still again. Vanya’s eyes opened and her sigh of relief was distinctly audible in the quiet room.

“So, Vanya has powers. Anything else we’ve been missing?”

———————————————————————

Explaining the evidence they’d managed to piece together, finally the whole of the Umbrella Academy was filled in on the discovery and nature of Number Seven’s powers.

And even though no one expressly said it, Luther seemed to have realised that he might be Number One for his father, but not the most powerful the Academy had to offer.

(He had always assumed since he was Number One, he was the best of the Academy, whose abilities were the most powerful and useful. Super-strength was versatile, naturally aggressive and was easily harnessed. Allison and Klaus’s powers weren’t as useful in a battle scenario- more emotional and psychological subterfuge- and Diego’s were only really functional in a very specific scenario. Five’s jumping wasn’t inherently aggressive (though he knew how to wield it as a weapon) and Luther had managed to convince himself that while Ben may have the Eldritch terrors, Luther could _control_ his powers. He was Number One; thus, Luther was the best.

But Vanya was Number Seven. And her power was in sound- easily accessible and convenient- as well as being far more destructive than Luther could ever hope for and as soon as she was trained, she would be able to have massive effects on a wide range. Anything he had thought about being the most powerful was wrong.

Quite simply, Luther was not the best.)

Luther had always drawn a lot of his personality and self-confidence from his role as Number One- on being the one closest to Father, on being the leader, on being _powerful_. Finding out it didn’t mean anything near what he had thought it had, Luther was hurt. He wanted to prove he _was_ the best- or maybe not have to prove it, maybe just for everyone to accept it as they had before they found out about Vanya.

(Of course, no one else was thinking about Luther- but an inflated sense of self-importance was fairly essential to surviving the training of the Umbrella Academy and so Luther’s delusions seemed, to him, to be the only reality.)

That was why when Five was describing the things Vanya could do, Luther jumped in. “Is it safe for her to be doing this without experience?”

“Well, how’s she going to get experience if we wrap her in bubble-wrap, Luther?” Allison responded, still a little shaken at the revelation that she had played any part in Reginald’s cover-up- and while Vanya had assured her that it wasn’t her fault, the guilt still clung to her.

“That’s why I’m training her. But now everyone knows, we could probably draw a little bit from everyone’s training, since we don’t know the exact mechanics of how Vanya’s powers work,” Five said, keeping his voice even.

“Isn’t she- well isn’t she _dangerous?”_

“No,” Five said flatly, the short reply indicating a sharpness that Five would have no problem translating into a threat- because Vanya did _not_ need more battering of her confidence for trying to work out how her powers worked.

Luther apparently didn’t hear it. “It’s just that from what you’re saying, it sounds like she could hurt someone. Why don’t we put her back on the pills- maybe a smaller dosage? Dad wouldn’t have put her on the pills if it weren’t for Vanya’s health.”

Ben was usually fairly quiet. With all his family, he had fairly non-turbulent relationships (probably the best of the whole family in honesty) and with Luther, he tended not to make a meaningful connection, but rather keep a civil tone with. But hearing _that_ broke something in him.

(Maybe it was because that so easily could have been Ben. He couldn’t control the monster much, it was dangerous. Reginald could have chosen to keep him medicated, and they would be having this conversation about whether to nullify Ben’s powers and sedate _him_.

As much as his powers sometimes scared him, as much as not being normal had cost them a normal life, as a normal child, there was something generally understood in the Umbrella Academy- especially among those who had to work harder to control their powers and couldn’t just _turn them off_. They might not always like it, but their powers were a part of them. Their abilities were what made them into the people they had become- and to have those numbed; it was like to numb part of their personality or a limb. Vanya was so much happier off that medication- which Ben did not believe for a _second_ did anything more than serve Reginald’s purpose- and she deserved to know about herself.)

“Oh, fuck _off_ Luther. It’s Vanya’s decision, not anyone else’s, whether she goes back on the medication- but it’s pretty fucking obvious that she’s not going to be doing that, because she doesn’t need it."

Luther looked like he wanted to interrupt then, but Ben was just getting warmed up, "Also, all of us are dangerous? I literally have a monster inside me, and Diego could skewer you six ways to Sunday- if there is anyone Vanya is going to be safe with, it’s the Umbrella Academy. And here’s a fun fact brought to you by the forgotten children: Reginald is not a good person. He hires us out like mercenaries- he made _children_ into weapons. He doesn’t love any of us and I will sooner loose the monster on you before you tell _Dad_ a word about this.”

Five smirked, glad that someone echoed his thoughts, and Vanya murmured a soft thanks to Ben, keeping her eye on Luther.

Noticing the time, they all had to hurry to dinner- all of them left with busy minds and mixed feelings.

Luther- feeling properly cowed for his behaviour and greatly regretting having let his jealousy overtake him now that Allison kept glaring at him- spoke to Vanya before he left.

“I’m sorry Vanya, I shouldn’t have said that." At her non-response and Five's judgemental gaze, Luther felt obligated to continue, "I just- that’s a really cool power to have and made me realise maybe being Number One is just a title,” he scuffed his feet on the floor slightly, uncomfortable with being so open.

Vanya smiled gently, “I know how important being Number One is to you Luther. You’re the leader. Finding out about this is hard, I’m adjusting to everything as well, I just hope we can not argue, and all get along.”

She wasn’t going to apologise- she had done enough of that just for existing- but she wanted Luther to know that she understood where he was coming from, and Vanya wasn’t going to be a part of any of the power politics.

“Of course. I really am sorry Vanya,” Luther said, meeting her eye now.

“I know you are,” Vanya responded, and squeezed his arm to let him know that they were ok.

Vanya caught Allison as she was leaving to give her a hug- the apologies they both whispered were accepted; not telling about powers and rumours were forgiven. As they parted Allison said

“Girl’s night tomorrow? I’ve got to hear all about this hand-holding.”

Vanya rolled her eyes but grinned in response and then Allison nudged her, giggling as she added, "I might have to wait though, looks like he wants to talk to you- spill all the details later!”

As her sister disappeared, Vanya turned to Five.

“Just wanted to check how you were,” Five said, examining her features for any traces of being upset.

“Maybe Luther is right,” Vanya sighed quietly. “Maybe I should go on my medication again. I thought I was getting somewhere with the training but today I-”

“Today you did amazing Vanya. You didn’t break anything-” At her unimpressed look, he amended his statement with a laugh. “Ok, you broke one really ugly lamp. That’s progress.”

Vanya wasn’t convinced. “I still didn’t do well- I let it overwhelm me again, I didn’t stay calm.”

Five’s argument was unmoved. “Progress isn’t linear, but you used the techniques and regained control. And you slowed it all down- you were using your powers as you controlled them, rather than just pulling the plug on feeling everything.”

“What if I’d hurt someone?”

Obviously, Luther had hit some sore spots.

“But you didn’t Vanya. You didn’t. And from here, the only way is up. You can’t be afraid of this- it’s a part of you, and you’re too incredible not to get to know yourself. But look, if you really want to go back on the medication- of course you can.”

Five held his tongue- he couldn’t express how much he _didn’t_ want that, but he couldn’t put words in her mouth. Vanya had to make her own decision, and Five would support it, even if he didn’t like it, and would make sure she stayed safe.

“I don’t want to go back to the pills.”

“Then don’t,” Five said simply.

“How do you make everything sound so easy? What if I’m doing something monumentally wrong by not considering the consequences of my actions?” Vanya groaned.

“I trust you Vanya. I trust our siblings. And I trust me,” Vanya snorted at that, and Five smiled back as he continued. “We can handle it. We’re the Umbrella Academy.”

Vanya grinned, a thought suddenly striking her. “How would you feel about Umbrella Academy yoga sessions then? I feel like all of us- you _especially_ \- could benefit from finding inner peace.”

“I’ll be moral support,” Five deadpanned and Vanya laughed.

She linked her arm with his as they walked down the hallway together, arm in arm, and Five knew that if she asked, he would walk to the ends of the earth for her.

(He stole a look over at her then, the golden light filtering across her face- like it had when they went walking in the park after going to the library, like it had when they raced back from Griddy’s, like it did ever afternoon he spent with her and made her look far too delicate and brilliant and _good_ to be real. And in that moment, Five was suddenly aware of a thought that had been bouncing around his brain for a lot longer than he would ever admit.

Five wanted to kiss her. He wanted to kiss Vanya, badly, and he sure as hell knew now wasn’t the right time- but dammit, if it wasn’t tempting.

The little smile on her face, the slight skip in her step, the tune he could hear her idly humming, the way her eyes lit up with laughter and intelligence and kindness-

There were a million things about her that he loved (because he had always loved her, and he doesn’t think he could stop any more than he could stop _breathing_ ) but they weren’t the _reason_ he loved her. Quite simply, it felt as if he would rather spend every moment with her than anyone else.

Vanya was the most wonderful part of his existence by a mile and one day he was going to tell her.

But for now, he just let the thought of kissing her linger in his mind and a smile light up his face as she bumped her hip against his.)

So there was probably yoga in his near future, but with Vanya, maybe Five had already found nirvana.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so, this chapter is a lil bit more angsty but I was re-reading and I realised no one ever apologised to Vanya? And that's a crime of epic proportions, so here is the result of building relationships on shaking origins and then having rising tension! Assertive!Vanya makes an appearance and I've got to say, I'm not hating it. 
> 
> Who knows what I'm doing, but I'm having fun doing it! 
> 
> Also, really quick, just wanted to thank you all for reading and being so lovely- the idea that people are not only reading my work but liking it?! It's crazy and I appreciate the support! 
> 
> Leave a comment to let me know what you think of this chapter, enjoy!

It seemed like everything was finally going to come together.

The Umbrella Academy was (in part) united by a secret, and the common goal to keep it that way. Vanya was finally being accepted instead of ignored, and it seemed as if there would be no problems with integrating Vanya into the Umbrella Academy- unofficially, but as a recognised member amongst the children.

Unfortunately, things often aren’t as they seem.

——————————————————————

There is often an attraction about the idea of once again being young. What most people forget about being children, about being teenagers, is that it fucking sucks.

You have no idea who you are or what the fuck you’re doing but you just pray it looks like you do- and most of the time, when you look back on it, you regret doing a heap of the shit that you did. Because people don’t _miss_ being young.

They don’t miss the acne, the awkwardness, the lack of confidence and knowledge and composure. No. People miss not being held accountable for their actions.

They miss being a child and being able to lash out (and maybe not being self-aware enough to _realise_ that they’re being stupid or irrational and have hurt someone’s feelings) and when all is said and done, a half-hearted apology of ‘I’m sorry’ with averted eyes is enough to wipe the slate clean again.

When you’re an adult, you’ve got hindsight and a conscience deal with, not to mention that the other person is going to hold onto that hurt for a lot longer than a shitty apology can erase.

Being a teenager is a weird balancing act, because on one hand, you’re _painfully_ aware of yourself, but on the other, you’re also probably the most self-entitled you’ll ever be - unless you end up being in the minority which the modern world caters to and thus never face accountability for your actions or any obstacles on your way through life.

(And on top of that, there is no doubt that your eyes will be painfully wrenched open at some point- maybe not if you are in the aforementioned privileged group, but everyone else surely- to reveal the grandest secret of the universe: quite simply, you are not top shit. You are not as important as you think you are, nor as wonderful as your primarily ego-centric worldview would have you believing, so now it’s time to sit down and shut the fuck up while the world gives you a quick crash course in just how much you don’t matter before you go into the world and/or workforce.)

In the Umbrella Academy, these two sides of the same coin were fickle as fate. Having thousands of people know your name and having hundreds scream it tended to make for self-entitlement to detestable extremes, but with Reginald, everyone knew their place. Perhaps the only person in the house with a shred of self-awareness was Vanya, her eyes having been opened to not mattering from an age far younger than she should have.

They say ‘Ignorance is bliss’. If that’s true, the rest of the Umbrella Academy must have been living in ecstasy. Diego and Luther both had massively inflated senses of self-importance and no concept of the insignificance of their petty rivalry. Allison was self-involved and absorbed to a shocking extreme, and despite whatever intentions she may have, her mindless ignorance and vanity harmed more than whatever good-hearted sentiments she may endorse. Klaus and Ben were more aware- though largely due to their lower status on the totem pole of the Academy- but still yet to learn the true price of their actions and how to prioritise someone else’s needs over their own wants.

Had Five been making an assessment on this before he time-travelled, he would have easily been able to say that _yes_ he knew he was egotistical and arrogant and not conscious of the affect his actions had whatsoever.

But he had seen the fucking apocalypse. He might have thought his eyes were open before- in the fictional kind of way we all pretend ours are to sound worldly until the true magnitude of the latest monstrosity hits us- but how Five was wrong. Standing amid the destruction which had finally eliminated humans, effectively ending their chapter in the history of Earth, Five’s eyes had been yanked open, and he was dragged from the illusion he had been under.

Whatever blood he may have had on his hands before was nothing compared to the flood he would be responsible for if he didn’t stop the end of the world. The sober realisation of just what his impossible task was jarring, as the destruction reminded him of how small, how insignificant, how _fragile_ he was. His confidence had been wrecked, his self-awareness spiked and thus the perfect conditions had been made for an existential crisis. The reevaluation of his life was one he could never have made had be still been as self-assured as he had been the morning he set out. Five had changed- and for the better, _Vanya_ made him better.

A crucial thing to remember is that neglect or ignorance isn’t always hateful- sometimes it’s simply oblivious, though that doesn’t change ramifications of these actions (or non-actions to be more precise). And this is from where the next events spiralled- because they might not have shown it, they might not have even been aware it was there, but egotism doesn’t simply disappear.

It had been a normal day- nothing out of the ordinary so far, except that Vanya’s violin was being repaired, so instead of practicing, she was meant to be doing her schoolwork- which she had already finished earlier in the afternoon. When she heard her siblings coming up from training, she gave them some time to catch their breath and reorganise themselves before she went seeking company from anyone (because Five had warned her that Reginald was working through the Academy for specialised training one at a time, Vanya knew she wouldn’t see him until after dinner).

Walking down the hallway, she heard whispers coming from Allison’s room. Vanya poked her head in to see Luther and Allison sitting on her bed, holding hands.

“Hey guys, what are you doing?”

Allison laughed in that way of hers that she did when she was uncomfortable as she stood up and walked over to Vanya.

“We’re busy Vanya, isn’t it obvious? Can you leave us alone?”

The door shut in her face.

That hurt. It was like a knife slipped through her ribs and stabbed at her heart- somehow it was three years, six months, three weeks before and Vanya _wasn’t wanted, why don’t you just go away?_

Of course though, she was overreacting- it wasn’t so strange that they wanted her to leave, Vanya just needed to learn not to take it personally. She wandered away, ignoring the sinking lead in her stomach- _they don’t like you, why don’t you just leave everyone alone-_ and found herself away from the bedrooms.

“Hey, what’re you up to?” Vanya asked, stepping into the library and to find Ben poring over a piece of paper with books scattered around him.

He didn’t look up, still writing as he replied flatly, “English assignment.”

“Oh? What on?” Vanya asked hopefully.

“Shakespeare. Richard III.” He didn’t elaborate further.

Vanya tried one more time, “Is it good?”

“Hmm? Oh yeah, I suppose,” Ben responded absently as he flicked through his copy of the play.

Vanya knew Ben would never _tell_ her to leave- he was too polite to say that to her, but obviously he didn’t want her here. She shouldn’t have interrupted him while he was working- that was stupid and selfish _._

(Her siblings had already been so nice to her for bearing the daily annoyances she brought to them, Vanya shouldn’t be making any more trouble for them)

Her exit from the library was just as unnoticeable as her entrance.

“Go away.” Diego’s surly reply reached her ears before she even stepped across the threshold of his door.

He sat, sharpening his knives, scowl written into his features and Vanya turned away without another word.

Vanya was walking back to her room- more than a little hurt, because somehow Vanya couldn’t seem to get it right- when she passed Allison’s room again. This time, she couldn’t hear Luther, but her sister gushing to Klaus. It sounded like Luther had finally kissed her- probably on the cheek given his _boundless_ courage, but Allison was audibly aflutter with delight.

And Allison had only sought out Klaus to talk about it. Not Vanya- even though she had listened to Allison go on about it for hours, even though Allison claimed she _needed_ Vanya for the analysis on Luther.

It didn’t matter. It didn’t. No one was under any obligation to talk to Vanya. She shouldn’t have gone about disturbing everyone anyway.

Why did she think that anything had ever truly changed?

So Vanya had powers. That took away the thing that had originally separated them, but from that segregation, so many changes had taken place. Vanya had grown up in such different conditions- the kind of emotional neglect she had suffered was different to the rest of her siblings, she didn’t bounce back from rejection as easily. Because while for them, rejection was just a training exercise, for her it meant isolation and silence for _years._

They might be seeming to be trying to support her now, but in the Umbrella Academy, actions spoke louder than words- when every whispered admission was recorded and could be twisted, actions were fleeting but solid and true.

As much as Luther may claim he was _‘fine with it_ ’, as much as Allison may make overtures to do _‘girly things_ ’, as much as Klaus may loudly pronounce ‘ _love you babe_ ’ in passing to Vanya, what did it matter?

What did it matter, when Luther trained harder and came down on the rest of them harsher to prove he was still Number One; when Allison just as easily forgot about Vanya in the flurry of excitement and gossip, and so much more often felt a little like Vanya was merely an interest story than her sister; what did it matter, when Klaus’s words were empty in the way they are when you have a relationship that one (or both) sides seem to feign being closer than they actually are, and somehow one person is obviously more invested in the friendship of the other?

What did it matter, when despite all their assurances to want to help, to want to repair their relationships with Vanya, she was still the one somehow getting hurt?

——————————————————————

At dinner, Five didn’t notice anything wrong.

He wasn’t a mind reader (nor did he want to be, he didn’t need to know every little asinine thought that floated through the minds of many) and things had been going so smoothly, he had just somehow assumed that they would continue to go smoothly, especially after Five not-so-subtly hinted to Luther that if he even breathed a word of any of it to Reginald, he would dump him in the middle of the ocean and be sure he never came back. Luther seemed sure (about 83% sure, truth be told, if only because he doesn’t know whether Five would cut-throat enough to sneak up on him in his sleep) that he wouldn’t do it- though the dangerous light in Five’s eyes told him not to test it.

After dinner though, when he drew the story out of Vanya and he could see she was upset, he knew he had been stupidly optimistic to assume, since everyone knew about Vanya’s powers now, that anything would have fundamentally changed. While Vanya still sought their affection and closer relationships with all of them, they were all _idiots._ His siblings were still oblivious to the hurt they caused Vanya by ignoring her and making her feel like crap- or worse, they simply didn’t seem to _care_ that Vanya was hurting.

Five, however, was more than happy to point it out to them.

The next day brought Vanya pretending like everything was fine, and Five knowing that it _wasn’t_ and more training, which thereafter Five decided to have an impromptu chat with his siblings.

“Hey there guys, anyone want to tell me why you’re all still being dicks to Vanya?”

Five didn’t claim that he was subtle, nor sensitive to delicate sensibilities. His style was ugly and efficient, and it worked like a charm.

“What?”

“You think I don’t notice you all still ignoring her for the most part?”

Silence met his question, which Five was grateful for because he didn’t want to have to explain to Luther (again) what rhetorical meant. Instead, there was some shuffling of feet and averting of eyes, as if a teacher had just asked something and no one wanted to be called on to answer it. That was fine; Five was more than happy to pick from the audience.

“You said you’d try, Luther, to be a good leader for the Umbrella Academy- fat lot of good you’re doing when you take _every opportunity_ to show that you’re the best just because you can lift a couple hundred pounds. If you were really a good Number One or a leader then you’d know that this is a lot harder on Vanya than it is on you. So get your head out of your ass- it’s not a hat- and maybe actually try not being so self-absorbed for five seconds.”

“That’s rich coming from you-“ Luther began hotly, rising from his seat to try and impose his height on Five.

Five had a way of commanding a room- he demanded respect and had the air of one who was not to be trifled with- so when Luther stood up, Five stepped up to him, not backing down. His anger made his presence ten times bigger and in spite of their height difference, there was no mistaking who was the authority.

“Is it? Ok, Luther, when _you_ invent time-travel and see the apocalypse, _then_ you can be an asshole. Until then, how about you just sit down?”

Before he could watch his brother slowly sink back into his seat, Five rounded on Allison.

“And you’re supposed to be friends with her, Allison, and you slammed the door in her face yesterday! Do you ever think about anyone else or are we all just supporting roles for the one big Oscar-award-winning movie that you seem to think your life is?”

Ignoring her weak protests, Five turned his fury-fuelled flames onto his remaining siblings. He gestured at Diego, Klaus and Ben altogether.

“You three just _ignore_ her and if you think she doesn’t notice, then you’re wrong. Vanya notices everything because none of us used to even _look at her_ and no one has apologised to her- not for icing her out for years, not for being rude and condescending when you did talk to her, and not for the fact that you still don’t realise horrible you’re all being!”

Vanya, bored and waiting for Five to return so they could begin their training, noticed Five was delayed in returning- which probably just meant Reginald was holding them all in, because today there was no extra training.

To help speed up the process for when Five did arrive, Vanya decided to do some of the exercises she had learnt about opening herself up to her surroundings and widening her hearing range.

Unfortunately, Time (likely still annoyed about Five jumping through it and messing up just about everything) was capricious- deciding that Fortune had been just a little too kind in the Umbrella Academy of late. So Vanya was just coming into listening range when she heard the unmistakable sound of Allison’s raised voice.

“You know what Five? I’m not sorry- she’s not even part of the Academy!” Allison’s temper, stung by the implications and insults Five had slung at both her and Luther, (and maybe twinge of jealousy at how Five defended Vanya when Allison knew no one would ever do something like that for her) swung out wildly as she threw the accusation out. As soon as she said it, she wished she hadn’t. 

Allison tried to backpedal, “I mean, she doesn’t have to do the training, she doesn’t go on missions- she doesn’t even go to classes with us! Vanya might have powers but that doesn’t make her a part of the Umbrella Academy. You have to agree, Five.”

Vanya didn’t need to hear anymore. The sounds told her there were six people in that room- and Allison’s speech told her Five was definitely there. Allison hated her, her other siblings either agreed or were apathetic and Five was complicit in the airing of all complaints about Vanya.

(Maybe, in one dark corner of her mind, Vanya had been waiting for this. Everything was going too well, it had almost seemed as if she might be more than simply ordinary Number Seven. She couldn’t have expected it to last- Vanya couldn’t have expected that Five actually liked her)

She took, not her violin (because the last thing she needed was a breakdown with her powers right now, and to _feel_ all of it- the betrayal and the loneliness and the heartbreak she didn’t want to acknowledge), but a book as she left her room and damped her hearing- not really caring where she went, just so long as Five couldn’t find her.

Five smiled emotionlessly at Allison. All his anger had left him, as he realised that (while it looked like he had gotten through to Klaus, Diego, Ben and even Luther, albeit begrudgingly) Allison wasn’t going to respond to Five laying out the facts before her. She would have to come to terms with it all on her own.

“No, Allison. I actually don’t have to agree. Because I have seen what the end of the world looks like, and I’ve decided not to be an entitled and self-absorbed prick for the whole of my life. Obviously you have a lot of growing up to do, because you can’t seem to fathom a lifetime where not everything is about you. Vanya does, and I do, and I think our siblings might be doing some thinking over it now since I’m not usually one to involve myself in everyone’s affairs- so maybe when I do, there’s a good reason.”

He prepared to jump before thinking of one last thing, flashing a proper smirk this time. “And Allison? If you hurt Vanya again, I’ll make sure I hurt you worse.”

Five jumped through space, landing in Vanya’s room, and looked around for her.

“Vanya?” He asked, turning in place.

“Vanya!” Five jumped from bedroom, to the outside of the vacant bathroom, to the library, to the roof, to his own room, and yet Vanya was nowhere to be found.

———————————————————

Vanya was at dinner though, once again pretending that everything was fine. When Five came into her room, Vanya didn’t scream or cry or do any of the hundreds of other things she wanted to. Instead, very calmly, and in a measured tone she said,

“I heard you guys, this afternoon.”

Five’s blood ran cold. He’d wanted to protect her from this- that’s why he’d brought it up with his siblings- but it seemed it was all for nothing.

“Sorry about that, but they were way out of line-” 

“From what I heard, it didn’t sound like it Five. In fact, it sounded a lot like you agreed.”

“What were _you_ listening to?” Five asked, a little snakily, as his temper- still angered from the encounter with his siblings and not being able to find Vanya afterwards- rose again.

“I just heard that I wasn’t a part of the Umbrella Academy,” her voice shaking slightly, but she was glad that none of the other objects in the room were, “And I didn’t hear anyone say anything to contradict that.”

Five was about to tell her exactly what they had talked about when he was distracted by her second statement. “You really think I would just let them talk about you like that?”

“I don’t know Five, you tell me. You talk a big game, but you had barely even looked at me a few months ago- and now I’m supposed to believe you care about me more than the siblings you haven’t been ignoring for years? God. I was so stupid to think that you actually _cared._ ”

She fought to keep her voice as even as possible, despite the tears building in her eyes, but what she didn’t expect were Five’s next words.

“You’re right, Vanya.”

“What?” She had still been hoping she was wrong, about whatever she had heard, but to hear it from Five’s lips was all the worse.

“You’re right. We’ve been through a lot in these past few months and I _do_ really care about you- but I’ve been unfair.”

“What do you mean?” Five had completely thrown Vanya off.

“I never apologised to you. For everything. And I shouldn’t have become your friend,” that word burned on his tongue to say, but he got it out all the same, “without having properly cleared the slate.”

Vanya was confused now- about how any of this related to what Allison had said- but she left him finish all the same. “So I’m sorry Vanya-” 

“You don’t need to-” 

“Yeah, yeah I do,” Five interrupted.

He couldn’t demand his siblings to apologise and try harder when he had done exactly what they had- he might have been more persistent, but he’d also just ignored the fact that Vanya had been neglected and isolated and in part that it had been his fault.

Five continued, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry that you were alone for so long because none of us talked to you. And I’m sorry that we made you ever feel like you weren’t a part of the Academy. You didn’t deserve that and we all should- no, _I should_ have tried harder.”

Vanya’s lip trembled- she hadn’t known how much she actually needed to hear those words. But the real surprise of her life was when Five met her gaze with glassy eyes. He drew in a sharp, steadying breath before he added even more sincerely,

“I’m sorry it took so long for me to realise I was being a cowardly asshole, because I wish I hadn’t spent so many years being and making you miserable.”

_How could he say he loved her,_ Five thought, _when had never apologised?_ He was angry at himself and Five wished he had mastered time-travel just so he could go back and redo all those lost years when they were both alone.

“And I’m sorry that I _ever_ made you think that _I thought_ that you were anything less than incredible,” he finally ran out of steam and the self-consciousness (that he only ever seemed to feel around Vanya, go figure) caused him to ramble slightly. “Because you are. Incredible, that is.”

Five probably would have gone on to stick his foot in his mouth, had Vanya not hugged him.

“Thank you. But you know you’ve already been forgiven,” she whispered.

“I know. But I still needed you to know,” Five murmured back.

—————————————————————————

Clearing up the misunderstanding didn’t take long when Vanya admitted she hadn’t listened to the rest of the conversation and Five offered to show her the tape- which he had taken from the records room because he had been stupid enough to have the chat within range of one fo the cameras. Vanya, however, was content to listen to Five’s recount of events, complete with sarcastic commentary.

After he had finished, Five went to once more apologise but Vanya interrupted him, “No more apologies. I know you were just trying to help, but you aren’t responsible for what everyone else was doing. I think we did everything a little backwards, but you don’t have to say sorry about the past again- let’s just keep moving forwards.”

Five smiled, glad that amends had been made before he asked, “Are you ok?”

“No. But I think I have to talk to Allison myself.”

——————————————————————

When Vanya managed to catch Allison on her own, she wasted no time in bringing it up- perhaps Five’s bluntness had been rubbing off on her. “I heard you. Saying I wasn’t a part of the Academy.” 

Now Allison had regretted saying that- she still thought it was true, but not something she should have _said_. She opened her mouth- to apologise, to slander, to brush off, no one would ever know, because Vanya was tired of trying to seek validation from people who didn’t seem to care about her.

“I don’t want your hollow apologies,” Vanya said firmly.

When she had heard Five’s, she had realised she didn’t really need more heartfelt apologies.

What Vanya really wanted was to lay it out quite simply- because she finally had (if only) one friend and she was learning how to control her powers and she was healing. Vanya didn’t need Allison to say sorry just so that Allison would feel better about herself, Vanya just wanted to tell her sister the truth. She just wanted to be clear that she wasn’t alright with what Allison had said.

“I just wanted to tell you that it was hurtful, because I thought we were friends-” 

“We are! I just-“ Allison interrupted.

“No, we aren’t,” Vanya continued determinedly. “You just want to talk _about_ me, not _to_ me. Actually, not even about me- you want to talk about Five!”

Vanya took a deep breath, re-centred herself and then finished saying, “You are my sister- and I hope we can be closer one day, but I think it would be best if we were on equal footing.”

Allison blinked. “What do you mean?”

“When you want to talk to _me_ , not just have someone paint your nails or to chatter at about Luther, then you can come and find me. Until then… I think perhaps you need to learn not to think of me as just a source of gossip that’s easily ignored.”

Vanya hadn’t quite given Allison due credit. Since Five had returned and become friends with Vanya, she had begun to take more notice of the sister she so often forgot. Her overtures of friendship had been misguided though, because while gossiping about relationships made Allison feel important, it made Vanya feel as if Allison didn’t care about her as a person.

It’s unfortunate, but you come to realise that everyone had their own way of showing friendship and love, so it may be misconstrued easily.

Allison had sincerely wanted to be closer to her sister, but the petty resentment that simmered under the surface- cultivated by growing up in a competitive environment- made it difficult. It was far easier for Allison to ignore how Vanya might possibly be feeling and just immerse herself in worrying only about herself, so that was exactly what Allison had been doing. But when Vanya honestly told her sister that she didn’t like being neglected, the pain in her voice had been all too real.

That was Allison’s moment of realising that her actions affected other people.

It took a few days for Allison to adjust and build up her courage, before she came to Vanya’s door. Knocking lightly, it was flung open by a grinning Vanya, having just successfully finished playing a piece she had been working on for _days._ When she caught sight of Allison, her eyebrows raised in surprise.

Allison smiled unsurely before she said, “If- if it’s ok, I’d like to talk to you.”

“What about?” Vanya asked carefully, not exactly wanting a rematch but gearing up for it all the same. 

“Anything,” Allison answered, letting a little bit of her uncertainty colour her voice.

She needn’t have worried though, because Vanya’s answering grin was sincere and bright and Allison felt that maybe (if this was what happened when she was kinder) things would be different now.

(And thus Number Three, who had learnt to fight and manipulate and sow discontentment and unhappiness; Allison, who had been taught to breathe and eat and live, who had been taught to be obedient to the Academy and taught to loathe all but herself; thus this girl learned to love.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be a lot more fluffy I promise!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some insight into Vanya's training and fluff because I need it to survive! 
> 
> Let me know what you think, leave a comment and I hope you enjoy!

When people say, _'_ _Two steps forwards, one step back_ ,’ it’s often a lament at the lack of change, or a mocking jab at the impossibility of ever completing a task. Seldom is it acknowledged that it is still progress- perhaps slower, more hampered than you may have imagined but progress is precious.

Sometimes, it’s a reminder; a hope for a time when maybe every day _won’t_ be a fight- where you can get up, breathe and smile, when it’s not just getting through the day but living it.

Sometimes, it’s going back to do something over again and do it right- because when foundations are shaky, things start sinking faster than Venice.

Sometimes it’s just feeling the spirit of Gene Wilder from the 1971 version of Willy Wonka enter your body and you just have to do the two down, one back dance routine from ‘Pure Imagination’ on the stairs.

It doesn’t always have to be bad, sometimes it’s just weird.

Vanya was proof. It wasn’t a fast process to dismantle her entire belief system and adapt to the information that she _wasn’t_ ordinary when she had based so much of her personality on being so. Learning to trust the people she had always craved attention from- but knew better than to place all her confidence in- was a series of little steps, building from the ground up. But it was progress. Take the wins, recover from the losses but always moving forwards, even if just one step at a time.

Admittedly, it was slightly a sped-up version to what might have been if there hadn’t been mitigating circumstances- such as the time constraints of a strictly scheduled day that allowed for little interaction, the ever-looming presence of Reginald Hargreeves or, perhaps most noticeably, the interference of Five Hargreeves.

Five’s interventions were a gift that didn’t stop _giving_ , much to the chagrin of his siblings. None of them were particularly bothered that Vanya was his favourite- on the contrary, he had been a lot more bearable since he had become friends with her, and they were all grateful.

Never mind that the _reason_ he had been so abrasive before was because he had been alone and adrift, and having someone to care for and care for him in return had grounded him in all the right ways. The Umbrella Academy was a collection of damaged children and the ways that they coped weren’t always obvious, but it was difficult to begrudge anyone their strategies to get by- though Five certainly gave them a good crack with his constant quips.

(Five is pretty sure there’d be a good research project here in how biological markers and social hierarchies can impact the thinking functions of individuals, in particular to dealing with trauma, but that was _social science_ and there’d probably be a heap of dubious morals about running an experiment on it- even though it had been ‘legal’ for Reginald Hargreeves to do it not for science, but for profit, and to train children as soldiers for his own personal army. God bless capitalism _and_ America, right?

Then again, money has always greased the wheels of justice just as well- probably better if truth be told- as the wheels of commerce.)

So in the Umbrella Academy, upon noticing the developing relationship between Number Five and Number Seven, breaths had been released and bets placed on when (and who) would confess first- because they were not subtle _at all._

(They were lucky Reginald had been slowly checking out of the Umbrella Academy bubble as more questions started to be asked about their methods- whether they should be allowed to continue as a privatised group when they were so _deadly_ \- and then about the children as well, suspicions rising about their treatment at ‘home’ (as if any of them would ever call that place _home),_ because Five and Vanya were so un-subtle _._

It was bad timing on Reginald’s part, because they had just reached the phase all teenagers do when they realise not everything their parents or authority figures say is right, and rebelliousness was looking more tempting than ever. Maybe that was why it was so easy for Vanya and Five to convince their siblings to keep Vanya’s secret. The whole _'_ _getting to respect her and like her as a person_ ’ began to play in later, but defiance and idea of resistance was an attractive motive to begin with.)

Five had few firm goals in life- to excel was an expectation and escape from Reginald was imminent, but there were some things he hoped to do sooner rather than later. To help Vanya for one, (to tell her that he loved her very much in a _non-platonic way_ and would do just about anything to make her happy was another), to get his siblings all to be closer and get to know Vanya was a newer addition.

So when the opportunity arose to be working at both goals, Five took it without hesitation.

——————————————————————

“And _up_ into downward dog, just sit for a moment and really feel the stretch, even out your breathing. In for five, hold for four, and out for seven. You’re doing great,” Five sarcastically intoned from the front of the room.

Vanya rolled her eyes at him good-naturedly and Five shrugged, smirking, back at her- relishing in the attention she gave him, if only for a second, before refocusing.

He ignored the indignant and mocking stares of Klaus and Ben as he called out, “I’m not seeing feet flat on the floor! Make sure you’re stretching to get there- come on Klaus, that’s pathetic. At least try to put your heels down.”

“Why aren’t _you_ doing this, Five?” 

“Because I’m the instructor,” he brandished the book he was holding (a battered copy of the Yoga Sūtras of Patañjali from the library). “It says right here that the yoga instructor is ‘guiding all their yogis to enlightenment’. You are my yogis, I am the pathfinder, so sit down and shut up.”

It was rare to get a day off, but when the dictator was unexpectedly called away for a business opportunity in Italy, Reginald didn’t have time to make alternate arrangements. He’d taken Pogo with him- as he often did just to prove his ‘scientific prowess’ as an inventor- leaving only Grace to be an authoritative figure in the Academy.

Unfortunately for Mr Hargreeves, Grace's programming was easily exploited, as he had made her prioritise cleanliness above all else (he disliked messiness more than anything and when he had initially created Grace it had been during a time when all seven children created mess _constantly_ ) and as the children grew older they learned order and tidiness, so Reginald forgot to ever change her primary function.

It was a simple matter to distract Grace with chores- Five would have felt bad, except it was Reginald’s fault for making it so easily utilised to their advantage and Grace seemed fairly content- and then they were all free.

Doubtless, Reginald had left some work for them to do, but he was as inconsistent with their education as anything else, so chances were (and good chances too, Five had calculated the probability) that he would be so wrapped up in whatever business venture he made that he would forget all about his charges.

With their morning off, Vanya and Five _were_ going to do some training, but the rest of the Umbrella Academy didn’t take too kindly to being woken up early with the soothing tones of the violin. They had all come in to complain when Five had a ‘brilliant idea’ and somehow, never mind just _how_ , Vanya’s training had been commandeered as a yoga session led by Five.

Luther struggled with the flexibility required and Klaus didn’t really sit still for long enough to do the exercises properly (withdrawal symptoms were a bitch to deal with so Five distracted him the best way he knew how- with banter and sarcasm) while Diego was surprisingly limber and Ben, sitting next to Vanya, flowed gracefully from one pose to the next. Allison, on Vanya’s other side, was kept very busy on not falling over, though both girls broke out into giggles every few minutes (the building of a relationship was baby steps, but Allison was learning how to show she was there for Vanya the person, not Vanya the side-star).

Vanya herself was focused on Five and his instructions more than anything else, though she did find herself laughing when she couldn’t keep upright or Five broke out from simply reading the book to put his own spin on things (because _dammit Five how was she meant to concentrate on her breathing and inner peace when you’re being sarcastic?)._ The yoga actually did help Vanya quiet her mind- she was getting in the habit of it now, and finding it easier to do it when she felt her powers rising.

Of course, some thoughts were obstinate than others- and it didn’t help when the object was very much present and saying, “Now we’re going into Warrior II, even though we never learnt Warrior I, and there’s a fancy name for it… it says to pronounce it like vi-ra-bin-dras-an-a. Virabhadrasana. Looks like there’s a heap of etymology there but Luther is about to fall over so we’re not going into the Sanskrit meaning.”

Luther groaned out a thanks before cussing Five out as they moved into Tree Pose. With his lack of balance, Luther was a tree in an earthquake, wobbling a worrying amount and making everyone concerned whether they’re going trapped under in when it inevitably falls over.

“Five,” Vanya warned, though it didn’t really look like she meant it when she was grinning like that.

Allison seemed to be having a similar problem balancing, though she was handling it better, and Klaus kept putting his foot down as well. Five was surprised and amused; having 50% of the Academy actually doing the exercise correctly was better than the average Five thought they would be getting.

He grinned in response to Vanya before relenting and saying, “Ok, and into Tadasana, also called ‘Mountain Pose’ or ‘Just Stand There’, which I’m _pretty_ sure we can all handle-” 

“Fuck you too, Five,” Klaus responded eloquently.

“Language. This is a sacred space.”

Diego huffed out a laugh at that, and Vanya was biting her lip to keep in her own while Ben chuckled openly.

“An important part of yoga is meditation, according to this book, so you can choose whether you want to stand or sit for this,” Five told them, settling himself on the ground, crossing his legs and closing his eyes.

Vanya closed her eyes, falling into the now familiar feeling of organising her thoughts so that her mind was at peace. It didn’t really stay that way, thoughts were bound to float around because Vanya couldn’t just _stop_ but it was just a matter of catching them and folding them away for another time. Her mind wandered now, as she listened to the sounds outside- gentle breathing, the seven heartbeats in the room, the quiet swish of water as downstairs Grace mopped the floor, and beyond that, the chatter of people blocks away, the swoosh of passing cars and the pulse of the city, as if it were as alive and breathing as Vanya was.

She became accustomed to the background noise and let herself drift a little, stillness settling over her body and relaxing into the blankness of merely existing. In that moment, she could have been anywhere- lying on a bed in a hostel somewhere in Europe, sleeping standing up as a soldier at sea, an exhausted runner after a marathon resting on the ground, a child on the grass staring up at the endless constellations and clouds who had blinked for just a moment. Possibility flowed through her and time was irrelevant.

She was anyone but Vanya Hargreeves, Number Seven in the Umbrella Academy.

Then, slowly, Vanya brought herself back. She tuned into each noise individually, felt the floor under her back and the light breeze filtering through the open window above her washing over her face. For training purposes, she needn’t lose herself in meditation- rather, it was better if she just emptied her mind, but Vanya found that it could be easier to drop trivial thoughts if for a moment she had no more connection to her body than as a vessel to carry her soul from room to room.

As she settled back, some thoughts returned. Ones that she had been having trouble dispelling for a while.

For while with all her other relationships with her siblings had taken a slight step back after their apology, somehow her and Five’s did the opposite, being as close as ever- maybe it was because she already trusted him and didn’t feel the need to rebuild their foundations because he had been clear that he respected and cared for her. But in what way?

Vanya couldn’t very well just ask him- _hey Five, I noticed you’re a lot more tactile with me and you laugh and smile with me a lot and I was just wondering whether that’s a ‘you’re my platonic favourite’ thing or it’s a ‘I don’t think of you as my sister’ kind of way, because I don’t think of you as my brother, I actually kind of really want to kiss you if that’s ok with you?_

That would go down _great._

Five was an enigma- he might always say exactly what he was thinking, but there was so much he didn’t say, either because he assumed it was obvious or he had decided that they were not thoughts necessary to be voiced. Sometimes it was like pulling teeth to try and drag out of Five what he really wanted to say, which made it really hard for Vanya to tell if she was just seeing the things she wanted to see and reading too much into it.

She couldn’t tell and the only way to shut down those thoughts was to meditate and clear her mind or actually ask Five.

Vanya foresaw a large amount of meditation and yoga in her future.

Five did not think he was particularly enigmatic. He was blunt and rude and sarcastic, leaving very little in doubt in the way of interpretation. Somehow though, Vanya didn’t seem to notice his blundering attempts at telling her _hey yeah actually I’m in love with you._

It was trickier than it looked, because Five did want to tell her, but as soon as he did tell her then there was a chance things would change forever, and Five wasn’t sure he liked the permanence that outcome held.

Meditation wasn’t really Five’s style - but he had promised Vanya he would participate so he sat still and listened. He could hear soft exhales of air and his own steady heart beat, the light wind outside and the faint sound of traffic- Five wondered what Vanya could hear in all that, if there was someone down there having a weird conversation that Vanya would recount to him later or a car alarm going off that was grating at her peace of mind.

He smiled faintly as he remembered how enraged Vanya had been the first time that had happened and how training that day had been all about tuning out some sounds and focusing on others.

Five’s mind never really fully quieted, so he waited another few minutes before calling an end to it, as per the book recommended.

“Our time has ended, go forth in pe-ace,” his voice cracked.

There was silence and for a moment, a stupid, oblivious, uncharacteristically hopeful moment, Five thought they weren’t going to acknowledge it.

The sudden uproar of raucous laughter told him he was optimistic to even entertain the idea.

“Could you repeat that for us Five? I don’t think we quite got it!”

_“_ Fuck off,” Five responded, but he couldn’t quite keep the smile off his face at the broad grin that adorned Vanya’s.

“I thought this was a sacred space? Or is it not now that we’re all going in pe-ace,” Vanya imitated his voice crack.Her eyes shone with mischief and her laughter was as loud as the others as she gently poked fun.

Five rolled his eyes, as he picked up the library book from off the floor, “You’re all four year-olds, the lot of you.”

It took a while for their laughter to abate, and even longer to herd them all out until it was just Five and Vanya.

“ _Great_ yoga session. I think it’s a potential career option for you to keep open,” Vanya said, grinning at Five, and gesturing. “You know, namaste, pe-ace and all that.”

Five raised his eyebrow at her and Vanya laughed. "It’s still not as bad as the one Luther had when you guys were doing that interview, remember? It was on the radio and I could hear all of you laughing.”

Five smirked lightly at the fond memory before saying, “I suppose it’s karma then.”

“Must be,” Vanya agreed, looking a little more thoughtful.

The two wandered down the hall and Vanya said, in a less abstract tone, “Today would be a good day to see if Klaus or Ben had some time to give me some tips on training.”

No sooner had the words left her mouth that both brothers in question appeared and Ben, hearing the question, assured her

“Of course. How about after lunch we do a training session?”

————————————————————————————

A time was agreed on and Vanya was excited to hear some strategies from people with similar powers to her- Five’s was more an off/on thing, and while he did have to clear his mind to make some room for the equations, it wasn’t a struggle to manage keeping his abilities in check. Five was reluctant to leave Vanya’s training in anyone’s hands but his own, but he knew that it would be invaluable to get perspectives from Klaus and Ben- and it would also probably be a process going faster if Five wasn’t there making sardonic comments.

So after lunch, when the time rolled around, Five started brushing up on his equations- still the exact modifications that needed to be made to allow time-travel alluded him and it was a problem that could certainly use an afternoon of thought, now that he had one free.

Klaus and Ben sat down with Vanya in her room.

Ben began, “Ok, so obviously not all our techniques are going to apply to you, but it might help a little to finding out how to harness your powers. You and Five have been working a lot on clearing you mind?”

“Mostly, yeah. I can order my thoughts now, which is supposed to make it easier to control and use my powers, but I can’t figure out how to actually _access_ my powers.”

“In my experience, if my head is clear then my powers are generally in full swing, so I’m not much help here until you want to talk about how to shut them off, which I have numerous fun options-“ Klaus offered.

Ben swiftly interrupted, “For me, it’s not so much a switch to flick but more sort of a string to pull at to draw out my powers. So maybe try just clearing your mind and feeling around for a string or something to pull at.”

Vanya closed her eyes, letting all her thoughts dissipate and then consciously started to search in her mind for any kind of trigger or fuse that might lead to her powers.

“I can’t find anything,” Vanya admitted, opening her eyes.

Ben looked a little disappointed, saying, “That’s fine, maybe it’s just not a string. It’ll be something else though, maybe just a consciousness like Klaus.”

Vanya closed her eyes, unsure of what she was meant to be feeling for.

“This is a little weird,” Vanya laughed, on the verge of giving up when something rose to mind. She tried to grab it, but it slipped through.

Ben watched her as she blinked again and professed, “I almost had something, but when I tried to get a hold of it, it just vanished.”

Klaus, who had been watching with fascination but not saying anything, upon hearing this had a flash of recognition. “Was it a little like a wave sort of thing when you felt it?”

“Kind of, it was-” Vanya stopped, struggling to find the words. “It was like if my clear mind was the sand to make way for the ocean and it came in and was a little overwhelming and then went back out.”

Klaus clapped his hands excitedly, “I think I know this, it’s a little bit how mine work when I want to conjure a specific apparition. Close your eyes and this time, don’t try and grab at it, just keep calm and focus on letting the feeling build.”

Vanya did as Klaus said, and when the familiar power rose in her mind, she let it grow until it was something physical. It wasn’t so much a string or a switch, but like pulling a blanket out and laying it down as she emptied her mind.

“Now what?” Vanya asked, careful to keep her voice low even though her powers were controlled.

“Let your thoughts trickle back in slowly. They’ll feel a little different because they’re on a different sort of foundation now, but it means that you’ll be able to control your powers by what you’re thinking rather than having a physical trigger,” Ben told her, remembering this as the basis Reginald had tried to teach him to control the monster- it couldn’t be restrained though, and he had abandoned the method.

Cautiously, Vanya let the thoughts flow back in. It was weird, they felt weightier than they had before and she was more acutely aware of each’s individual importance.

Gathering from the trainings she and Five had been having, Vanya focused on the sound of breathing- she twisted it, amplified it and then sent it to the cup sitting on her bedside table.

The shattering of the glass startled Ben and Klaus, watching her with bated breath,

“Vanya?” Ben asked worriedly, Klaus preparing to go and get Five.

Her eyes flicked open and she grinned as her glow faded. “I’ve got it!”

_————————————————————_

They drilled Vanya thoroughly, making her switch between being relaxed and having her powers at the ready- making sure the foundation could be relaid quickly and efficiently enough that Vanya needed only a few seconds. Eventually, with Five’s help, she would be able to do it at a split second’s notice and it would be just as instinctive as taking a step backwards from a loud noise. For now though, the most important thing was that it was a solid footing underpinning the control of her powers.

Moderation was a big part of Reginald’s training and so it was only in little increments that she indulged in her powers, but the strength she could feel behind it made Vanya more than assured that this system would work for louder sounds or larger, wider-spread destruction. She didn’t really _need_ destruction of any kind, but it was good practice for her control and, as Five had pointed out, had the added bonus of self-protection.

When the time was up, Vanya couldn’t stop thanking Klaus and Ben for their help.

“No need to say thank you, we’re just doing our part as moral citizens,” Klaus put on an air before winking and saying, “Though I wouldn’t object to a fruit basket-“

Ben interrupted him as Vanya laughed.

“You don’t really need to thank us Vanya, we wanted to help. Besides, it’s in all our best interests that you learn how to control your powers, I don’t really want you doing what you did to that glass to me!”

She grinned, “Only if the Terrors aren’t released on me! Thank you anyway! I said I’d meet Allison now though, since Five is working on time-travel all afternoon and I don’t want to disturb him.”

Klaus opened his mouth to tell Vanya that there was nothing she could do that would disturb Five, because he’d almost definitely rather be with her than doing his equations, but Ben, sensing his brother was about to antagonise Five _and_ confuse Vanya, jabbed him in the gut before he could get it out.

“See you at dinner then,” Ben replied and Vanya nodded, setting off towards Allison’s room.

“Why would you do that?” Klaus groaned, feeling his stomach gently for a bruise.

“Give them time, Klaus,” Ben told him wisely. 

“You’re only saying that because you put the bet on them not confessing until next week,” Klaus pointed out petulantly, straightening.

Ben grinned, “And? I’m going to win and you’ll owe me a donut- not my fault you think they aren’t repressed idiots.”

——————————————————————

Allison was painting Vanya’s toenails- after Vanya confessed she’d never had them painted before- while they chatted.

“So Ben and Klaus were doing your training today? How did Five feel about that?”

“Allison,” Vanya cautioned, not wanting to have an argument but also not wanting to talk about it.

“Sorry, sorry, you don’t have to answer that, curiosity got the better of me. You said that it was a good training session though?”

Allison adjusted the way that she talked to Vanya- to her, not about her. It was a switch that Allison struggled with a little, going from gossip to small talk and personal inquiries, but she understood the difference and was making a conscious effort to make Vanya feel more comfortable with her.

Vanya knew that Allison was trying but it was difficult to get out a lifetime habit, even when you _were_ really trying. Vanya also knew that she herself should be trying to be a little more open and that all gossip wasn’t bad, she was just unused to it. It was a balance they were learning to strike and Vanya was coming to enjoy the sisterly relationship that was somehow different to the rapport she had built with her brothers.

“I’m really glad you’re here Allison,” Vanya said, sincerity in her tone at the concerted effort Allison put into redirecting the question. 

“I’m glad you’re here too, Vanya.”

Banter and casual babble flowed between them and Vanya had just finished telling Allison a joke she had heard when Five took her out of the house when Allison grinned in that knowing way of hers

“What is it?” Vanya asked, half wanting to hear the answer and half wishing she wouldn’t.

“It’s just- I don’t want to upset you- but you look really happy,” Allison said simply.

Vanya smiled, blushing slightly and Allison took a chance.

“This might be overstepping and know you absolutely don’t have to, but I just wanted to say that if you ever want to talk about Five or how you’re feeling or if you’re ok- you’re more than welcome to come to me. I want our relationship to be better, and I know that’s going to take work to build up trust like that, so you probably won’t take me up on that soon, or maybe even ever, but I wanted to let you know that I do want to be there, and I’m learning how.”

Vanya’s smile lasted through to dinner and when Five saw her, he felt the weight in his chest (building from this afternoon when he realised he might have figured out a better way to time-travel) disappear.

Because maybe there wasn’t any other time he wanted to travel to, other than in that moment right then; lounging at the formal dinner table, listening to the chatter of his siblings and Reginald’s chair delightfully empty, with his leg against Vanya’s and his hand in hers, warm from the inside out by Vanya’s smile, Five was content to live in this moment right now.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh this is it! I can't believe it! 
> 
> This story has been so much fun to write, thank you so much for all the support- I never expected so many people would actually like my writing or my story ideas and the idea that they do (and that I've written more than 50 thousand words!) is crazy. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, I hope you like the final chapter and let me know what you think!

Reginald Hargreeves was many things. Millionaire. Olympian. Inventor. Genius. Businessman. Manipulator. Liar. He’d been given so many titles, played so many roles, and has deserved every one of them, all the way up to the title he knew would be his last- the one the he knew he could never deserve. Father.

The Umbrella Academy was to be his crowning achievement. His superheroes, his army, _his_ weapons moulded to _his_ purpose.

Reginald hadn’t known how volatile children could be when he adopted seven of them. He had done his best to make them the puppets he needed them to be- but there had always been too much fire in Number Five, too much emotion in Number Seven and both were stubborn, far too stubborn.

Reginald Hargreeves wasn’t stupid. He had noticed the two growing closer since Number Five had returned from his foolish time-travel misadventure- for all the boy could talk, Five was not as impassive as he seemed to think he was and the girl had never hidden anything in her life.

(Admittedly, Reginald didn’t know as much as he thought- he hadn’t realised Vanya wasn’t taking her medication or that she knew about her powers. He thought Number Seven to be too mild to ever even attempt such a feat, though he had never considered how Number Five’s more reckless nature could influence her. Five was far more diligent about destroying the evidence of training rather than just any signs of bonding.)

In any other circumstance, any other situation, Reginald Hargreeves would have shut it down without hesitation- having Pogo increase the dosage of her medication was just one part of the plan Reginald had to separate the two. But then he began to notice things.

Like how Number Five pushed himself harder in his trainings if he knew he would see Seven afterwards. How Number Seven applied herself more diligently to her mathematics lessons and her violin practice was shorter, but more intensive and she mastered pieces faster. How Number Four was sobering- how both Five and Seven knew about it and checked in on him as regularly as Number Six. How Number Six wasn’t as reluctant to try and learn control of the monster.

How Number Five was less abrasive and rude without thought, how Number Seven was less neutral and achieved more.

How Number One made more rational decisions with a sarcastic but well-meaning Five hanging over his shoulder on missions. How Number Two was more confident in himself and didn’t hesitate in missions. How Number Three occupied herself less with being the centre of attention and more with doing things correctly.

`

Reginald Hargreeves noticed these things and realised that to separate Number Seven and Number Five would not be prudent. Somehow, they tempered each other- somehow they made each other stronger and the rest of the Academy _better._

He knew that the Umbrella Academy had failed- he could see it in the children as they hardened their resolve every day to leave when they were eighteen.

Reginald Hargreeves was not a father.

He taught them how to draw air into their lungs, how to eat whatever was put on their plate, how to put one foot in front of the other, how to think, how to kill. Reginald Hargreeves taught the children of his Academy how to live, in the barest sense of the word.

Reginald taught them how to hate the criminals they fought, to despise the inefficiency of the justice system, to understand that a life could be theirs for the taking when it wasn’t on the side that was paying. He taught them how to loathe, and to loathe with every fibre of their being.

Reginald Hargreeves had never been loved. He wasn’t sure how to, so he never did and he never taught his charges how to.

And yet somehow, when he looked at Number Five and Number Seven ( _Vanya,_ he knew but could never say aloud) he could see it plain and simple. He never taught these children, but they learned to love all on their own.

Reginald Hargreeves was not a father.

But he thinks that if there was one thing he could do, to apologise for not being one, is to let these children have their love.

————————————————

Five grinned as he watched Vanya make the glass crack, but not fall apart. A perfectly made cup out of glass shards, delicately held together by Vanya’s control of her powers.

“That’s brilliant Vanya,” he breathed and Vanya sent a grin back his way before letting all the pieces drop.

“Thank you, though I can’t take all the credit, my mentor/trainer may have helped a _little_ ,” she said with false modesty, fluttering eyelashes dramatically at Five.

“No, I don’t think anyone else can take recognition for this. This is entirely you, Vanya, and how hard you’ve worked,” Five said earnestly.

Vanya smiled genuinely at that, “Thank you, Five.”

He smiled back at her, internally cursing himself for chickening out, the words he really wanted to say getting stuck in throat and he couldn’t seem to dislodge them.

Vanya had looked so radiant then, smiling and in control of herself, glowing with her power and with contentment and pride at her abilities. And she deserved to be proud of it too, she had come so far and Five was thrilled at how quickly she mastered the techniques Ben and Klaus had shown her.

Five was suddenly overcome by an overwhelming feel of fondness rising in his chest. His throat thickened and he grinned so wide it hurt (and hurt in the best possible way). There was so much he wanted to tell her.

The relief he had felt when he collapsed into her arms the day he returned; the determination at trying to be her friend; how _not alone_ he had felt when she had come for him that night, and every other night he had spent in her company laughing, warm in her embrace; the joy at having someone who understood him; the curiosity at any given moment for what _she_ was thinking, what Vanya was feeling. Knowing he was going to be fine, even after he was stabbed because he was coming home to her; the fear when she was on her medication and drifting; the desperate gratitude when she came back to him; the want to protect her when her secret was revealed but knowing she didn’t need his protection; the pride at watching her control her powers and be more Vanya than just the seventh of the Umbrella Academy.

The way love had somehow crept up on Five and he can’t place the moment, just a series of moments with Vanya he never wanted to forget because any moment with her was precious. Not always in a heart-stopping, earth-shattering way that had to be acknowledged, but also in the quiet moments where they just shared comfort. Five felt safe with Vanya, he was vulnerable, but he never felt like he was exposed or in danger of judgement or hurt because… Vanya was his home. It was as simple as that.

Then again, Five wasn’t quite sure how to put that into words that somewhat coherently told Vanya that he didn’t give a _shit_ about where they ended up, because if Five was with Vanya, then it was already home.

How did he tell her? She was standing there, and he wanted to hold his breath, as if that would save this moment for ever.

So much Five wanted to say, and no idea how to say it.

———————————————————

Five had something he wanted to tell her.

Vanya knew it for certain, he kept half-starting and then stopping, laughing and telling her not to worry about it. But what was really throwing her was that he seemed _nervous._ Five didn’t get nervous. He got angry, he got sad, sarcastic, blunt, content, happy, relaxed, sure. Not nervous.

She wanted to confront him about what was putting him on edge, but at the same time, Vanya was as wary as she was curious about what could make _Five_ nervous.

It didn’t help that she couldn’t tell where she stood with him. ‘ _You’re my favourite’_ he said. What does that mean?

Would he be ok if Vanya took his hand more often? Was it alright that Vanya hoped he might put his arm around her or kiss her on the forehead again? Could _she_ kiss _him_?

Because they were all things she wanted to do. But Five was annoyingly difficult to read when it came to things like that- most because Vanya didn’t _know what to look for, just because he has pink cheeks sometimes doesn’t mean he’s blushing, Allison._

So when Five suggested a trip out to Griddy’s, Vanya was doubly excited to spend time outside the house- not only with Five, but with her whole family.

So much had changed since the last time they had walked through those doors.

Five was no longer obsessing over the apocalypse and he _knew_ how to time-travel now, even if he wasn’t eager to test it; they had been eating real food, not the weird diet imposed by Reginald as punishment; Vanya knew about her powers and could control them. The Umbrella Academy was not just a group of children with only a birthday and last name in common- they had become friends and somehow the future and the present didn’t seem so bleak or lonely anymore.

Sliding into a chair by Five, Vanya smiled as she glanced around the diner.

“What is it?” Five asked curiously.

“Nothing,” Vanya laughed slightly, shaking her head, “I just feel like so much has happened since we were last here, like something should be different here since it feels like it’s been so long. But it’s the same.”

Five smiled, “I swear this place has never changed, every time we come here it looks identical to how it did last time. It’s like a time capsule.”

Vanya was about to respond when her attention was drawn away by Diego and Luther, competing to see who could eat the most donuts in a minute, and Klaus excitedly commentating.

“Luther is in the lead by half a donut with just ten seconds left, come on Diego, force it down! Seven, six, Luther has just finished his fourth donut, Diego is one behind, two, one and Luther is the winner!”

Klaus grabbed Luther’s hand and raised it like a champion on a podium, but his brother was turning green around the gills.

“Oh no-“

“He wouldn’t-“

“He looks like-“

“He’s going to,” Five groaned.

“Don’t puke on me, Luther!” Allison cried as she pushed him to the bathroom.

There was silence for a pause before Klaus declared,

“And Diego is the winner, by default, at three donuts in a minute!”

Unfortunately, it seemed he spoke too soon, as Diego stumbled after Luther in the direction of the men’s bathrooms.

Vanya wrinkled her nose, “They’re so loud, Diego’s retching and I think Luther’s crying. You might want to go in there Allison, sounds like he could use some comfort.”

“Do you want to get out of here?” Five asked, “Get away from all the noise?”

“That’d be nice, yeah,” Vanya agreed, gathering her coat and scarf, unaware of the puckered faces Klaus and Ben were making above her.

Five’s glare would have scared them into submission if it had been like the last time they came to Griddy’s, but instead they both just laughed and waved the pair off with identical shit-eating grins- Klaus’s just a little smaller than Ben’s because he was _going to lose the best dammit, couldn’t they have gotten together one month earlier?_

They wandered back towards the Academy, both a little lost in their own thoughts but grateful for the silent company. Vanya sorted through her musings first (hardly surprising, considering all the meditation she had been doing and as a result how well she now knew her own mind) as they turned the corner onto the block of the Umbrella Academy.

“I know there’s something you’ve been trying to tell me for the past few weeks. What is it, Five?”

Vanya swears she heard his heart pause before the beat accelerated. Finally, after continuing to walk down the street, he asked,

“How did you know?”

“Not important. What do you want to tell me?” Vanya pressed.

“If you can tell that I want to tell you something, surely you know what it is,” Five deflected.

She grabbed his arm, pulling them up short outside the gates of the Academy.

“Why are you evading the question? Five?”

Unconsciously, Vanya’s powers took hold- the sound of her voice amplifying, creating dark clouds in the sky. Her training had helped her though, and this time when she noticed them, she took hold of it, controlling it not into harsh stabs of lightning or heavy downpour of rain, but a light flurry of snow.

Five had been torn between what to do when he felt the snow begin to fall- and all of a sudden, he was hit with a wave of nostalgia. He was back in the apocalypse, kneeling right here in the ruins of the Academy, all alone with the bitter taste of regret in his mouth, as ash rained down on him.

Then he blinked, and Five was standing, looking at Vanya, as snow fluttered down from the heavens. It was gone, but that moment of panic at being back there, it reminded him of the future he was almost certain they had evaded.

And Five knew he was being stupid. He had sworn to himself that if he made it back from that wasteland, he was going to be Vanya’s friend and because of his feelings, he wasn’t being a true friend to her. He had to tell her now, otherwise he might let his perspective slip away again.

He examined Vanya, committing every detail to memory- every hair pushed to the side, the way she was hiding as much of her face as she could in the pink scarf she wore, all the way down to the snowflake melting on her eyelashes. Five didn’t ever want to forget Vanya like this, especially if this was the last time she would be so free with him after he told her how he felt.

“You’re right. I do have something to tell you- something I’ve been meaning to tell you for-“ he paused, trying to calm his pulse and simultaneously recall how long he had been in love with Vanya, “I can’t even remember how long. Just a really long time,” he laughed slightly.

Vanya could hear the quiver of uncertainty in Five’s voice and as she looked into his gaze (always _blue_ and _sure_ and _electric_ ), she could see something she didn’t recognise- not in Five. Fear? No. Insecurity. And did she detect just the smallest hint of resignation, as if he already knew how this conversation were to play out?

Five plunged on.

“I probably don’t really need to tell you- I’ve been pretty obvious about how I feel- but I think I should probably just come out with it.”

“How you fe- what are you talking about Five?” Vanya asked, still _so_ confused- why was Five being so cryptic?

Five looked at Vanya, really looked at her, before glancing away. He let out a huge sigh and philosophically accepting his fate.

“I’m in love with you Vanya. And I think I’ve been falling in love with you my whole damn life.”

_“What?”_ Vanya choked out weakly.

She wasn’t sure what she expected, but it certainly wasn’t _that._ (To be honest, she’s not sure anything could have prepared her for it).

Vanya must still be in shock from hearing her brothers puke from a room away, because there was no way Five had just said that. And yet Five, obstinate as ever and not wanting to let anything (especially _reason)_ tell him what to do, continued.

“I’m in love with you. The way you play violin and the way you talk back to me and the way that I can tell just from a glance exactly what you’re thinking- it’s just… I love you Vanya. All of you. Not just Number Seven, not just White Violin or whatever Pogo documented you as.”

Five had struggled with exactly what he wanted to tell Vanya, but now that he was here, everything came pouring out.

(He had to say it, if only just once)

“I love the girl who winks at me at breakfast and laughs with me at lunch and lets me listen to her play violin in the afternoon and who trains so hard because she doesn’t want to hurt anyone and wants to be better. But it’s a lost cause, because there’s no one better than you Vanya. No one.”

He laughed a little hopelessly, completely missing the soft grin that was growing on Vanya’s face as tears filled her eyes, to hear someone talk about her so tenderly, with so much care, with so much _love._

“I love you, Vanya Hargreeves. And I’m not sure there’s one thing in this whole damned world that could make me stop.”

Five’s eyes stuck to the floor as he hung his head slightly, not wanting to see condemnation in Vanya’s gaze, even if he did deserve it. It was only when he heard a thick sort of laugh that he jerked his head up to see Vanya grinning. She stepped just a little bit closer to him and Five’s brain (the _one time_ he actually wanted it to work in overdrive _)_ seemed to have completely shut down. Unthinkingly, he leaned his head into hers.

“I love you too Five,” Vanya took some delight in the breath she heard catch in his throat and the way his heart suddenly pounded, before she murmured against his lips, “So please don’t stop.”

And then she was kissing him- or maybe he was kissing her, in all the tellings and retellings and reminiscing (the very first of which would be given to an eager Allison and petulant Klaus by Vanya while Ben rejoiced in the background and Five kept Diego and Luther’s laughs quiet with his glares and reminders of their upchuck episode), the details became a little hazy.

But both Five and Vanya agree that as they pulled apart, the clouds disappeared- certainly leaving some pedestrians surprised at the unexpected snowfall- and they went back to Griddy’s for their siblings, hands intertwined. Their family wouldn’t notice anything was different that night until Five kissed Vanya goodnight at her door (and then promptly flipped off Klaus, Ben and Diego for their wolf-whistles that almost roused Pogo).

The next day, the story would be recounted for them, Ben would declare himself the winner of the bet and Klaus would rebut that he _already bought you a donut yesterday Ben so shut up about it_ but his exuberance at how happy Vanya and Five were was obvious.

Reginald said nothing about the two clasping hands at the breakfast table, and Pogo remarked on it in his journals with a smile, because he loved the children, and even if he did have to do as Reginald told him, he was glad they were happy.

Vanya had never been happier and neither had Five, both drawing comfort from each other in equal measures. They were a little clumsy and a little awkward, as is any relationship-especially a first one- but both happy and loved.

There wasn’t one moment that stood out more than any others in their love story. It was just a series of moments where Five and Vanya learnt to love each other, each teaching just as much as they learnt, because love is an equal give and take.

——————————————————

One thing that still tugged at Five’s curiosity though, so one morning before breakfast, he got up, put on his uniform and jumped through space and time.

This time, he used his new equations to jump- and rather than being guided by landing in a specific _place_ , he focused on getting near a particular _person._

When Number Five landed, it was dark. He was on a quiet city street, standing in the ring of light pooled by the street lamp above him. He wasn’t bothered by any of this though, as he glanced around, looking, until he looked up to the apartment building across the street.

In one of the open lit windows, Five noticed a pot plant sat on the sill and figure illuminated by the light from the apartment. He could make out a face that, though older, more mature, was as familiar to him as his own, as a violin melody floated down to Five.

Vanya glowed, both with happiness and her powers, in the golden light of the apartment before another figure joined her in the window as her piece came to an end.

“That was perfect,” Five recognised his own voice, if perhaps deeper and, again, older. Vanya must be unconsciously amplifying their conversation while her powers were still in affect, otherwise Five wouldn’t be able to hear them.

“No, it wasn’t, but thank you anyway,” Vanya smiled at him and Five knew it was the same one she gave him now when he said something that she thought was him just appeasing her but she hoped was true all the same.

“I’m serious, Vanya, it was brilliant.”

This time she gave him a real smile and glanced in the interior of the apartment before she said teasingly,

“You wouldn’t just be saying that so that I’d leave it and come walking with you, now would you Five?”

“Of course not, I do mean it,” Five watched his elder counterpart step towards her and add, “Although, company would be nice…”

Vanya laughed as she packed away her instrument, “Walking through the park at midnight then?”

“We’ve got nowhere to be,” the older Five replied.

Five felt his chest fill with warmth at the reference to a conversation that for them would be so many years old.

“I love you,” Five in the window told Vanya as she reappeared, with her jacket in hand.

“I love you too,” Vanya grinned and kissed him before taking his hand and tugging him towards the door.

Through the window, Five saw himself pause and look down. He looked directly at his younger counterpart and smiled, giving a little salute with a wink before he disappeared from the frame.

What Five would do for a look in their apartment- to see the life they had built together.

But he had something better- he had Vanya waiting at home, and they could build it themselves.

So Number Five stepped back through time and space to his bedroom and as he emerged out of the blue flash, Vanya entered his room.

“Hey, where have you been?” She asked with a quick furrow of her brows.

“Just went to check on something. I’ll tell you all about it later, but I think we’re going to be late for breakfast,” Five responded, glancing at his clock.

Vanya grabbed his hand and pulled him out of his room but before they went further down the hall, Five stopped and kissed her.

“What was that for?” Vanya asked, grinning slightly.

“Nothing. I just love you Vanya.”

“I love you too Five, but we’re going to be late!”

Five grinned and they entered the dining room together, right on time, fingers woven together.


End file.
